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Shocked

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 2:28 PM
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So my father comes knocking at my door this morning. So I go let him in and he informs me that my mother has kicked him out. I am like WOW! They have had a rocky relationship as long as I can remember. He is head over heels in love with her and she could care less. Long story as short as possible. My mom has had hormonal issues for like as long as I can remember. She has been put in a mental institution atleast once when I was a little girl for just going crazy. She has always been more about partying then about having anything to do with me or my brother. And I had hoped that once I had kids that would change..but it hasn't. She is just a very selfish person. And I have never confronted her about it b/c everytime I try she just burst into tears and says she is a bad mother and bad wife and everyone thinks she is a bitch. So I just avoid the issue. Everyone is always walking on needles when she is around..is she in a good mood, is she in a bad mood. Needless to say her and I don't have much or a relationship. We chat and all but she just doesn't involve herself much in my life at all unless it comes to how my son makes her look at school. She is a special ed teacher at the same school my son is at. Obviously my father has issues too...but my mothers are much worse. Her and him used to get into physical fights when I was younger..I would hide and just cry and scream for them to stop. I watched him almost run her over with his car one day when she and him got into it. She was hitting him and he just wanted to leave. He got in the car and started backing up and she started trying to hit him through the window and she was hanging on to the door saying he wasn't going anywhere. She tripped and fell and he came so close to running her over. My parents were also hard partiers...mother still drinks ALOT! But they used to put me in all kinds of awful situations. I witnessed lots I shouldn't off. Needless to say my dad stopped drinking for awhile and she and his relationship got worse. The fighting stopped but my mothers attitude towards my father and the rest of us was wrong. We moved into our new place when I was 8...I don't remember her cooking except on special occasions. We cooked our own meals...normally I cooked my father dinner. My brother who is 6 yrs older then me is really screwed up and blames my mother for all of his issues. I don't blame her for who I am today..if it wasn't for her who knows what I would be like. I have learned what kinds of mother I don't want to be, and what kind of wife, I don't want to be.

The biggest issue lately with my mother is that she has inherited some property from my Grandmother in California. We live in VA but she has about 1/2 million or so worth of properties there. Well she has started to act stingy...she told my Dad that she thinks he has stayed with her all these years just waiting on her mother to die so he can get her money. So she told him he could have nothing to do with the money or the property. She apologized for that at one point. She comes straight home from work everyday and climbs into bed. She has nothing to say to any of us. She gives us list of what needs to be done around the house...just normal maintenance but then she goes to sleep. She expects us to do it all but if we don't she starts complaining that she lives in a crappy house with crappy shit. The house has a finished basement so to save money they allowed us to move in to the lower apartment. We have our own kictchen, livingroom, bathroom, bedroooms so we don't have to see them unless we want to and vise versa but she has nothing to do with us. But since we moved down she doesn't like my kids upstairs b/c she got some 30 yr old furniture from my Grandmother and she said my kids will mess it up. She doesn't even like my father to sit on it. In my personal opinion I wouldn't have anything in my house that my family couldn't use....but I am more about family then her.  They also allowed a friend of my moms to move in. Well everytime TMI my Dad would go to my mom for sex she would say no go get it from Debbie...I mean what woman does that. My dad has been back to drinking the last few  months. And he gets really drunk atleast once a months. I have to really watch him b/c when my Dad gets drunk he plays very rough. As a child I would have to deal with my dad pinching and play fighting me...which hurt,,,,and clean up my mothers puke. I was the designated driver at 8 yrs old. Anyway my Dad has got to drinking a few times and then came around my children. He gets real lovey and starts to play. I just have to watch he doesn't get to rough and when he does I have to get tough and send him away. I worry about him though. He just had his knee replaced...he isn't supposed to be walking...and I know he is depressed about Mom. And that is when he gets to drinking...when he is depressed about her. My Grandmother said that he can stay with her but he also has a friend who will let him live in a house he owns. I just can't imagine my parents being separated. And Hubby always said if she kicked Dad out that we would leave to...My Hubby very much sees and dislikes how my mother is. So now I am stressing over that. I mean how can I not leave after what she has done to him. He needs someone to take care of him. My brother is so upset. He wants to come over and lay into her. He has years of things he has wanted to say but hasn't. So have I but I could never say it. He could. But we are afraid if he says something that she will sell the house out from underneath us and move back to Calif. And trust me she would. She has a sister, and a daughter she gave up for adoption and recently found there. And that would leave Dad and us in a bind. So we are worried...I am not sure what is gonna happen. Uhh this is ridiculous at there age. I mean she is gonna be miserable unless she has tons of money and some young hot hunk...and even then she wouldn't really be happy...and he is gonna be miserable with her and without her. This just sucks! Sorry this was so long...I just needed to vent!

by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 2:28 PM
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3rdTimeJoining
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 2:41 PM

Oh my. I wish I could give you some good advice. Just take it one day at a time. If you can, I would say move out. You don't need that stress anymore now that you have children of your own. I've had family drama myself & I completely stopped talking to family members that have caused me problems. An example, my grandfather on my mom's side remarried when my grandmother died (I was still an infant). Well, fast forward a good bit of years & I'm pregnant with my first, but having problems with my hubby (he was just my bf at the time). She started up a family rumor that my hubby told me to drink bleach to get rid of my son. Now after all the stress I've had growing up, why would I stay with someone who told me that? Then she went crazy on the phone with me and I gave the phone to my stepdad (I was visiting him at the time) and she went crazy on him. So I completely stopped talking to her. It's been 5 years now & I do not regret her never seeing my children & me never talking to her. 

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