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unsupportive husband.. stay or go?

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:17 PM
  • 14 Replies
if someone is undermining their partner's goals and success, then they not only don't have the partner's best interests at heart, they are actively behaving in a manner that is damaging and destructive to the partner.
husband and I had heated argument because I worked 12 hours yesterday and hr ended taking care of our 1yo ds for 4 hours.ive given up my full time job to prn job because hes giving me hard time with it. I voiced out my wish to practice driving so I can get my license but be kept giving excuses and saying its my fault.i expressed my desire to get my cna, he didnt support nor help and if not for some friends who supported me, I wont get my cna.now, im aiming for assoc rn, he still isnt supportive, and were gonna have.two little ones very soon.
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by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sara52
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:22 PM

Tell him how you feel. Tell him why you want and need to do this and why you need his support. Only you can make that desision for yourself and to me it seams like you already know what you want.

findingserenity
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:36 PM
I explained to him the best I can, I broke down but it didnt move him.got aggravated at his 8 month pregnant wife and kept giving cold and silent treatment.


Quoting Sara52:

Tell him how you feel. Tell him why you want and need to do this and why you need his support. Only you can make that desision for yourself and to me it seams like you already know what you want.


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suziq1982
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:36 PM

You need to voice to him what you need and want from him. You need to discuss as a couple how you get there and what your options are. You need to decide what is best for you and your family. If you don't get the support you need from him continue you getting it from friends and family until you figure out your life with your husband. Good luck and Good Job improving yourself through further education.

AlannaMaria
by Ruby Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:37 PM

 (hugs) I have noticed your replies in other posts for a while now and it doesn't seem like you are happy at all :( i don't know your situation but from what i gather from past posts your pretty unhappy... I don't really know what you should do. Maybe you need to go to marriage counseling or have a serious talk with him and tell him just how you feel and tell him if things don't change then you don't want to live like this anymore. I think you should try everything out there before you throw the towel in and end it. i'm sorry mama! good luck. life is to short to be unhappy and miserable.

sophiex
by Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:39 PM

What were your plans as a couple when you got married? Did he want you to be a stay-at-home mom? Can he provide for you and the kids? If you guys didn't have an agreement before marriage and if you need to work to help with the income I don't see a reason for him to not be supportive. I really don't get the part about the driver's license. Give him some solid reasons to make him realize you need it. I can't imagine having kids and not be able to drive them somewhere in case of emergency!

findingserenity
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:42 PM
he say hes not hindering me but kept giving excuses to why I cant go back to school.he did that before I took my cna and when I got it, I did it against his will, he accused me that I was disrespectful of him.i intend to get grant/scholarship or tuition fee reimbursement from the hospital where I work now but he said, we cant do it because who will take care of our toddler and baby when I give birth. he wouldnt sacrifice and babysit.


Quoting suziq1982:

You need to voice to him what you need and want from him. You need to discuss as a couple how you get there and what your options are. You need to decide what is best for you and your family. If you don't get the support you need from him continue you getting it from friends and family until you figure out your life with your husband. Good luck and Good Job improving yourself through further education.


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findingserenity
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:45 PM
he told me the door is open, that if im that miserable, I can go.


Quoting AlannaMaria:

 (hugs) I have noticed your replies in other posts for a while now and it doesn't seem like you are happy at all :( i don't know your situation but from what i gather from past posts your pretty unhappy... I don't really know what you should do. Maybe you need to go to marriage counseling or have a serious talk with him and tell him just how you feel and tell him if things don't change then you don't want to live like this anymore. I think you should try everything out there before you throw the towel in and end it. i'm sorry mama! good luck. life is to short to be unhappy and miserable.


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AlannaMaria
by Ruby Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:48 PM

 sounds like he doesn't care, and doesn't want to try and fix your marriage.. maybe thats what you should do and i bet he will be begging you to come back home. He sounds mean!

Quoting findingserenity:

he told me the door is open, that if im that miserable, I can go.


Quoting AlannaMaria:

 (hugs) I have noticed your replies in other posts for a while now and it doesn't seem like you are happy at all :( i don't know your situation but from what i gather from past posts your pretty unhappy... I don't really know what you should do. Maybe you need to go to marriage counseling or have a serious talk with him and tell him just how you feel and tell him if things don't change then you don't want to live like this anymore. I think you should try everything out there before you throw the towel in and end it. i'm sorry mama! good luck. life is to short to be unhappy and miserable.


 

findingserenity
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:49 PM
we had no definite plans, even the kids are surprises. but he knew I am serious about career.and when I got pregnant with our first and he was hospitalized for 4 days, I had to beg and ask people to give me a ride, I swore I will get my drivers license.marriage turned sour then bitter and now, I feel trapped.


Quoting sophiex:

What were your plans as a couple when you got married? Did he want you to be a stay-at-home mom? Can he provide for you and the kids? If you guys didn't have an agreement before marriage and if you need to work to help with the income I don't see a reason for him to not be supportive. I really don't get the part about the driver's license. Give him some solid reasons to make him realize you need it. I can't imagine having kids and not be able to drive them somewhere in case of emergency!


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findingserenity
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:52 PM
he knew ive nowhere to go plus I cant drive.how can an 8 month pregnant woman with a 1 yo son manage all by herself?im a.foreigner with no other family here in america


Quoting AlannaMaria:

 sounds like he doesn't care, and doesn't want to try and fix your marriage.. maybe thats what you should do and i bet he will be begging you to come back home. He sounds mean!


Quoting findingserenity:

he told me the door is open, that if im that miserable, I can go.



Quoting AlannaMaria:


 (hugs) I have noticed your replies in other posts for a while now and it doesn't seem like you are happy at all :( i don't know your situation but from what i gather from past posts your pretty unhappy... I don't really know what you should do. Maybe you need to go to marriage counseling or have a serious talk with him and tell him just how you feel and tell him if things don't change then you don't want to live like this anymore. I think you should try everything out there before you throw the towel in and end it. i'm sorry mama! good luck. life is to short to be unhappy and miserable.



 


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