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12 years later we still love each other, but there is one problem.

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:29 AM
  • 36 Replies

The person that I love isn't my husband. I do love my husband, but I have always loved this person too.

We have a 10 year age difference between us and have had a time trying to keep in touch. We recently just got back in touch with each other and confessed to each other that we still love one another. He is going through a tough time in his marriage and is likely to get divorced. My husband and I have been going through a rough time too, but we haven't said the "D" word.

I miss my friend that I love and I want to be with him,even if it is just for a little bit. We were together when we were younger but of course we weren't intimate and we really want to know what its like being intimate with each other.

 I feel bad for loving him all this time, but I can't help how I feel. There is  a downside to all of this, were 800 miles apart. I want to just get in my car and drive to him. I know that he is my true love and that we would be very happy together.

I am happy with my husbsnd , but i know that i could be happier.

by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
soon2bmmy
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:35 AM

BUMP!

Grumpylilpixy
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:39 AM

Why didn't YOU marry YOUR TRUE LOVE?

This is a tough situation. Why don't you go see him maybe that is what you need. Maybe you both need that.

whatever it is you figure out. Remember the grass is not always greener on the other side. 

Good luck hun...........



sacdp29
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:40 AM

The only thing I can say is.....  You apparently don't love your husband as you thought or you wouldn't be thinking of anyone else.  There must be something missing from your marriage.

In some ways, I understand because I cheated on my first husband, I was not happy but I stayed because of our kids.  I'm very embarrassed that I did that, because our relationship was never the same (even before he found out). I am married to my 2nd and LAST husband.  I NEVER have wanted or thought about cheating on him.

Think very seriously about this.  If you want to be with someone so bad, maybe you and your husband need counseling.

Good luck

(P.S.  you are going to get alot of negative feedback, just warning you)


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Ladywithtwo
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:43 AM
I think you can love 2 people. I have been married for 8 years and truly love my DH. In my whole life I have only told 2 men that I love them, DH & an ex. My ex and I only separated bc he moved. I still love him. We keep in touch but it's hard bc those feelings are stronger when we talk.
Its hard but you have to decide what to do.
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blondie0234
by Member on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:44 AM

Can honestly say I get that. I haven't known this man for 12 years, but I have strangely strong feelings for him. And I do love my husband, just not happy here. Fights and hurtful words, not really Any help anymore. it's like i'm living from day to day, not looking forward to really anything. BUT everytime I try to leave, I'm heartbroken. I hope you figure out what it is you want hun.

Ladywithtwo
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:44 AM
PS-- the feelings don't just go away. I've been in love with my ex for 12 years, since I was only 17. Distance physically and emotionally are the best things for us.
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soon2bmmy
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:45 AM


Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

Why didn't YOU marry YOUR TRUE LOVE?

This is a tough situation. Why don't you go see him maybe that is what you need. Maybe you both need that.

whatever it is you figure out. Remember the grass is not always greener on the other side. 

Good luck hun...........

 

 

We never have really had a chance to be together now that I am of age. Whenever he was single I was not and vice versa.

We have said that if we ever get to be together we would definately get married. We know that we love each other and that it has never changed and we know that it probably never will.

mommabear2216
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:48 AM
Ouch!!!!! I'm sorry but I feel really bad for your husband. You said your self that yall was young and never intimate and if there is so many miles between yall I would hate to know you hurt someone over a what if. And again I am not meaning this to sound to mean but it sounds like you are a little selfish :(
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Jess0915
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:48 AM
I actually understand how you feel. But, the grass is always greener. You don't know who this man is now. The little annoying things our hubbys do may get on our nerves and we may even have marriage troubles, but in reality this other man has problems too and you would take the risk of leaving your husband for some who will end up not making you happy. Marriages go through tough times, but thats why its a committment, for better or worse. I only say this because I'm glad I didn't go for the one I thought was my soul mate because as it turned out he had much bigger issues than I was even aware of. He did get married and ended up running her off with his problems. I knew him for so long I thought I knew everything about him but who comes out and tells about all their bad habits and problems? I hope you at least consider that this guy may not be as perfect as he seems and realize that the tough time you're in right now with your hubby will pass. Good luck, I know its a tough situation to be in.
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Grumpylilpixy
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:48 AM

I love the picture of the 2 of you. That is very sweet.

But I agree I have a very close man who was in my life until months before I married my husband I passed him because physically and emotionally and mentally he was everything. BUT. He didn't want to work. Wonderful with my kids just a great guy all around. But he can't hold a job and he has had some criminal probs in the past. It's just somethin I couldn't seem to get past. So I passed him up. I love my husband very much. But sometimes I wonder how would it have been if I would have just stayed with him. I didn't see this man making me happy and my hubby makes me happy. 

And I don't think about cheating on him or even looking at anyone else and I have been with hubby for going on 6 years together and married  almost 6 months.  But I still have a very tender spot for this other person but to have a wonderful marriage with my hubby I no longer have contact with the other man.

Quoting sacdp29:

The only thing I can say is.....  You apparently don't love your husband as you thought or you wouldn't be thinking of anyone else.  There must be something missing from your marriage.

In some ways, I understand because I cheated on my first husband, I was not happy but I stayed because of our kids.  I'm very embarrassed that I did that, because our relationship was never the same (even before he found out). I am married to my 2nd and LAST husband.  I NEVER have wanted or thought about cheating on him.

Think very seriously about this.  If you want to be with someone so bad, maybe you and your husband need counseling.

Good luck

(P.S.  you are going to get alot of negative feedback, just warning you)


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