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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Venting About Trust Issues And Why I Feel Like I'm CRAZY!!

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 11:33 PM
  • 6 Replies

I left my ex about 2 months ago because I found out he was cheating and I did have trust issues before we ever even met but I met a brand new guy who seriously is the greatest to me! He treats me like a woman should be treated. Well, he lives 2 hours away (for now) and whenever I go out with friends, he doesnt fuss at all. I can do what I want as I please and it's something that I'm not used of because of my previous relationships. Well, it's his turn to go out and actually have fun with his family and friends at the bar and I'm going crazy due to these trust issues! I talked to him about it earlier and he says,'if i wanted to fuck other girls, I would have already. It isn't what I want; you are what I want", so thats fine and I do believe him but my anxiety is going crazy right now! Anyone got any advice for me so I can get through this trust issue thing? I'm so worried and it isn't even bad...he's been texting me half the night. 

by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 11:33 PM
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Replies (1-6):
MOM3026
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 11:41 PM
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I know it is easier said than done but just relax. While he is out with  friends and has been texting you dont worry about it. Just find something to do while he is out. Maybe next time, while he is out you get a few girls and go out, or go to dinner and a movie with a few friends, distract your mind from what he may or may not be doing while he is out. That way your mind won't be going crazy. Allow him to prove to you how truthful he is and how he means it. Just relax as much as you can and distract yourself when he does go out with friends.

Rain613
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 11:51 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree it is easier said than done, but you can't carry all those feelings into a new relationship. You have to give him the chance to prove to you that he's nothing like that. Trust is a risk we have to take for love.!! I hope everything works out for :)

Alyson121
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 11:54 PM
2 moms liked this

Is there anyway you can take a break from being in a relationship with others until you can work on yourself?  Have you every tried to deeply examine the root cause of why you feel afraid?

CandieGirl09
by on Nov. 19, 2011 at 12:07 AM
2 moms liked this

He goes to work in acouple weeks for a month and won't have time to have Any fun so this is his time to go have fun before he leaves. I am so over these mixed emotions that fill my brain with BS and I will do what you guys are saying and I do need to RELAX because he isn't a player or anything like that... I will try my best to RELAX....which is something I rarely ever do, being a mom and all :) Thank you all <3

MOM3026
by on Nov. 19, 2011 at 12:47 AM
1 mom liked this

It will be hard at first, but at least you are trying and he will see that. He will see that you are trying and wanting it to work. In the end it will be all worth it. Just also remember to try to do (again easier said then done) is to remain positive, that not all guys are douchebags that cheat. There are amazing guys out there, yes hard to find and it only seems to be getting harder to find. Chivlary isn't dead because many men out there that are the good ones are still taught it. I know a few these days that are taught how to treat a woman right. But also those that have ever said the good guy always loses are wrong bc in the long run they win because nowadays more women want the good guy and not the bad guy, and maybe many still want the bad guy.

For example, I have a friend who is a great guy, he has chivlary, for we went grocery shopping and as we were walking back inside and I had the grocery bags after climbing out of his truck, he took them from me and carried them in for me, no they weren't heavy and yes I could have easily taken them in myself but it was nice to have a guy do that for me. My DH not so much in that department but he makes up for it by putting my needs and wants first. Making sure my happiness is first. Point being is that yes we are young, and chivlary hasn't quite died yet. I think it's changed over time, to keep up with the times, maybe not quite pulling out the chairs or standing when a lady stands or enters a room kind of thing, but maybe guys tending to the woman's needs more than just being I guess propper (if that is the right wording for it).

Getting off topic alittle bit, but point in being is that you know in your heart he is a good guy and that you know you can trust him, then do it. Allow yourself to trust him. Yes hard to do at first and will take a little time, but just allow him a chance to prove to you otherwise. If he blows it then its his own damn fault bc he will be missing out on a wonderful person.

CandieGirl09
by on Nov. 19, 2011 at 1:25 AM

Very True Mom3026. I know that he is a good guy so I need to accept that he is unless he proves otherwise. I texted him once and he texted me back as I don't want to interupt his fun and it is getting easier and easier to trust now. I can feel myself begin to relax as I sit here when before I was all tightened up and not sitting back, my back hurts from being so 'stressed' about this. You have some very good advice. Thanks Alot. <3

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