Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Someone to vent to - need others thoughts please

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 9:03 AM
  • 22 Replies

Not feeling good about having to resort to posting about my life to get advise but think I may go crazy if I dont.

I am 36, have been married for 12 years, we have a 6 and 8 year old girls.  I work 28 hrs a week, my husband works full time. 

I am as involved at the girls school as I can be, I take them to all parties extra activites etc.

I know that I have faults, many of them.  I do not keep a perfect house, laundry is always behind, and you can always find many things that need done.

Here's my sitiation that happened last night.

I was invited to a girls night with oher mothers.  I told my husband I would not go so that he could go hunt in the morning, since he cant sleep when I am out, because I have over induldged in the past so he worries about me.  He doesnt get out much with friends so I chose to stay home.

After spendinf the entire day working on kid orriented things then spending tree hours at their schools for cupcakes and PTO meeting etc, I spoke with one of the motheres and she offered to be my DD.

I thought oh great I will be able to go!!! Sooooo as I told my husband about this in a round about way, he had no response.

The evening went on, I put clean sheets on the bed, started dinner, ran to pharmacy, attempted many time to just chit chat with him, but he obviously once again didnt feel lie having much conversation about anything.

So there I sat as I receive many text s to where  I am, I got upset, cuz it sucks not being able to go do something you want to do and instead sit in silence watching animal planetwith your husband that is goign to get up early and go hunitng with his friend while I take care of children and try to make myself do some housework.

Sooo when he see that I am crying and asks why he gets mad a t me.  Even though I had a D he doesnt trust her cuz he doesnt know her etc. I old so and so this would happen etc.  really?  Thought you dont BS at work ass? 

As usual our arguments turn int more than the specific issue.  When was the last time I worked 40 ours, even though if you add the time I get the kids ready for school, go to work, make it home for them to be off bus, cook, do through school work, etc etc, I know it adds up to at least 40 hours.  FML

I just dont know what to do.  I said I wouldnt go for him, but get told I knew you would throw it in my face. Im not I just would love to have some recognition of it at least and some adult conversation instead of watching tv in silence.

He referes to me a s supermom frequently and I enjoy trying to be that, but I like fun time too and honestly its rare that its any fun with him.  I just feel like shit,  puffy faced from crying all evening, and have to hope the girls will invite me again.  I dont go shopping aside from the grocery store, I dont go out and do anything.

I know this post is very scattered and random but hopefully you can get the idea and give me some advise.

by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 9:03 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
nicole2884
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 9:11 AM

i would say if your arguments turn into something bigger , then there is a bigger issue that needs to be worked out, he seems to have some resentment for you not "working" 40 hrs, i would try to explain to him how you both work hard and you both deserve to have fun , his was hunting , yours was girls night i mean i dont see why you both cant have fun, maybe you could give him a little sanity by not over doing it next time

next time dont ask premission. just run it by him say this is what im doing , ill be safe 


mandy7675
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 9:21 AM

I agree Nicole, something bigger.  But what?  I feel like I can never do anything right!  And trust me I have been out in the past at one of the motheres houses and have not over done it, but then I get text mesages as to when I am coming home, and I come home later than what I said I was its another issue.  Even though I with a group of mothers at their home.  I NEVER NEVER go out to a bar or even a restaurant with them.  Alway someones home, or usually one of their kids birthday parties is the only public places.  All while he gets to be a h home alone to play his game, cuz he sure as hell dont clean or anything.

Also please note that when I got up this morning my kitchen floor had mud pieces all over it from his boots this morning!  His dinner bowl still sitting beside his chair from last night etc.  But his hunting clothes were freshly washed and dried for him!

lucky2Beeme
by Silver Member on Feb. 25, 2012 at 9:43 AM
4 moms liked this

OK I would be pissed it you decided to stay home then cried about it. That is so childlike. I do understand where you are coming from. You need to make plans and go out. Stop cowering to his insecurities. He is an adult.  He needs to learn to go to sleep if you are out. Just like children do.

mandy7675
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 9:52 AM
I just gets really frustrating when the only person you hang out with doesn't even want to BS with you, so call me childish if it upset me when a house full of other mothers wanted me there and offered to come get me. Cuz that sounded alot more fun than sitting there with nothing to watch not anyone to talk to.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
stephlank
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 10:01 AM
If he gets to go hunt, then you get to go out!!! I would have went out anyway whether he liked it or not!
mami323
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 10:07 AM
He don't trust you
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mandy7675
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 10:12 AM
No he doesn't trust me. I haven't done anything tho. It's like he's afraid I will .... I don't know.

And If I would have just went I would have had chest pain from the anxiety. And would have come home to the house dark and locked up or been told not to come home.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
nicole2884
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 11:18 AM

that is just extremely annoying , your a strong person, if i had to do it all and didnt get to go out every now an then i would have gone postal along time ago, well he talk, well he go to counseling, thats alot to tolerate forever, something has got to give. i know i havent been married that long but we have been together for a while an i just cant imagine how you deal, i hope it gets better 

BabyBrantsMom
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 11:44 AM
It's not fair that u have to sit at home all day and not ever get to go out! He does his thing when he wants, like going hunting. I have been told by nurses and doctors that it is not only good for u but the children that you get out of the house occasionally. You have to let yourself have fun as well. My husband used to do the same to me until I had an emotional breakdown and told him how I felt and he started letting me do things. I hope things start getting better for u Mama! Have u tried explaining how u feel? It could turn into anxiety or depression If u are constantly stuck in the house.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
angie
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 11:49 AM


Quoting mandy7675:

I just gets really frustrating when the only person you hang out with doesn't even want to BS with you, so call me childish if it upset me when a house full of other mothers wanted me there and offered to come get me. Cuz that sounded alot more fun than sitting there with nothing to watch not anyone to talk to.

When it got to the point where the other mothers were texting you, as you were sitting right beside him doing nothing... I would have said "ok, I'm gonna go hangout for a little bit, cuz everyone is asking where I'm at". Everyone needs alone time. My husband and I hardly ever go out alone, sometimes I have to force him out the door. I don't think my DH would get angry if I went out, but on the off chance that he did... well he'd just have to suck it up and get over it.

hugs

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN