I'm having trouble with my so.... i keep fnding him on different dating sites and one by one i have been finding out about them. i think what he does, is when i find one and have a big serious talk with crying and everything, he deletes that site and finds another one. the first time i found one, it was 2 weeks before my due, my dd is now 10 weeks. and we had a bunch of arguments when got back together (we broke up for a month in a half n got back together when i found out i was prego) but we had to delete any dating sites we had while we were broken up, well when we were broke up, i put some money into one of the dating sites but i didnt intend on using it (since we are back together)... just wanted to let the membership run out and he kept making a hugh deal about it. so you can guess i was livid when i found the site he had made with all the bullcrap he gave me. and then his site even had updated pics and info... i.e he said he was a father and yet i was still carrying his child. He even had mail back and forth with some girl telling her how beautiful she was. they didnt talk about meeting or anything but theres a line with flirting.
His first excuse for plenty of fish site... i use it to connect with friends that dont have facebook and what not. but when i did more research found that he didnt know any of the girls he was talking too.
My yearbook... its just a popularity contest between friends. who can get more "girlfriends"
tru Match.... "one of the other dating site must have sent all of his info of to that site cause he doesnt use it.
And now i just found gotiton... which is a "Hooking up site" not dating. and i havent said anything to him about it yet and i joined the site to look at his profile but i have to pay money to do anything on the site, so i assume he paid money to do stuff too....
but im sick of saying anything just for him to make up excuses and i believe him for few days or until i find the next one. I'm a SAHM, and my dd and i dont really have anywhere to go at the moment. i dont want to end the relationship but im starting to feel like thats my only option.
wow. I'm not sure what to tell you...
other than give an ultimatum. tell him he better delete all the ones he has, and if you find another you're gone. you shouldn't have to deal with that.
I'm not sure why some men do that..my oldest brother was like this for awhile. I don't know if it's a lack of affection thing, if they like their egos stroked a little more or what...
but maybe try to find out the real reason as to why he's using them. all of those sound like bogus excuses.
HUGS!
Carlie: Blessed Wife to Jon (09.05.09) & Mamma to Jaxon (11.19.08) and Talon (12.01.11).
Proud Group Mod in: Love & Marriage and Pregnancy!
My hubs is still on the one we met at. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to have him on there, but he has it so that he is "only looking for friends." So we shall see. When I get a bit uncomfortable I could always make a fake account and set it up along the lines of the girls who he has also contacted and see if he will contact me, and see what happens from there... always letting him set the pace, so that he can't say I walked him into that situation.
You could do the same. Have proof that it isnt just a stroking of ego thing (I've been tempted myself, just to feel special by people wanting me... no wanting to actrually DO anything AT ALL with them) or if he is on the prowl. Good luck and know that whatever needs to happen WILL happen and with it it will lead to better things for you :)
I'd be very angry and upset. He sounds like he has a problem. No matter how many times you tell him to delete the websites, he'll sneak around and find more. Maybe couple's counselling? Also, I don't know anyone who joins dating websites to connect with friends.... That sounds like an excuse to "play the field" if you ask me. Dating websites are for people looking to date or hook up. Most people I know join Facebook or My Space to connect with friends. I hope things get better for you.
YOU CAN NEVER BUILD A FENCE HIGH ENOUGH TO KEEP SOMEONE FROM CHEATING.
I am so sorry my dh would never ever do this to me
Quoting SweetlySassy:
My hubs is still on the one we met at. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to have him on there, but he has it so that he is "only looking for friends." So we shall see. When I get a bit uncomfortable I could always make a fake account and set it up along the lines of the girls who he has also contacted and see if he will contact me, and see what happens from there... always letting him set the pace, so that he can't say I walked him into that situation.
You could do the same. Have proof that it isnt just a stroking of ego thing (I've been tempted myself, just to feel special by people wanting me... no wanting to actrually DO anything AT ALL with them) or if he is on the prowl. Good luck and know that whatever needs to happen WILL happen and with it it will lead to better things for you :)
uuummmm , i would say since he has done it so many times, even after you talked to him , he obviously has no respect for you (sorry not trying to be mean)
im sure if you asked a friend or a family member you can find some place to go
this is not healthy for you or you LO.
i hope you find a place to go im sorry you have to go through this , you deserve much better
id tell him either delete and leave them deleted or not be with you, thats what my DF did with me cause i liked to meet new people (not intended to get on dating sites i was on myyearbook didnt see it as one) but because i love my DF i deleted it never been on it since, sounds to me he likes it when u cry for him and stuff i wouldnt put up with it anymore
To me, this is cheating. I hate to tell mommas to get out of their relationships, but it might not be such a bad idea. I like the idea of giving him an ultimatum. Let him know it's you or the sites. He can't have both. You have to back it up though. If he chooses the dating sites, you need to be out of there - otherwise he'll know he can get away with it and he'll never stop. As far as not knowing where to go, if you don't have friends or family that can take you in for a few months until you can get your feet off the ground, I'd suggest a women's shelter. It's not ideal, but it's a place to stay until you and DD have the finances to get your own place. Good luck, momma
i doubt anyone can really help
- louise1212
on Feb. 17, 2012 at 9:19 AM