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had two lil debates with my dh... *piog

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:44 AM
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#1. We just moved to Irving texas. And since we've been here(today is the second sunday) I havent went to church because I havent visited any churches over here by our apartment. So I told dh last night the kids and I were going to visit a church today and he got a lil irritated and said thats not the way youre suppose to do things. You dont just visit every church until you find the right one. And that it was silly that I felt like I needed to be in a church to praise god. Now how else do/did you find your church? We have no friends or family here.

#2. Our kids wake up at 7am here and he wants to make them go back and lay in there beds until he wakes up. But I dont feel like they should have too. Because I am always already awoke just still lying in bed with him. So I just get up, feed them, go to the bathroom, put on outside clothes, take the dogs outside, and then come back in to take a shower and wash the kids after I load the dishwasher. But he said I undermised(sp) him in front of our kids. Cause I said "its ok bay im up." When he tried to tell dd1(3.5 yrs old) to go lay back in her bed. But she was sick yesterday so when I heard her say she was hungry I jumped up lol. But do you think I did undermise him in front of her? Cause if i did I need to apologize because I was wrong.
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by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BaileynMe
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:06 AM
1. Most churches I've attended I've already had a connection there; a friend, or acquaintance. Now tho DH and I have been looking for a church, and I don't think there's anything wrong with finding the "right" one. We want one that fits the important doctrinal points of our faith as well as one that makes us feel welcome and where we can serve.

2. You should probably talk to your DH about this; just because you don't feel you did anything wrong doesn't invalidate HIS feelings. I would apologize for leaving him feeling undermined when that wasn't the intention and come up with a plan for handling that situation (kids getting up early) in the future.
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nicole2884
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:09 AM
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i think your husband is a jerk, wth , i think on the first issue your right , but i think what he was saying was he doesnt want to go to church because he doesnt feel you have to go 

on the second one from his ass of a view point yes your undermining him , but from my pov the kids get up you get up unless its 4 in the morning ya know

i think it sounds like lack of communication from him , your not a mind reader , sounds like he is having a hard time transitioning to a new place and thats not your fault

i hope things get better

lovin.my.boys
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:22 AM
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1.That is how my parents found a church when they first got married, they went to every church in town then picked one where they thought they would feel more at home at. When I moved, that's what I was planning on doing but my sister suggested her church and we liked it so we just kept going there. (Just me and the kids, my husband doesn't go)

2. I don't know about yours but my 3.5 year old would NEVER go back to bed and just lay there once he was up, if I don't get up with him he would go through everything in the house just to see what he can find. Doesn't mean your husband needs to get up, mine will sleep til noon most weekends. But once the kids are up at least 1 parent should get up too as long as it's not an unreasonable time, especially at such a young age.

sandra1023
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:25 AM
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I agree with you on both issues.  I don't see how saying, "It's ok, I'm up" was undermining your husband at all.  Does he also want you to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling until he gets up?  Once people are awake, (especially kids), they are awake, and forcing them back to their rooms isn't going to make them go back to sleep.

Gmgej
by Michele on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:26 AM
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I don't think a 3.5 year old should be made to go back to bed because he doesn't want to get up, unless your 3.5 year old isn't going to bed until late and needs more rest.. Honestly it sounds like he is having some problems feeling like he needs to control it. Ask him to find you a church then, see what he does, as the head of the household it is his job.

proudmum23
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:26 AM
I agree with this

Quoting BaileynMe:

1. Most churches I've attended I've already had a connection there; a friend, or acquaintance. Now tho DH and I have been looking for a church, and I don't think there's anything wrong with finding the "right" one. We want one that fits the important doctrinal points of our faith as well as one that makes us feel welcome and where we can serve.



2. You should probably talk to your DH about this; just because you don't feel you did anything wrong doesn't invalidate HIS feelings. I would apologize for leaving him feeling undermined when that wasn't the intention and come up with a plan for handling that situation (kids getting up early) in the future.
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Lexi76
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:36 AM

 I looked around at churches through their online info. Decided on the one that is close to home, has the Sunday service times that we need, and has mid-week evening adult & child service. DD & I attended a Sunday service and decided that we liked it.

As far as the child care, imo he is being selfish. Kids do not want to lay in bed all day, even if the one DD was sick. If he doesn't want to to get up, then he should let you take care of them. 

Good luck & God Bless

 

MandyBear0341
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:46 AM

I think you did the right thing. I dont see a problem with them being up if you are up. But maybe the kids can be quiet while daddy is sleeping? (assuming they play loud lol).

AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Mar. 4, 2012 at 12:15 PM

As for the church thing, you're right.  I'm in Fort Worth.. not too far from you.  The church home that I grew up in no longer suites me for whatever reason [I have plenty LOL].  DH and I have been going back and forth on finding a church home but we've been really lazy about it.  We've visited a couple of churches but decided against them because while they were "kid friendly", they were  mostly older congregations and DD wouldn't have many friends.  I want a church that has a decent sized youth program.  How are you going to know which church home suites you unless you visit and check them out?

The kids waking up early and wanting to eat breakfast..  you're right about that too.  Sounds like he just wants to sleep and not worry about it.  7:00 is a perfectly acceptable time for a child to crawl out of bed and be ready for something to eat. 

Welcome to the DFW area hun!  Let me know if you have any questions about your area.  :)

Daisyducc
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 12:43 PM
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I can't answer the church question, but since our daughter was born, she is the family alarm clock. When she is awake, one of us is awake. Since I am more an early riser it is usually me. I close the bedroom door so he can get an extra few minutes...but we don't wait for him to rise to start our day.
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