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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Open Marriage post had me thinking...* update *

Okay, I questioned a few people cuz I was curious.. In no way do I mean any disrespect toward anyone and I am just curious to how things work..

For those who are in open relationships, swingers, couples who engage in 3somes (mmf or ffm) and those in poly relationships..how does it work for u.. How do u allow urself to move past the jealousy? Do u ever feel he/she stays with u cuz u allow ur spouse the oppurtunity to have a relationship @ home but sex with more then u? And how does it work in ur relationship?


Seems perfect on paper but when u add emotion it goes to hell for most.

Okay my view/experience/thoughs...

When I was in college I had a b/f we had a 3some with his best friend (mmf) it was fun loved it!! I liked my bf cared for him but didn't love him so it was easy for us. My ex (father of daughter) always wanted a 3some (ffm) and I loved him and wouldn't do it, I just couldn't!! Until our relationship fell apart and I realized I didn't love him anymore is when I agreed to do one (he didn't know I didn't love him anymore-and was sticking to him cuz we had a kid, lasted 1 year loveless) ne-ways I realized that because my love was gone I was able to..(We didn't! No girl we both would b okay with) now that I'm deeply in love with my soul mate I couldn't even imagine making love to him with another women there and when we first started dating I brought it up. It's just not for him. So I'm secure in knowing he won't ever ask me or want it. I feel my love is too strong to let anyone into our love making... Not for me.. Tho I do dream of being with a women... Lol too bad my SO wouldn't allow a 1 on 1 session! Haha
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by on Feb. 22, 2012 at 8:31 AM
Replies (11-20):
proudmum23
by on Feb. 22, 2012 at 10:32 AM
This!

Quoting Thomasmom07:

I personally don't understand it and don't think it's something I would ever try. I love my dh and I know he loves me and would never leave me for another woman,but I am still jealous and don't want to share. My vows that I said when I got married I meant them. I guess it works for some people but I just personally done understand it!
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amanda_mom89
by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2012 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this
There are no guarantees in any relationship. To me, the risk that DH will leave me for someone else is no higher than someone in a closed marriage. I feel that is a false sense of security.

I trust that DH will not leave me because he loves me and we have a strong relationship.

My parents were married for 19 years when my dad left my mom for another woman. He has since married her. My parents had a closed, monogamous marriage. (Or at least my mom thought they did.)


Quoting freshmom88:

What if u start falling for the "other" person and they start interesting your more then your spouse. One can't say that would NEVER happen because you don't know!!!

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misslady80013
by on Feb. 22, 2012 at 10:59 AM
Yes! I feel the same way! I will share my candy or chips, but not my man!


Quoting Thomasmom07:

I personally don't understand it and don't think it's something I would ever try. I love my dh and I know he loves me and would never leave me for another woman,but I am still jealous and don't want to share. My vows that I said when I got married I meant them. I guess it works for some people but I just personally done understand it!

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Lexi76
by on Feb. 22, 2012 at 11:08 AM
2 moms liked this

This would never work for me. I am building a Godly relationship and we plan on keeping God in our relationship. Marriage by God’s design is the union of one man and one woman. Adultry is a sin and same-sex relations is a sin. 

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. (1 Corinthians 7:2)

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. (Hebrews 13:4)





Thomasmom07
by on Feb. 22, 2012 at 11:11 AM
Haha your lucky if I'll even share my candy or my chips :-P so I sure ain't sharing my man. What happened to being with the one person you married and only that person for you life? I guess call,me old fashion


Quoting misslady80013:

Yes! I feel the same way! I will share my candy or chips, but not my man!




Quoting Thomasmom07:

I personally don't understand it and don't think it's something I would ever try. I love my dh and I know he loves me and would never leave me for another woman,but I am still jealous and don't want to share. My vows that I said when I got married I meant them. I guess it works for some people but I just personally done understand it!


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purpleducky
by on Feb. 22, 2012 at 11:19 AM
The idea of being in a monogamous relationship is fairly new for humans. For most of human history one spouse had an extramarital affair and it was socially acceptable.

Quoting Thomasmom07:

Haha your lucky if I'll even share my candy or my chips :-P so I sure ain't sharing my man. What happened to being with the one person you married and only that person for you life? I guess call,me old fashion




Quoting misslady80013:

Yes! I feel the same way! I will share my candy or chips, but not my man!






Quoting Thomasmom07:

I personally don't understand it and don't think it's something I would ever try. I love my dh and I know he loves me and would never leave me for another woman,but I am still jealous and don't want to share. My vows that I said when I got married I meant them. I guess it works for some people but I just personally done understand it!


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thecoffeefairy
by on Feb. 22, 2012 at 11:25 AM
Since I am bisexual, it works. I get the best of both worlds and I have a huge sex drive. I can wear out both parties.
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emmiesmommy1113
by on Feb. 22, 2012 at 11:33 AM

I'm too jealous and far too territorial for any of that.

And I have no self esteem. And I don't think our marriage would be strong enough to handle something like that right now. Maybe not ever. Not with things that have gone on in the past. Things I'm starting to realize I will probably never get over.

2bkayleesmommy
by on Feb. 22, 2012 at 11:51 AM
1 mom liked this
What makes u so sure he'd cut off his ties with his g/f so easily as every day goes on they're building more and more emotions maybe falling in love with one another.


Quoting amanda_mom89:

My DH has a girlfriend. I am not jealous or worried he will leave. I learned from a wonderful lady in this group (Anryan) that my jealousy was a symptom of a need that was being met or a fear I had..etc.



I did experience some jealousy at first but realized that I just hadn't had enough quality time with DH because of our work schedules. When all of my needs and wants are met I don't feel jealous of the time they spend together.



No, I do not feel that he stays with me because of my acceptance of this lifestyle. If I decided tomorrow that I was not ok with this and wanted a closed marriage then that's what DH would do. We only recently began this adventure. He loves me and has a family with me.



I've made a lot of replies in the other post but if there's something else you'd like to know I'll be happy to answer it again.


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2bkayleesmommy
by on Feb. 22, 2012 at 11:54 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't even share my candy! Ha


Quoting misslady80013:

Yes! I feel the same way! I will share my candy or chips, but not my man!




Quoting Thomasmom07:

I personally don't understand it and don't think it's something I would ever try. I love my dh and I know he loves me and would never leave me for another woman,but I am still jealous and don't want to share. My vows that I said when I got married I meant them. I guess it works for some people but I just personally done understand it!


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