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My husband Insults me while I am cooking dinner.........

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:12 PM
  • 11 Replies

I am convinced that people bring their messed up family upbringing into their marriages even if they don't think they do. My husband's father is a heavey and was abusive w/ my husband when he was growing up, my husband could not make a move, or else. I am finding now that i see the disrespect i have witnessed between his parents creep into our marriage. I don't think he understands how messed up he acts, but i guess is your parents disrespected eachother, you are gonna repeat it if you are a moron. Good thing i went to mass today and have the Lord in my life. I also have a helpful therapist. How would you approach a spouse who continues to do this??? 

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sarcasimom
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:22 PM

Wouldn't he have shown you that side of him before now? I don't know how long you've been married but I'm guessing you would have known how he was before you married him. 

If I was having issues in my marriage, I would go to couples counseling. 

Gmgej
by Michele on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:22 PM
3 moms liked this

If my dh was insulting me I would plain and simple tell him to stop. I am not a wife who mixes words, I speak plainly, so there is never a question of what I am not happy with.

Giger55
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Throw the food in his face & tell him to cook it his fuckin self!
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LindAngeLevi
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:24 PM
He needs to respect you and you need to let him know how you are feeling. If you don't I have a feeling it will progress.
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Anryan
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:29 PM


Quoting Breastfeedermom:

I am convinced that people bring their messed up family upbringing into their marriages even if they don't think they do. My husband's father is a heavey and was abusive w/ my husband when he was growing up, my husband could not make a move, or else. I am finding now that i see the disrespect i have witnessed between his parents creep into our marriage. I don't think he understands how messed up he acts, but i guess is your parents disrespected eachother,

i do think a lot of what we see growing up is mimicked in our behaviors and sometimes we don't realize it, or don't want to realize it.  My husband was sent away by his dad to his mom who didn't want him and put him in a group home.  I met him when he was 19..he was withdrawn, didn't celebrate any holidays and when we started raising our kids was cold, standoffish, etc.  All those things he didn't want to be. 

For us it was gentle coaxing, tons of talking talking and more talking in appropriate ways and at appropriate times, and then his willingness to learn from what is pointed out to him without taking offense.  It was a long long road but he is a very different, loving, wonderful father now with almost zero of those behaviors.  When one does creep in it is quick to remedy.

Good luck momma

Anryan

you are gonna repeat it if you are a moron. Good thing i went to mass today and have the Lord in my life. I also have a helpful therapist. How would you approach a spouse who continues to do this??? 


laurenb1
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:36 PM
I tell him how it is without flipping out
Due9
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:52 PM

I like your answer and I am the same way to my hubby. There is never any mistaking what I don't like or like.

Quoting Gmgej:

If my dh was insulting me I would plain and simple tell him to stop. I am not a wife who mixes words, I speak plainly, so there is never a question of what I am not happy with.


Dimples04
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:55 PM
I'd also talk to the therapist about the abuse he is putting your family through. Your children will learn his bad behavior too.

Quoting Gmgej:

If my dh was insulting me I would plain and simple tell him to stop. I am not a wife who mixes words, I speak plainly, so there is never a question of what I am not happy with.

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AlannaMaria
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:25 PM
Tell him how you feel or write him a letter. I would ask him to go talk to a therapist with you. Good luck!
2lilmamas
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:30 PM

 Just be honest and tell him how he's acting. Tell that you feel hurt and uncomfortable on how he is talking to you.

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