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Anyone have a gaming addicted husband who ignores you......

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 9:31 PM
  • 46 Replies

mine is ridiculous. And it's ruining our marriage. no amount of me talking seems to change his behavior. He says he'll work on it, but leaving your game for 10m to talk to me, then back to your game doesn't really do much for me. I've fallen out of love i guess. Not attracted to him. We were in the army for 4yrs now he's got 2 left in Reserves. I blame a lot on the army for causing the hard core front that he puts up. He was in Iraq for a year, and came back and i realised i changed completely. And he's still this immature dude that i don't find interesting anymore. We have nothing in common, we don't ever do anything together bc he doesn't feel like it, or it's a waste of money. Vacations are a waste of money, I suggested he take our son to a karate class for some quality time, but that isn't important to him, His words. He never helps with our kids, it's just all me all one sided. Everyone once in a while he'll hold her or play with her, but it's no more than 10m. then back to his xbox.  Just so aggravating & hurtful, Anyone been through this, what did you do, what happened? We've been together 11 yrs. almost 8yrs of marriage :( and let me say he's always played games and always been a loaner type person, not wanting to go anywhere or do anything. And before it didn't matter to me, and it just does now, I've grown up, i want to make fun memories with my kids, and do things and be happy. We start marriage counseling on tuesday. Valentines day...how ironic right?....any adivce  or thoughts???

by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 9:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
xo.MommyW.xo
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 9:32 PM
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No, because he wouldn't have a wife or a home if he were like that and wouldn't change
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Armywife25u
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 9:41 PM

i just don't know what else to do but leave. we are living 5hrs from our home town due to his college and his reserve unit, so i have no family here. I have a fantastic job, and this is my son's first year in school. I'm giving the marriage counseling a try, until school out, and then I'm going to leave, if the counseling doesn't help us resolve the issues. Does anyone ever feel like the man your with is bringing you down so low?? He's a good man, doesn't cheat doesn't abuse me, doesn't yell, or drink or smoke, or do  drugs doesn't go to strip clubs and make me feel like a P.O.S. or fat or anything like that. It's just this gaming issue. and him being so reclusive :( 

Bluetick
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Honestly i would tell him exactly how it is.....then id write "CHANGE OR LEAVE" ON a post it note and stick it to his game controller then i would write down the names and numbers of divorce attorneys and put it on the fridge... if nothing happened in 36 hours i would throw him out! Ps make sure to change the locks!
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Libby0510
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:22 PM

Mine was a Marine. He was addicted to a computer game. I was completely ignored. I served countless meals to the computer. It crushed me. I tried everything I could think of to bring him back to me. Nothing worked. He ended up having an affair with someone on his game. We ended up divorcing. I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I know how heartbreaking it is.

mandiNthomas
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:25 PM
I had to tell df just how I felt...its either me or the video games.. he didn't think id leave so he chose the ps3 and I left that night. He called me 30 minutes later said he would stop I stayed away for a couple days just to make him suffer for being an ass... weve been fine since, good luck hun!!!
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Kristanene
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:26 PM
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I used to have a husband like that.  I divorced his sorry behind and am now married to an absolutely wonderful man who loves my son like his own ( though DS also spends weekends with his bio dad who has finally taken his nose out of the game long enough to spend at least 2 days with his son) and treats me like I deserve to be treated.  We tried marriage counseling, but our relationship was already too far gone for it to work.  If you still have any love for him at all, I would say give it a good try.  But keep in mind that he might change for a little while..but the long-term is a lot harder!  I left my first husband for about a week, two years before our divorce, and came back only because he swore to change.  He did for about 3 or 4 months, and then things went right back to the way they'd always been.  Good luck, and I hope, unlike my ex, h

LetsDoThisTrish
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:28 PM
My husband is disabled due to a very bad work acciden that almost ended his life. We have three kids and hes a great dad and a great husband, but because hes unable to be the dominate breadwinner, he gets depressed. His frustration/anxiety outlet is his SkyRim PC game. I used to get frustrated by his amount of game playing but mostly because we lived in AZ 4 hours from my family, in the middle of nowhere,in the desert heat, I had no friends, no hobbies, nothing but internet chatrooms. But now that we moved to CA near family, friends, have a great church and I have plenty of my own distractions, its made our marriage much stronger because at the end of the day we both have something new to close our days with rather than me nagging. I always assumed men never had depressed and it was just us moms with all our demands and pressures, but in the 3 years my husband has been disabled and home and unable to do the typical man/dad/head of household role, its heartbreaking. So he has his outlet and Ive found my own.
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Faeta
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:48 PM
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good luck! My hubby works 40 to 90 hours a week. I dont mind when he plays games ( i sometimes do).

but i have hobbioes and things i like to do. I dont need to live my entire life glued to him.

if you love him, why force him to be different? Get a hobby, do what you want.

dont exactly do stuff to support long game time... Like if you make dinner, make his happy ass sit at a table with you.

if game time is done in moderation, it shouldnt cause problems.
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gods_girl333
by on Feb. 13, 2012 at 1:20 AM

I can't say I have been through this, but I can tell ya 2 things I have learned. The first one is a person, any person, never really realizes what they have until they lose it. My Ex taught me that one. The second thing is the army, and Iraq change a person, mostly for the worse. My brother taught me that.

Look, I am sure, after 11 years of relationship you aren't ready to give up on what you had. But, I understand you can't go on with they way it is. And I am SO glad you guys are getting some counselling. Don't give up. But, you gotta be firm in the demands, not only for yourself, but for your children too! Don't give up on those guns. If he loves you, and I bet he does, he will probably come around. I might also suggest you make him take you out to dinner. Engage him in talking about his game.... yes, because this shows that you aren't always nagging about that which he enjoys. But, don't stay there.

Good luck sweetie. It is difficult realizing things GOTTA change, and I hope they do for you.

alibrezzy154
by on Feb. 13, 2012 at 1:50 AM
1 mom liked this

nope not at all he works comes home helps me with dd and dinner we have family time then at around eight or nine we put dd down and he plays for a bit depending if he has work in the morning or not. dh also makes sure that the games he plays are short ie. dh doesn't play wow. he says it's too time consuming.

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