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Are married women really not supposed to do this? Edit in Purple

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 I was talking with a few friends of mine about being married. All three of us have been married for a few years now. K has been having issues with her husband and is thinking about leaving. So we asked her what the problem is. She said he wants her to do things sexually that she doesn't think a wife should do. We asked what he wanted and she said things like oral sex, and sexy lingerie. Didn't seem to big of a deal to me. So it got me wondering why would she think this?
What do you ladies think is appropriate for a man and wife to do? Are there certain sexual acts a wife shouldn't do? Why?

Wow! I log off for one night and came back to a million responses! :) I'm going through them now but wanted to say thank you to everyone who responded! I'll try to respond to as many as I can...

by on Mar. 24, 2012 at 10:19 PM
Replies (741-750):
by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 8:25 PM
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 30, 2012 at 8:37 PM

I'm so sorry your husband is so insensitive and selfish about your comfort and health. Someone else on here said that anal can be a health hazard. You should research that and show him why it is not good for your body. Obviously, it is not good for you, though, since it is causing you to bleed! Honestly, I would consider this rape. I would be very resentful and not be interested in ANY sex if my husband was this aggressive with me. I'm sure it has killed your intimacy and trust in the relationship. Maybe you need to talk to someone other than him about this.

Quoting BriarleeRose:

My husband is very demanding, constantly harrassing me for anal sex. I have tried to please him but it is extremely painful and I am always bloody afterwards, no matter how much lube we use. I absolutely hate it, and hate the fact that he could care less that it hurts me. He only cares about his own selfish pleasures. He has a very large penis, so it's not like I'm being a cry baby about it either. I'm not sure what to do. I have been refusing since the last time. He never lets up about it though.

Quoting carinsmommy:

 This is what I thouhgt. I'm willing to try almost anything once and my hubby knows it. But my exit has a flashing sign that says DO NOT ENTER! HAHA~

Quoting ExquisiteMomof2:

This. Anything goes as long as both parties agree and have a safe word. Especially married. But an out shoot is only an out shoot here.

Quoting MrsMedina90:

I think an exit should stay an exit, I don't swing but I'm up for anything else so I guess it depends on how a couple keeps the flame lit.


by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 5:58 AM
1 mom liked this

A husband and wife can do whatever they please. As long as it's safe to them and both AGREE.

by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 11:27 AM
I feel like in a monogamous marriage that anything goes...jmo. It's fun to experiment and do things to make each other happy. I have done things with my dh that i thought i would never do and it makes me happy to make him happy. :-)
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by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 3:11 PM
I think in any relationship married or not there is nothing wrong with spicing up the sex life/ private time. I know women that get bored with the same old thing so of coarse men do too! I think its more crazy that your friend wants to leave her husband over this and i can garentee there is way more to that story. In your friends husbands defense atleast hes going to his wife and not looking to get his urges out with someone else. Also, i was wondering when they were dating would she wear sexy lingerie and perform oral sex? I love to try new things personally but i know i like feeling sexy and lingerie makes me feel good.
by on Apr. 3, 2012 at 3:15 PM

Sexual compatibility is important!!!

"live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air..." Emerson 

by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 11:04 PM
I'm with you on this! Me and my husband like trying different things. We are also quite kinky with each other but that's what makes the marriage spicy.
by on Apr. 11, 2012 at 12:56 PM
I think that is kind of an odd response for your friend to have. Maybe it is her way of trying to justify herself in not doing those things because she doesn't want to do them...
The idea that there are things that a respectable wife shouldn't do in the bedroom with her hubby (or the kitchen, car, laundry room... etc) ... well, this idea just contributes to the idea that men needs to cheat on their respectable wives with whores in order to satisfy their sexual urges. Cuz, you know, respectable wives are only for child-making and not pleasure...
see how destructive that idea is?
You should ask your friend how she would feel if her poor husband was eventually driven to cheat with some tramp because he feels sexually rejected and dissatisfied... that is the number one reason for men cheating you know....
Tell her not to be selfish in the bedroom! She should give her hubby oral sex, wear lingerie, and pretty much do anything that doesn't make her gag or feel bad about herself or hurt her physically!
You should tell her that if she really hates doing something (like wearing lingerie or giving bjs) she should have a few glasses of wine first, then let her inhibitions down and do what makes her man excited! She will be surprised how much enjoyment she will get out of doing something just for him when she gets out of the mind set that she should be selfish in the bedroom and that everything has to be about her or mutually pleasurable. She can derive pleasure purely from seeing him satisfied...
unless she'd rather her DH step out w/some nasty ho-bag in order to get that satisfaction!!

I, personally, take lots of comfort and joy in the knowledge that my DH gets whatever he wants, whenever he wants, when it comes to the bedroom. He doesn't need to every feel rejected or dissatisfied! He doesn't need to be one of those guys who complains to his buddies how much he misses dating so he can have head... he gets everything he needs right here at home (and so do I... its amazing how affection is so readily reciprocated by a man)

Anyway, I hope your friend wakes up before she loses her marriage... and she should know that she isn't going to find a man who is going to want to put up with that kind of selfishness unless she happens upon a man that is unfortunately incapable of sex for some reason or another...
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 7:35 PM

LOL. I think I get naughtier too! :D If you cant have fun with your husband, who can you have fun with? After you raise your kids, I guess it is time to discover each other again...and after you have all the babies you want. Wow, what is the point of fighting over what one doesnt want to do. Do something that you both want to do.

by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 10:02 PM

Exactly what I was going to say.

Quoting Sagely:

A wife shouldn't do anything that she doesn't want to do.  Otherwise...a married couple can pretty much do whatever they want.

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