Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Marriage advice PLEASE!!

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 8:02 PM
  • 12 Replies
1 mom liked this

I have been feeling depressed and sad. There are so many thing I can come up with. We been having alot of fights lately. We have been married for 2 years and know eachother for 4 years. We lived with eachother since we started dating because my mom kicked me out. Well it starts I do not like him watchin porn He was watchin it and I asked him about it and the first timehe said no then i seen it again and he said ues he was. It feels so hurtful to me. And when he said that you do not turn me on at all. Makes me feel shitty and everything else. I have a tendensy to keep everything inside of me not letting it out. That plays a important factor in all this. iWe work different shifts. I work from 630am till 4 pm. He works from 230pm till 1100pm or later. So we dont get to talk or see eachother very much. I am sleeping when he gets home and when I leave for work he is sleeping. I feel like that is bugging me so much. we did this os we would not have to pay a babysitter very much. I dont want to go back to work becuase I feel like I can not trust him. We made a promise I would stop lying about stupid things and when we get in to fights quit saying I want a divorce and leaving. And he would quit watchin porn. I just cant trust him I feel like when I go back to work. I feel like he will still do it. Tell me is there something wrong with the way I am thinking.

by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 8:02 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
shelleyragsdale
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 8:08 PM

You are entitled to your opinion...Porn does not bother me at all, its just pictures or videos of others and it just doesnt bother  me...

blessedwith
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 10:41 PM
2 moms liked this

There is nothing wrong with you not liking porn.  Porn is the easy way out to get your rocks off.  It is bringing others into the marriage bed, and that is adultry.  As he HAS promised to not look at filth, let him know that in order to rebuild trust, you would like to install a filtering software on your computer.  K9 is one I know of that is supposed to be VERY good and it is free.  You hold the password, something he can't guess.

The hurtful words of his not being turned on by you, that is the porn....it is truly evil the way that rewires the mind in regard to sex.  It is fake, and damaging.

Monsita
by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2012 at 1:02 AM

Porn can be very damaging to the marriage WHEN IT REPLACES THE INTIMACY IN THE COUPLE...

He saying you do not turn him anymore IS RUDE AND CRUEL, however, please find out if he is willing to stop watching him all alone , and maybe he is ready to compromise getting outside help IN ORDER TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE.

quadqueen08
by on Mar. 29, 2012 at 11:20 AM

how do I do that K9 thing

JennPearce
by Jenn! on Mar. 29, 2012 at 11:24 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree with this!


Quoting Monsita:

Porn can be very damaging to the marriage WHEN IT REPLACES THE INTIMACY IN THE COUPLE...


He saying you do not turn him anymore IS RUDE AND CRUEL, however, please find out if he is willing to stop watching him all alone , and maybe he is ready to compromise getting outside help IN ORDER TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
blessedwith
by on Mar. 29, 2012 at 11:24 AM
GE1
by on Mar. 29, 2012 at 11:45 AM
1 mom liked this

The root of the problem which no one has seemed to address was that you feel that you cannot trust him and that you have also threatened divorce. Especially after he has treated you so rudely. Trust is the backbone to any marriege that you BOTH need to work on. When you talk to him tell him "When you do ... I feel ..." If that does not work then ask him to go with you to get counseling. Remember that you are both equal partners in this relationship

quadqueen08
by on Mar. 29, 2012 at 11:57 AM

okay downloaded it how to i protect it form por sites and stuff

LilMamaK
by on Mar. 29, 2012 at 12:08 PM
1 mom liked this

 There's nothing wrong with it. In my eyes porn is cheating. The ONLY women he should ever see naked or have thoughts about it ME. I understand how you feel and to be honest, you have to talk to him and let it out. Tell him how you're having trust issues and that he  needs to gain your trust back. Let him know how much it hurts you!

*~*Wifey To Tommy(2.4.11), Mommy to Allyana(7.5.08), & Our angel baby Jovanny(3.6.10)*~*

quadqueen08
by on Mar. 29, 2012 at 12:46 PM

Thanks that website works so much i feel better

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)