I had always been pretty led towards the "bad boy" type that always got me physically but mike (hubby) was different, so i really wanted to give him a chance. From the beginning i thought he was cute, adorable, sweet. We waited for 3 months to have sex and then it happened....nothing...i felt no and STILL feel no physical attraction to him. I obviously cant tell him that so i keep trying but our sex life is definatly not what it should be. I guess i always knew that that physical connection wasnt there but he was good to me (which i had never had before) and we connected on a emotional level. I just miss that physical connection though :(
I don't know what to do, nothing seems to help and it doesnt help either that we havent been getting along at all for awhile now..
Do any of you think a physical attraction is important when choosing a mate, is it a deal breaker or could you live without it??!
Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated :)
Thanks!
Quoting wintermermaid:
Hmm. I think attraction can grow over time. There's something that attracted you to him...
Quoting OHgirlinCA:Yes, physical attraction is important, but you have to be compatible beyond that.
For me, it's a person's personality that makes them more (or less) attractive to me. The hottest guy in the world will be unattractive to me if he's a complete jerk, and a not so attractive guy will become so much more attractive if he has a stellar personality.
if he is not taking care of himself or has changed since u got together i'd understand but i don't think it is a good idea AT ALL to just say "i'm not physically attracted to you." i'd be SUPER hurt if hubby ever said that to me. work out together instead. in the end, some day, if ur still together, u both will be super old and probably not attracted to each other's bodies so maybe it shouldn't be as important to all of us as much as it is now.
Maybe, just maybe, you're worried about the "hastiness" of your marriage. Stress can quash almost any attraction. You might try to relax about it, and then the attraction may flow. Try to focus on his better attributes and see where that goes. I'm attracted to my hubby, "flaws" and all! But, it didn't come all at once in the begining--love and attraction is something that has to be nurtured! And if my man hadn't won me with his kindness, I don't care if he was an adonis or not, I'd never have given our union a chance. Now, he IS my adonis :)
i think it's extremely important..my husband and i our sooooo attracted to each other physically. even when we are mad at each other the physical attraction is so strong that we cant be mad at one another for long. we've been together for almost eight years. my dh has gained about 50 lbs since i first met him, but he's still the most handsome man in the world, to me.
also, i think that there is so much more to physical attraction than just looks...
Its important but there are different levels of attraction. I have guys that were so gorgeous to me and I was attracted from day one...then there were guys that were not so good looking but once I got to know them and who they were they "became gorgeous" to me...does that make any sense?
Dh and my argument today made me so mad, and realized he is lazy
- Hopefultobe87
on Apr. 2, 2012 at 5:35 AM