How do you think society views marriage today verse 20 years ago?
I am new here, and I am wondering especially for those who have been married over 10 years how do you feel society looks at marriage. My husband and I have been married over 20 years, we have 5 kids (3 adopted, 2 natural). When we got married we were seen as one person in most areas. We could both call on the utilities, I could use a card with his name on it as long as our last names matched (but so could teens, my parents gave my younger brother their credit card when he went to LA with school for things he needed). I grew up basic middle class, do did Dh. Yesterday I was at the store and had the debit card with his name on it, it was declined. My husband works over 80 hours a week on the low end, its been like this forever. I was just told by my bank that I cannot call on his debit card, and they view us as seperate completely. I was always taught that when you are married you are equal in everything. Everything is ours, and I know today the country views this differently. I just dont understand why? I asked if I could have my husband who asked me to call in the first place call and say they could talk to me and the guy told me no. That we were seperate. Now back in 1994 when we decided to add a savings account onto our checking I went into the bank, and filled out the paperwork, they put Dhs SS# down because it was the one on our checking, and nobody said anything. I signed my name on the paper and it was done. I know there is alot of idenitiy fruad out there, but I was just calling to see why the card didnt work, and was told they cant even tell me if when Dh goes to buy dinner tonight if it will work. A simple yes it will work, or no that card has been blocked.
Then I was also told basically that if Dh was to get robbed and was unconcious I couldnt cancel his card even then.
So my question is what is marriage to you when it comes to being equal. My feeling is my husband and I share a bank account, therefore I should be able to get any information about it at any time. If a couple doesnt like that they seperate banks accounts make sense.