• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I a bad wife?

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:08 AM
  • 21 Replies

To make a long story short, I was upset yesterday because I thought my husband was on his way home after work. This is 40 min after his shift by the way. He only works 15 min away. Well 2 hrs later is when he finally walked in the door. He said he had to go back to work but couldn't take the time to call me & let me know. He's been acting a little strange lately but I figured it was cause he's been working lot's of hours. I don't complain usually and I never bother him at work. I don't think a phone call is too much to ask but he makes it seem like I've been on his ass constantly. I'm a sahm & he and I spent every hr of everyday together til he got this job a couple months ago. I asked him to give me a break cause I'm kinda lonely and not really used to being away from him. I don't really have any friends because of him and the only only person I talk to is mom over the phone. She lives 1000 miles away. Last night he took off on me and said he was on his way home but never showed. Didn't hear from him til this morning. I'm hurt, po'ed and about ready to walk, but have no where to go. I love him more than anything. Any advice?

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:08 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
momaof8
by Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:12 AM

you need some friends. Join a book club find somethig in your area a church you like build something for yourself.  are these extra hours reflected in his checks?

knightymama
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:16 AM

I couldn't tell you if the extra hours are reflected in his checks. His company pay's by debit card. We never see a check stub.

_Mrs.H_
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:17 AM

 I agree try to start making some friends.  Check out mom groups in your area!

If this just started happening and he was acting shady I would be a little suspicious.  Sit him down and share you thoughts and feelings.

momaof8
by Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:18 AM

well is he making alot more?  With his taking off last night and odd hours combined with his isolating you I would start to see red flags.

biancalina20
by Bianca Lina on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:22 AM
This

Quoting momaof8:

well is he making alot more?  With his taking off last night and odd hours combined with his isolating you I would start to see red flags.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
alexsmomaubrys2
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:22 AM

It isn't unreasonable to ask for a phone call. My DH calls if he is going to be late.

I would be a little suspicious though, it seems very odd that he is acting this way and if it were my husband, I wouldn't be tolerating it at all.

Join me in Moms for Education
Moms for Education

"Oppression of spirit is not on
the public school curriculum. Rather, it's a noxious by-product produced
while stewing schooling in a pot w/ unions, administrators,
multi-billion dollar budgets, state education departments, and school
boards, then letting politicians control the heat." Linda Dobson

"When you want to teach
children to think, you begin by treating them seriously when they are
little, giving them responsibilities, talking to them candidly,
providing privacy and solitude for them, and making them readers and
thinkers of significant thoughts from the beginning. That's *if* you
want to teach them to think." ~ Bertrand Russell

worcgrl20
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:22 AM

uhhhh.. that is NOT okay ever! and no you aren't a bad wife i understand what you are saying im a sahm too and im still adjusting to things you get lonely and want his attention.. there is nothing wrong with him calling and saying "hey hun, running a little late see ya in a few"  

I think you both need to sit down and have a conversation.. and yes you need some friends.. and something to do outside of being a mom and wife.. 

 

dingysfamily
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:25 AM

Debit card!! Never heard of that.  Is that something he told you or what?  I'd be calling the home office or something. Even if it is a debit card, any overtime still would show up by way of higher amounts on the debit card.  But, come the end of the year ... or end of Jan 2012 when W2's come out, yow will know; no way can they get around giving him a W2 for tax purposes!  If my dh was on his way home and then didn't show up I'd be worrying myself crazy and if I found out later he'd just gone drinking, or whatever he 'chose to tell me', I'd be going off like a nut case on him.  I don't care who he is, he wouldn't be doing that to me and getting away with it without hearing about it!!!  I'd expect no less of my dh either if I were to do it to him.   Just what the heck would make you think you did something to be the bad guy here?

Quoting knightymama:

I couldn't tell you if the extra hours are reflected in his checks. His company pay's by debit card. We never see a check stub.

 

pixiemom4
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:30 AM
Yikes RED FLAG.... not coming home at all last night NO WAY !!! Working extra unexplained hours, and not telling you.. I'd do a little snooping check cell phone records, emails, and even call him at his work when he is "late"... When my ex husband started acting like this there was a reason, and it's the same reason he is an EX husband LOL
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
worcgrl20
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:33 AM

i know some places do it that way here its kind of stupid but you still get a stub.. 

Quoting dingysfamily:

Debit card!! Never heard of that.  Is that something he told you or what?  I'd be calling the home office or something. Even if it is a debit card, any overtime still would show up by way of higher amounts on the debit card.  But, come the end of the year ... or end of Jan 2012 when W2's come out, yow will know; no way can they get around giving him a W2 for tax purposes!  If my dh was on his way home and then didn't show up I'd be worrying myself crazy and if I found out later he'd just gone drinking, or whatever he 'chose to tell me', I'd be going off like a nut case on him.  I don't care who he is, he wouldn't be doing that to me and getting away with it without hearing about it!!!  I'd expect no less of my dh either if I were to do it to him.   Just what the heck would make you think you did something to be the bad guy here?

Quoting knightymama:

I couldn't tell you if the extra hours are reflected in his checks. His company pay's by debit card. We never see a check stub.

 


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)