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I need some respect and appreciation!!

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:14 PM
  • 15 Replies
Idk what is going on with my marriage, but it's going Downhill. My DH has lost all respect for me. I'm not sure why. I haven't done anything big, i am not an asshole to him....but he doesn't appreciate me. I am a SAHM and housewife. I do everything expected of me plus more. I don't try to control him. I just want a little help every once in a while and a break maybe once a week. Just an hour or two to myself. He talks down to me in a negative tone all the time. Puts me down even in front of friends and family. Insults me. Idk what to do. Any time I bring it to his attention he thinks I'm nagging or bitching. Idont want to NOT say anythin and let him thinks it's ok. He tell me in turning into a crazy feminist any time I try to stick up for myself :(
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by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BV88
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:16 PM
Oh my. I'm sorry :( Have you tried counseling? Will he go for that?
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Mommajub
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:19 PM

Sorry things are so bad for you right now! I would suggest counseling as well! *HUGS*

menmy2lilmen
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:25 PM

Its sounds like you two need to talk. If he is willing that is. He just maybe stressed out and although not fair taking it out on you. 


suziq1982
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:28 PM

I am sorry. I do not know what to tell you. Counseling will work if he will admit there is a problem and is willing to work on it. Maybe he is going through something and he is taking it out on you.

Anryan
by Platinum Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:30 PM

Girl, you know me, i am all about communication.  However, the other party has to be willing to effectively communicate as well. Is he?  Is there a way to present your thoughts/feelings/needs that won't make him instantly defensive? Something along the lines of asking him if there is something going on?  Something like "lately you seem...." etc.  Something to get him to open up an talk and to then slowly discuss your issues.  Just a thought, wish i could be more help


Anryan


Mommylilboy
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:38 PM
Im sorry to hear that i would say have the talk about what your marriage is coming to and if hes not up for that he is not worth your time if i may say so. May god bless u n ur loved ones i will keep u in my prayers ^_^
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ImOutNumbered
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:07 PM

well may not be the most positive sounding reply , but i mean it with absolutely no harm, disrespect or blaintness towards you by any means . with that said. Me and my DH have been on the rockyest patch we ever hit in the 7 + yrs we been together . for a long time we both were just crazy for each other n constantly showed affection mutually. then babys came . i turned into SAHM n DH turned into our supporter . My dh also did several things daily as it was just who he was that got under my skin n i began questioning if marriage was the right move as ii was no longer feeling the passion i once did . He was clearly blind to my distancing myself n lack of showing the affection i once did . I finally got to the point i just wanted out , , n he caught me checking out my options the beginning of this yr . I have since treated him just as your husband Seems to be treating you , any my Husband treats me just as you treat yours .  So not saying our situation is a mirror of your own . but dont let yourself be blinded by love n feelings that were once there.  My hubby never really lost his spark n therefore was apparently Oblivious to my new mood , N still to this day fights to believe it .   Sometimes Love Fades regardless how good of a person some one is to their Special other . Sometimes that spark comes back when the one being Weak n selfish realises just what they had , n some people just need let go to get treated badly a few times b4 they realise they had a good thing n didnt even know it , or care enough to make it work , 

Also if you havn't already , perhaps talking with his parents or friends when he isnt around will give you some more insight as to why he is showing this type of  plain mean n mentally abusive behaviors .

Best wishes to you n your family  

Djsgurltx
by on Aug. 20, 2011 at 12:08 AM
Im going through the exact same thing.. My man gets in a bad mood then im the worst thing thats ever happened to him. He calls me out of my name and everything.. Makes me feel ugly and unwanted. So now im starting to do the same shit to him. I make him feel like a bum and a coward for talking like that to me. I say hes quick to act like that towards me but not a dude.. He gets madder but oh well.. I started disrespecting him to the fullest even calling him a b*** and i hurt his feelings really bad one time. I cared but acted as if i didnt.
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Djsgurltx
by on Aug. 20, 2011 at 12:09 AM
So he didnt like a dose of his own medicine. Now he appreciates me more.. We dnt talk like that to each other that much anymore.. Especially when i threatened to leave
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Djsgurltx
by on Aug. 20, 2011 at 12:14 AM
Wow i never looked at it like that. Maybe b cus my man always came to me after a fight like that and tell me he was sorry and he didnt mean it. Just mad.. He would always tell me that im not those things he said and that he loved me very much.. We got through that.. So idk everyones different


Quoting ImOutNumbered:

well may not be the most positive sounding reply , but i mean it with absolutely no harm, disrespect or blaintness towards you by any means . with that said. Me and my DH have been on the rockyest patch we ever hit in the 7 + yrs we been together . for a long time we both were just crazy for each other n constantly showed affection mutually. then babys came . i turned into SAHM n DH turned into our supporter . My dh also did several things daily as it was just who he was that got under my skin n i began questioning if marriage was the right move as ii was no longer feeling the passion i once did . He was clearly blind to my distancing myself n lack of showing the affection i once did . I finally got to the point i just wanted out , , n he caught me checking out my options the beginning of this yr . I have since treated him just as your husband Seems to be treating you , any my Husband treats me just as you treat yours .  So not saying our situation is a mirror of your own . but dont let yourself be blinded by love n feelings that were once there.  My hubby never really lost his spark n therefore was apparently Oblivious to my new mood , N still to this day fights to believe it .   Sometimes Love Fades regardless how good of a person some one is to their Special other . Sometimes that spark comes back when the one being Weak n selfish realises just what they had , n some people just need let go to get treated badly a few times b4 they realise they had a good thing n didnt even know it , or care enough to make it work , 


Also if you havn't already , perhaps talking with his parents or friends when he isnt around will give you some more insight as to why he is showing this type of  plain mean n mentally abusive behaviors .


Best wishes to you n your family  


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