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I'm so ticked at my DH right now, I can't even stand to look at him...................

Posted by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 2:58 PM
  • 17 Replies

Okay so before I start ripping into him I want to say I think he is a good person, and I love him, and this is mostly just a vent..................

So on Thanksgiving I had a little too much to drink that night and the next morning I had to wake up super early and attend my Great Aunts funeral who was just tragically taken from us by a drunk driver.....I had a hangover and occasionally with hangover's I have bad panic attacks, I get them without hangover's too but it's usually worse when I have drank....(btw my kids weren't with me, they were at my MIL) I am generally an anxious worrisome person to begin with, my father and 2 sister's have the same issue's as me with anxiety......SO my husband knows this and in the wake of my aunt's death I couldn't stop thinking about death and I was just trembling with fear, heart racing, sweating just l couldn't stop thinking about my kids and the "what if's".....I expressed this with my husband and just said PLEASE help me, like him giving me a chance to chill, help with the kids when they got home, clean up the mess in the kitchen from pie making and so forth.....didn't do a damn thing to help take even just a little pressure off my shoulders.....he simply didn't speak to me, sat on the couch then went to bed.....I couldn't sleep last night stayed up all night and when the sun came up I was finally becoming calm enough to sleep.....well, he doesn't get out of bed, instead, he kicked the dog out who had shit all over our bedroom, didn't clean it up and went back to sleep untill 11!!!!! I had to do everything and now I am just fuming.....I am afraid if I speak to him right now I will just start a fight because I am so mad...............*sigh* any advice ladies?

by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 2:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
notjstasocermom
by Silver Member on Nov. 26, 2011 at 3:05 PM

when you said help me, where you specific? like i want help with the kids and cleaning when we get home?

calash
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 3:09 PM

Oh yeah, he knows.........it's not like it's the first time or anything....................

notjstasocermom
by Silver Member on Nov. 26, 2011 at 3:12 PM

so you were specific?

calash
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 3:16 PM

Yeah I said, honey can you please just clean up some of the mess in the kitchen (he also spilled a whole container of juice after I had just mopped), then I said don't worry about it I will mop again tomorrow can you please just clean up the pie mess?............................btw him and I both have a problem with procrastination BUT if he were pleading with me and had just attended a horribly emotional funeral of a dear family member, I think I would have gotten off my ass for him..............

crafthag
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 3:27 PM
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I can't see where he is at fault. You knew you had next day responsibilites, you knew you get this way after drinking, but still chose to drink. You're mad at him? I'm really confused.
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Gmgej
by Michele on Nov. 26, 2011 at 3:30 PM

Yes tell him. He is like this because you have allowed him to be like this. Give him direct instructions not hints. Men don't take hints they ignore them LOL sorry honey.

lilbitcrazed
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 3:31 PM

 Do you have a clue why he is ignoring your pleas for help? Is he angry that you drank a bit? Has your drinking ever become an issue? I can't fathom why he would shut you out like that when you were so vulnerable. The very least he could have done was to take some of the pressure off of you while you were having such a hard time. And the dog pooping and sleeping thing?? That one blows my mind. I hope that you will be able to talk to him at some point and sort all of this out.

I don't want to over step here honey, but I do have some experience with what alcohol can do to your mental state. Especially if you already have issues with panic and anxiety. As your body tries to detox itself and your liver is processing it (a liver can only process 1 ounce of alcohol an hour) your system goes through a withdrawal, and this can cause anxiety. Not saying you are an alcoholic, absolutely not...but as we get older the processes are slower. I am just making you aware if you didn't already know so that you might avoid the extra panic that comes along with drinking.  Much luck with everything!

calash
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 3:46 PM
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It was HIS idea to have a few cocktails, it's not unusual for us to celebrate holiday's,  I don't have a drinking issue, I was pretty upset about my Aunt and perhaps was trying to keep myself distracted as to not be a bummer on Thanksgiving, since we celebrated at my in-laws, nobody there knew my Aunt.....the dog shit thing is what really set me off, how could you go back to sleep, it was right next the his side of the bed too!! I don't know what his problem is, shit maybe he's having an affair...........I don't have panic attacks every time I have a few drinks, just to clear that up, I had no idea the funeral was going to be that intense, to be honest I'm still shaken up from it and trying not to cry, I can't get the image of my dearest cousin collapsing in sorrow and her sobbing out of my head, my heart is broken for her the most.......IDK maybe he is mad at me for something else..........I'm just going to have a heart to heart with him when I have calmed down a bit...........

crafthag
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 4:15 PM
Perhaps he is also very upset about what happened to your aunt.
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Turtledoves
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 4:47 PM
I understand. I would have been upset too. He knew you needed him and he ignored it anyway. I'd be hurt.
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