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Just not into it anymore =(

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:10 AM
  • 7 Replies

Hi Ladies!

This is my first post in here so I should introduce myself... I'm Caitie! I am 23 years old and I have a 3.5 yr old son (Alex). One month from tomorrow is my 1st wedding anniversary... which is also 5 years since the day we started dating- we got married on our 4th anniversary. Yes, for those of you doing the math we got pregnant pretty soon into our relationship and no... that wasn't the plan. It caused a lot of hardships for us but we have made it through. And we are stronger than we have ever been. We are actually talking about trying for another baby!

So.... why am I not attracted to my husband anymore? For the first time in our relationship... we are happy. We are both truly happy. We have finally learned to communicate and cooperate. We have both learned our 'place' in this team & truly enjoy our time together. For the first time... we both WANT to be here. We aren't just together because we got pregnant after 6 months. (Sad but true.)

But I'm just not into it anymore. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!?! I always have an excuse: I'm tired. I have to get up early. Not tonight. Etc... We live in a small one bedroom and I feel like that could be most of it. I don't feel like I can relax anywhere in my own home! I don't have my own "room"- we have our bed in the dining room area so our son can have his own room. (It makes bedtime a little easier and... there wasn't exactly much privacy when I was 2 feet away from him LOL!)

It just makes me so sad. It's so unfair to him. He doesn't deserve it. Plus, we're 'trying' to have a baby... how can we if we aren't TRYING!?

Has anyone gone thru this? I feel like there's something terribly wrong with me! AND I HATE IT! I really do love him and WANT him (& another baby) ... so why am I not in the mood?!

Help?

-Caitie

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:10 AM
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Replies (1-7):
deux_fleurs
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:12 AM
3 moms liked this

The best advice I can give is that the more you have sex the more you crave it. You need to jumpstart those hormones!

Mrs_Szontagh
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:15 AM

Never thought of it that way haha!

4kings1queen
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:19 AM
There isnt a thing wrong with you. I think you're thinking about the long haul.
Mrs_Szontagh
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:23 AM

I have just never had a place I felt was MINE to feel 100% comfortable in. Let me explain- my husband is the only man I have ever been with. I was VERY shy when I got with him. He was my first boyfriend! We dated almost 6 months before having sex then got pregnant within 3 months! So our relatipnship was 'a little' rushed. And we have always lived WITH room-mates, our our parents... we finally get our own place but sharing a room with your son doesn't allow much privacy. I keep hoping it will be better when we move but making him wait 3 more months just isn't fair. I have got to get over this crap =[

shadow_lark
by Silver Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:25 AM
1 mom liked this

I wasnt exactly like that, but for a while I felt absolutely nothing.  Then i started having panic attacks and shortly after quit using the bc i was on.  I havent had a problem since then.  I dont suppose you are on bc though, since you are ttc.  Do you get to go out and do anything by yourself?  Also remember, relationships go through ups and downs, some of them pretty extreme, seemingly without reason; this could be one of those down times that will resolve soon.  It could also be some subconcious fear of having a second child, or some small part of you wondering if maybe you settled and got married for the wrong reason?  IDK...I hope you can figure out something soon.  GL

Monsita
by Silver Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:51 AM

in loveI think that you are wondering if you are going too fast with the FAMILY THING = MORE KIDS....and therefore, you are not REALLY TURN ON BY IT! 

Nattiesmom10
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:57 AM
Do u take BC. When I take it I have no interest in sex at all. I don't even want to think about it. When I'm not on it I'm like a totally different person I can't get enough. If ur gonna try for a baby quit taking it & see if it helps.....if not try to find another method something non hormonal.
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