my man... my kid

[mrm27]

Hi cafe moms... I hope you could give me your thoughts.

I am a widow - my husband died 7 years ago.  a yr after his death I found another man whom i spent my next six years.  My daughter grew with him and they love each other. 

Last week we decided to call it quits (we have been through this several times) and my daughter is really devastated.  

I hope you could give me suggestions on how to process my daughters feelings.  She even made a poem about men leaving her life.  Should I discuss this with my ex?

thanks guys :) 

[amyers_2010]

thats a hard one to answer. i mean if she looks up to him as a father figure then maybe you could discuss it with him and make it so that she is still a part of his life. thats assuming her real father is not in her life. she needs a good male role model in her life and if he's good for her then i wuld discuss it with him, and reassure her that she is loved no matter who is in her life, she will always have you.

[Faeta]

how old is she?

[MissElissa21]

Goodness! I have no advice, that's hard!

[LiesLiesLies]

This.

Quoting amyers_2010:

thats a hard one to answer. i mean if she looks up to him as a father figure then maybe you could discuss it with him and make it so that she is still a part of his life. thats assuming her real father is not in her life. she needs a good male role model in her life and if he's good for her then i wuld discuss it with him, and reassure her that she is loved no matter who is in her life, she will always have you.

[mrm27]

Thanks for sending me advise. 

Her biological father is dead. She grew up with my recent ex. I re-assure her that i will always be here. 

I have also told her she can still text or call him whenever she pleases and she could still see him if she wants. 

I am not yet ready to talk to my ex though.

[mrm27]

She is almost 11- her father died when she was 3. 

i was with his step dad when she was 4

[JennPearce]

:( oh wow. I'm sorry momma. If he is willing to remain in her life that would be great for her if possible.

[mrm27]

Hi thanks for the reply.

Im not sure if im ready to talk to the sd.  

I hope my daughter does not feel "unloved" since her sd left.

[Krysden]

Kids have a hard time processing things sometimes and when something like this happens, they often feel like it was somehow their fault.   You and he should probably talk to her, make sure she knows with certainty that she didn't do anything to cause this, that you two just had some issues that you couldn't work out and that it happens sometimes.   As long as he is been a part of her life, I hope he is planning to continue to be there for her.  Good Luck

[mrm27]

Hi Thanks for this.  

Quoting Krysden:

Kids have a hard time processing things sometimes and when something like this happens, they often feel like it was somehow their fault.   You and he should probably talk to her, make sure she knows with certainty that she didn't do anything to cause this, that you two just had some issues that you couldn't work out and that it happens sometimes.   As long as he is been a part of her life, I hope he is planning to continue to be there for her.  Good Luck