First and fore most, this is not a pity me post.
Here is some background. My husband and I lost our first child to Leukemia at 6 months old. We knew we didn't have long with Jakcob and so we had all of his firsts within the first 3 months. We had Thanksgiving and Christmas with husbands families (mom & dad), his aunts uncles and grandparents, and my side the same. We went to Disney, Grand Canyon, and to both the East, South, and West coast Oceans/Gulf. We wanted him to see the world as we had planned to do with him as he grew up! When Jakcob lived past his 3 month time line we rejoiced. He got sick a month later and as time faded away so did Jakcob. At 6 months, 3 days, and 15 hours Jakcob Ethan Passed. We were at a lost. This was 4 years ago. We now have a healthy daughter who is 18 months. We live every day to the fullest and take nothing for granite!
Tonight, my husband informed me that we needed to talk. We quietly sat on our bed staring waiting for someone to say something. Finally my husband said "I miss Jakcob." ummmm okay? I miss him too but we both know we still have him in our hearts and we have to move on. We have been to counselling and still go but for some reason tonight was difficult. He then informed me he wanted to get a norther tattoo (he has a bible verse on his side) that was FOR Jakcob. When Jakcob passed friends told us we should do this, we both said NO. Tattoos (we have nothing against them) are not for us. My husbands was from before we met and resembles his rocky past. I HATE the idea of it! He even got Jakcob's Foot Prints out of the Shadow box and traced them onto paper and planned out the whole thing!! All it is, is Jakcob's foot prints taking 8 steps and then one half step. Resembling 6 months, 3 days of life, plus half a day. I was heart broken. I didn't want to crust him. I just cried and told him I would think about it. He wants it on his back shoulder blade coming up his back.
I should also mention, we don't talk about Jakob to just anyone. He was and still is our everything. We take his death as a milestone and a way that our Lord has readed us for hardship. Yes, we hurt. Yes, we cry. Yes, we miss him. No, we don't post sad pictures on Facebook about how much we miss him. No, we don't carry a sad face around on his birthday or on the day of his Birth into the Fathers arms. We understand the Lord had a plan for Jakcob. That plan we do not know but one day we will.
Should I take offense to this??? What would you do if your husband told you he wanted to get a tatoo that you didn't necessarilly approve of??