See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
I need some advice....
My husband was married before to a real wacko. She cheated and used him and all kinds of stuff. She still does it to their kids and family. My problem is....he is incredibly insecure. I mean really bad. I've never given him a reason to believe that I would cheat. We fight constantly about his behavior ( i really think he has ocpd) and we've been to 3 different marriage counslers. He's always asked me who I talked to that day and if I got any phone calls but I recently started school this fall and its gotten worse. Hes constantly asking if I talked to any guys, sat by any guys or looked at any guys. He's even gone as far to call me restricted and leave me messages acting like someone else. But yesterday crossed the line. I walked out to my car after class and was on the phone with him. I looked and saw that there was a piece of paper under my wiper. It said " My Name....I'm looking forward to seeing you in class this week. Have a great week! -J"
I immediately freaked out. I told my husband and he started asking the usual questions; did you talk to any guys, look at any guys, park by anyone different...blah blah blah. I told him the usual response which is always no. I told him i was worried and it was weird how they knew my name, knew the correct way to spell it, knew what car was mine, and knew when i'd be in class. I didnt say anything else last night but I had a slight feeling it was him, even though he said it wasnt. Exspecially when he started being all lovey dovey and thanking me for telling him and how much he trusted me and loved me. Today I got to thinking though and I called him and told him I was calling the campus security and having them check the cameras to see who it was because I was scared bc I walk by myself. He said "yeah thats a good idea". So I hung up and called my friend who works in admissions and told her I thought it was him and she said to call him and ask him if it was him again bc if not we had to get the cops involved. I called him. His response was "what are they going to do, arrest me for putting a note on my wifes car?" A note not signed by him. I told him I needed to know for sure if he did it bc I was freaked out. He told me he did it and laughed about it! I told him it was f'ed up and I was really upset about it and hung up. I could see him doing it and then right after I told him about it saying"yeah hunny I did it to see if you would tell me" which would still be messed up but not as bad as letting it go for a whole day, me getting really upset about it, and me getting other people involved. He now is in his defensive mode. Putting all the blame on me to make him look like the good guy. I dont know what to do. I know this is not normal but has anyone gone through this? And what do I do about it? I've considered divorce because of it and all kinds of other crazy stuff but I love him too much. Please help!