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So frustrated

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:54 PM
  • 8 Replies

Okay so my hubby is great, I love him to death but the one thing that truly frustrates me is his lack of communication. Whenever he's upset he won't talk about it!! If I upset him he just closes up and treats me and everyone else like crap until we're all in a bad mood. He came home yesterday in one of these moods and I have no clue why, he walked in took off his shoes and went straight to the computer, no hi, no kiss nothing. So I got up and went in there and said "hey you're not gonna say hi or kiss me?" so he gave me a quick kiss and went back to the computer. I decided that I was going to do my best to not let it get to me (which it has). So this morning I woke up hoping he's gotten over whatever it is, nope I jump on facebook to see he's been posting depressing status's which pisses me off even more because I now have nosey friends wanting to know what's going on. Like seriously how hard is it to just talk to me about it, I've never yelled or gotten mad at him I always try to be patient when he's upset yet he still prefers to make me upset to the point of breaking then lets it out (usually around midnight he'll sit up in bed, sigh loudly, and say "can we talk" which pisses me off more then anything). I don't know what to do anymore it's so frustrating and I hate walking around going "what did I do now?" Any advice would be great


by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:54 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Mama2ETA
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:57 PM

my only advice is to tell him you'll listen and not talk whenever he's ready to talk to you, but you have to keep that promise, dont talk

worcgrl20
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:03 PM

Tell him that if he doesn't want to talk then thats fine but until he does talk to you then he has no right to treat you like crap.. my dh is like this sometimes i mean he just clams up and doesn't say anything til days later when i know something has been off for days i hate that.. if you don't want to tell me thats fine just say "yes i have something on my mind and no im not ready to talk about it" i hope he opens up to you soon!

felicity9000
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:05 PM

We've tried this, and I'm not a confrontational person so I normally won't say anything while he vents anyways, I just wish he'd open up instead of hold it in.

Quoting Mama2ETA:

my only advice is to tell him you'll listen and not talk whenever he's ready to talk to you, but you have to keep that promise, dont talk


felicity9000
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:06 PM

Exactly! If he at least said "i had a bad day and I don't wanna talk about it" or "I have alot of things on my mind" or something to that extent I would understand, but don't make me feel bad for something I don't even know what it is I did!

Quoting worcgrl20:

Tell him that if he doesn't want to talk then thats fine but until he does talk to you then he has no right to treat you like crap.. my dh is like this sometimes i mean he just clams up and doesn't say anything til days later when i know something has been off for days i hate that.. if you don't want to tell me thats fine just say "yes i have something on my mind and no im not ready to talk about it" i hope he opens up to you soon!


Mama2ETA
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:11 PM

My DH does this sometimes too to take the stress off of me, especially when there's something going on at work. When he finally tells me, after he's done, I explan to him that we are a family and I deserve to know these things too becsause it effects my life, and I have the right to decide if I should be stressed or not. Maybe he's trying to protect you from getting hurt not really realizing how badly he's hurting you because he only is seeing frustration?

busy_mama27
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:21 PM

It sounds like his coping skills are a little.. elementary.  The best thing you can probably do is let him know you are available and do everything in your power to not let it affect you.. which I am sure feels impossible. 

AlannaMaria
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:25 PM
i agree!
Quoting busy_mama27:

It sounds like his coping skills are a little.. elementary.  The best thing you can probably do is let him know you are available and do everything in your power to not let it affect you.. which I am sure feels impossible. 

mghtymffn
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:32 PM

my hubby can get like that sometimes...............i have learned when he is like to be super nice to him, i will ask what is wrong and normally he will say nothing or tell ya later.............i occupy my time until he decides to let me know.

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