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Life isn't fair???????

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:24 PM
  • 13 Replies

Why does life always seem to bring me down?  I guess I'm just venting, but I am just so frustrated!  When I was 2 I was diagnosed with insulin dependent diabetes, at 20 I had my dd by emergency c-section...  My dd was 3 1/2 lbs and 11.4 weeks early.  I had two abdominal surgeries within four weeks after she was born, I had MRSA which resulted in them leaving me open hip to hip to heal from the inside out.  Two years later I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, that seems to be a daily struggle...  10 months into our marriage I lost our son at 16 weeks and had to have an emergency hysterectomy just 6 weeks later.  I had to have another surgery where they re-opened the same incision 3 months later, and again I had MRSA, and AGAIN I was left open hip to hip to heal from the inside out.  Then four years later I was diagnosed with myotonic muscular dystrophy.  I feel like my whole life I have been struggling with health problems, every time I think  life is finally going to calm down something else comes up.  But Friday it wasn't my health, my dh was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.  I feel so helpless.  I love him more than anything in this world, he is my best friend, and now he has to deal with all of my health problems, but also his own.  It's just so unfair!!!!  I've heard my whole life that life isn't fair, but I'm so tired of that!  Seems like everyone who tells me that has nothing in their life that isn't fair, so wth do they know, and how can they possibly say that when they really don't know that?  IDK, I'm sorry for the vent, I just needed to get this off my chest.  I don't want my dh to have to go thru this!!!!

by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BaileynMe
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this
Mama, it's awful what you've been through, and no, life isn't always fair. A weaker person would give up and surrender, but you're still here.

Seems to me you have a choice: continue to feel beaten down about it, or rise to the occasion and conquer it. Use your own experiences to help your husband through his own health difficulties; lean on each other. He's been with you through so much; now it's your chance to return the favor.
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biancalina20
by Bianca Lina on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:30 PM
I am so sorry you have had to go through so much pain and suffering and that now your dh has to go through that. I wish you the best. All i can say is be there for him. *hugs*
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Truequeen79
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:39 PM
Omg you guys are so strong going threw everything you been threw my prayers are you and your family
artistmom889
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:40 PM

I trully hope things get better for you.

My life has not been exactly the same as yours, but I have survived chronic depression severe self-image issues, a deceased twin, almost lost my other sister,my father's recent death, a very likely miscarried child (it was just after I discovered my daughter was coming,)I've been through bankruptcy , and came within days of a foreclosure, and that's the short list.I am  trying to encourage you, not bash, but I think I'm qualified to say "nope, life's not fair" I firmly beleive that old line 'what doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Hold on tight, you CAN keep going

j.patzer
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:52 PM

life isnt fair... ive been through most of what you have and more, and i just turned 21, including having dabeties, mrsa, the loss of child, im lucky with this one so far, i also have borderline personality disorder, fibromyalga and scholosis, my husband is dislexic, adhd, and biploar, hes 22. except it, and move on. we both work full time, i still do being 20 weeks 5 days with this child. im happy, and my health is doing ok inspite of every thing wrong with me, i live in pain, but i dont let it rule me. 

mem82
by Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:06 PM

I'm sorry. 8( Just keep on keeping on, I guess. I hope you get a bit of good luck to offset this. Try to think of the good things: You survived two bouts of MRSA without losing your life or limb, you do have one child who loves you, you have a man that loves you and is willing to care for you. Sometimes, it's the good things you have to cling to, to survive the bad stuff.

elijahXmom
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:14 PM
We are more then what is wrong with us. Hugs it will get better.
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LadyLotus3
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:55 PM

 Unfortunately, the saying is correct and there really isnt any other way to put it.

Life just isnt fair and it isnt the fairy tale many expect it to be while growing up.

Im sorry for your health issues, they totally and completely suck. Aside from the horrors you've had to deal with...what have you learned from them? Have you taken anything positive away from it all?

Those are the questions I ask when Im feeling down and out cuz of bullshyt that goes on in my world.

I totally get not wanting your husband to have to go through the pain of RA, my mother has it...I get it.

My husband has terminal cancer and Id give up pretty much everything I have and am...including my own life to not have to watch him go through it and watch our boys see him go through it and know what the end result will be.

All we can do tho is take our experiences, learn from them and make them help us become better, stronger people and help those in our lives who we love that are going through crap too.

*hugs*

babylove1979
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 7:21 AM
Thank all of you who have given hugs, prayers and everything else! I totally understand all you've said, I just said the BIG health issues my dh and I have had, I did not include my dd's asthma or her adhd, my mom and dads health and soooooooooo many other things :( I just feel soooooooooo helpless, depressed and over all soooo incredibly overwhelmed!!!!
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bunnywzrd
by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2012 at 7:55 AM

there is a group call "coping with chronic conditions" you could check it out. The ladies in there always have a lot of good advice.

Quoting babylove1979:

Thank all of you who have given hugs, prayers and everything else! I totally understand all you've said, I just said the BIG health issues my dh and I have had, I did not include my dd's asthma or her adhd, my mom and dads health and soooooooooo many other things :( I just feel soooooooooo helpless, depressed and over all soooo incredibly overwhelmed!!!!


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