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You're FAT and that is NOT sexy!

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:56 PM
  • 46 Replies

If you, the woman, (we aren't talking about men in this post) gain a large amount of weight, does your Husband have the right to come to you and let you know that he isn't physically attracted to you? 

I am sure there will be a lot of, "he can say it nicely" but seriously...

So many times I hear that he should love you no matter what. We aren't talking about his loving you. We are talking about him finding you, "I can't make it to the bedroom so i'm going to rip your clothes off right here" sexy. 

When you no longer do it for him, would you want to talk about it or would you rather not hear it?

I know that my Fiance will love me no matter how much or how little I weigh. But I also know that he, like many other men, is a very visual person. So if I let myself go, he will not be attracted to me. I want him to tell me when I weigh too much for his liking. I want him to tell me when I weigh too little or when I have let myself get too muscular. I am known for doing all of these things. I have a ton more testosterone in my body than most females. I pick up a 12 pound weight and bulk up like it's nobody's business. 

I WANT HIM TO BE ATTRACTED TO ME. And only he knows when he is or he isn't so I need him to tell me. 

War fathers many orphans and gives birth to many widows and widowers
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nursesharon
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 12:59 PM
I would want him to put it in the nicest way possible! But any time I put some weight on I feel bad enough about myself that he doesn't have to say a word.
freshmom88
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 1:00 PM
i agree
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mmama0619
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 1:07 PM
I agree, they are attracted to us when they met us, so if we look different from what we did when they first saw us, then yeah they mite not b as attracted to us, like if u was 123 lbs when u met him n now ur like 200 lbs most likely he won't b as into u any more, that's just how men r, they like what they saw the first time, that's who they met, who they fell in love with, who they was attracted to, I like to keep myself the way he met me
WILFORKBABY
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 1:07 PM

HONEY LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!!! MY WEIGHT WAS 385 WHEN I MEET HIM  DROPPED TO 253 2 MONTHS B4 WE GOT MARRIED AND I GAINED 26LBS AFTER WE GOT MARRIED IN LESS THAN A MONTH AND HE AINT SAID ONE WORD.  DURING ALL OF MY UPS AND DOWNS OF WEIGHT LOSS I KEPT IT SEXY! EITHER HE'S ADJUSTIG TO THE WEIGHT GAIN OR LOSS OR HE JUST MIGHT BE AFRAID TO SAY ANYTHING *LOL* BUT SERIOULY, I DON'T THINK WEIGHT IS THE MAIN ISSUE. I THINK WHEN A WOMAN DOES NOT "KEEP" THINGS SEXY IS THE PARTLY THE PROBLEM. DON'T JUST GAIN WEIGHT AND LEAVE YOUR MAN OUT IN THE COLD. KEEP THINGS SEXY, BUY A SEXY "BIG GIRL'" OUTFIT. IF YOU SEE YOURSELF GAINING AND YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH IT YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. IF YU HAVE ISSUES WITH IT... THEN HE WILL . THAT'S IT IN A NUTSHELL.

MaryanneMac
by Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 1:12 PM

Honestly a good marriage isn't about how much you weight.  I was big when I married my hubby, lost a ton of weight, gained it back when I was pregnant with our twin sons. Lost it again and now I'm gaining it back because I'm pregnant again.  he never said a word about my weight when I was big, never a word when I lost it.  The only time he has commmented on my weight is when I'm pregnant (and that isn't about size it's about making sure I eat for me and the babies!)  If you weight is the biggest problem in your relationship then your lucky.

Rain2Rinse
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 1:17 PM

I'm glad he still thinks you're sexy! :)

I wasn't talking about myself. I was just talking about in general. He thinks i'm sexy and tells me every day. I feel very wanted by my Fiance

Quoting WILFORKBABY:

HONEY LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!!! MY WEIGHT WAS 385 WHEN I MEET HIM  DROPPED TO 253 2 MONTHS B4 WE GOT MARRIED AND I GAINED 26LBS AFTER WE GOT MARRIED IN LESS THAN A MONTH AND HE AINT SAID ONE WORD.  DURING ALL OF MY UPS AND DOWNS OF WEIGHT LOSS I KEPT IT SEXY! EITHER HE'S ADJUSTIG TO THE WEIGHT GAIN OR LOSS OR HE JUST MIGHT BE AFRAID TO SAY ANYTHING *LOL* BUT SERIOULY, I DON'T THINK WEIGHT IS THE MAIN ISSUE. I THINK WHEN A WOMAN DOES NOT "KEEP" THINGS SEXY IS THE PARTLY THE PROBLEM. DON'T JUST GAIN WEIGHT AND LEAVE YOUR MAN OUT IN THE COLD. KEEP THINGS SEXY, BUY A SEXY "BIG GIRL'" OUTFIT. IF YOU SEE YOURSELF GAINING AND YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH IT YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. IF YU HAVE ISSUES WITH IT... THEN HE WILL . THAT'S IT IN A NUTSHELL.


War fathers many orphans and gives birth to many widows and widowers
Rain2Rinse
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 1:18 PM

I agree that a marriage shouldn't be about weight.

My post started off with weight but it could be about anything really. 

Maybe I should have titled the post "if you aren't still doing the things you did to get him"? 

Quoting MaryanneMac:

Honestly a good marriage isn't about how much you weight.  I was big when I married my hubby, lost a ton of weight, gained it back when I was pregnant with our twin sons. Lost it again and now I'm gaining it back because I'm pregnant again.  he never said a word about my weight when I was big, never a word when I lost it.  The only time he has commmented on my weight is when I'm pregnant (and that isn't about size it's about making sure I eat for me and the babies!)  If you weight is the biggest problem in your relationship then your lucky.


War fathers many orphans and gives birth to many widows and widowers
RheaF
by Silver Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 1:21 PM

 I have gained weight(about 50 pounds since we met 6 years ago), yet he is still turned on by me and still thinks I am sexy.

I think most women are so much harder on ourselves than our SO's are. We think we don't look as good, so naturally our SO's can't possibly be as attracted to us anymore right? Wrong! Most of the time they do still find us just as sexy, even if we refuse to believe that.

On that note, if you don;t feel as sexy...would you really believe him anyway?

calimommy1021
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 1:23 PM

 I don't think he has a right to do that. Marriage isn't based on looks, it's what's on the inside. If he can't see the beauty on the inside then there's a problem. My husband has said he'll love me no matter how much weight I gain, of course he doesn't want me to let myself go, but he said he knows that it's a fact of life that women gain weight after pregnancies.

suzy1125
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 1:29 PM
Yeah they should love you no matter what, you know for better or worse! But if someone was thin when they met and married then obviously that what they were attracted to in the first place. If said person was over weight in the beginning they they wouldn't have been looked at twice and probably wouldn't be with that person!
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