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i want more babies!!!!

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:02 PM
  • 9 Replies

okay ladies...some of you know my previous posts about having my iud removed for different birthcontrol. Well now is a bigger issue. The iud has been causing my diseas to worsen (colitis) and has been very painful at time during sex and nasty cramping and constant urinary tract infections and other infections. Well I feel like my husband is being an asshole. He married me knowing I wanted kids, and I married him knowing he wasn't sure if he wanted any more. He doesn't want me on the pills becuase he doesn't trust them (i'm guessing its me he doesn't trust bc his ex "accidentally forgot to take them and they made my stepson that way) and I said "well what do you want me on then?" and he told me to get fixed. I was soo freaken blown away! I shot right back at him "well then you get fixed, i'm not having them cut open my body and take several months to heal and perhaps not fully heal from it and they can just snip you!" and he said to me that he doesn't want to becuase it causes problem in a man..tell me...what the eff does is cause besides 6 effin weeks to fully heal? Your wife who cannot heal fast and constantly gets infections from a low immune problem and being cut up and costing much more...I'm jsut so hurt from him...he said he doesn't want any more kids, partially becuase he doesn't want to taake the attention away from his son, and now I'm here..feeling beyond hurt that he won't even have a baby with me knowing i wanted one in the future. This is a huge issue in our marraige. I get so depressed about babies. I have a 6 year old, but I wanted at least one more. We are in normal position to have another child, we are not hurting on money, we eat well, we dont' overspend...I just don't know what to do and my heart achs soo much..all my other friends are having their second kids and they are younger than me. I just don't know what to do anymore b/c its causing a lot of tension in our marraige... :( so now i'm sleeping on the couch tonight upset. He will hold this against me and another arugument about babies will happen again

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:02 PM
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Replies (1-9):
dragonlady320
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:05 PM

 :( what he said is mean

akgraff
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:08 PM

he never thinks he says is mean...that's also the problem...

Dragonmamas
by Ruby Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 9:23 AM
Ick. Tell him to do his research, it's not a quick and simple snip. I don't know, mama. I understand it's hard on you, but you can't make him change his mind. I hope things work out.
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worcgrl20
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 10:00 AM

my dh and i decided that me getting my tubes tied was out of the question i had already had a c-section with my first and i wanted to try a normal delivery with our second ( and i did ) it is not an easy recovery and your right it does cost more.. a V is the cost of a docs visit ( at least here it is) is your 6 yr old with him? why doesn't he want anymore? maybe if you guys sit down and talk about why each of you have the opinion you do it'll help both you understand and maybe can come to a decision your both happy with

sktrowb
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 10:05 AM
My hubby and I agreed he was getting snipped and we agreed on 2 kids so idnk what to help u
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akgraff
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 3:39 PM

my 6 year old isn't his. We don't have a child together. The only raeson is he doesn't want to have to change poopy diapers or stay up at night or take time away from his 9 year old we see every other weekend. I know I can't change his mind already, but He can't change mine as well and he doesn't realize the risks a woman takes when she gets snipped

AlannaMaria
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 5:21 PM

 good luck mama..(hugs)

Quoting Dragonmamas:

Ick. Tell him to do his research, it's not a quick and simple snip. I don't know, mama. I understand it's hard on you, but you can't make him change his mind. I hope things work out.

 

suziq1982
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 5:51 PM

I think what he said is mean. If he is so dead set on getting no more kids then he needs to be the one getting fixed. I am sorry I hope that all works out for you.

Krysden
by Platinum Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 6:17 PM

I'm sorry you are having to deal with that.  Did he happen to have any idea what sorts of problems he thinks it causes a man?  Dh is getting a vasectomy soon because the risks are less, the cost is less and it just make more sense all the way around.   Good Luck with everything.

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