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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

I know I'm being cruel and selfish but I can't help it!

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 2:05 AM
  • 27 Replies
Ok..so I know I'm wrong for doing this and usually I'm a rational person..but this character flaw of mine just keeps getting worse. Every time my husband and I have a argument..(one that's considered a hurtful argument)..afterwards when he tries to play with or cuddle with OUR son..I won't let him. I'll scream and try to snatch him away. Of course this just makes the fight worse. I just start yelling and saying, "this is my son..I brought him into his world..he was a part of me and not you. You wanna get rude with me...you don't get to be with my son". And while I'm doing this there is a voice inside that's saying, "you are acting like such an unfair selfish bitch" but then all I can think is...that's MY son...you don't get to hurt my feelings then play with and cuddle the thing that I love most...he's MINE". It's kind of like when your little and you get in a fight with your friend and you then snatch back the toy that you had let him have..although this situation is much more dysfunctional. Does anyone else do this? Am i such a horrible person? I seriously can not turn into a crazy wife that creates distance between father and son.
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by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 2:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LadyStork
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 2:07 AM
No, but it sounds like you need to look into therapy.
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jesusismycookie
by New Member on Apr. 10, 2012 at 2:09 AM

umm wow, poor little boy

sissyboogs
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2012 at 2:11 AM
2 moms liked this

I wouldn't go as far as saying you're horrible...but, you do need to figure out a way to stop that behavior for sure. Right now, it hurts your husband. Eventually, it's going to hurt your son. 

Fields456
by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2012 at 2:12 AM
That's def not good. I understand having hurtful arguments with dh but you should not make your son suffer because of them .
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myaa
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 2:13 AM
Wow! Thanks for the great support! That's exactly the response I was looking for!


Quoting jesusismycookie:

umm wow, poor little boy


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3LittleMonstrs
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 2:14 AM
Your making your child suffer because your pissed off at your DH? You need to get some counseling, not only is it hurting your son but your husband is going to get fed up with it and I wouldn't be surprised of he left you.
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charliebean
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 2:15 AM
1 mom liked this
I have the same flaw. If STBX says something I don't like, sometimes I get mad and tell him he's not allowed to see DD anymore and I know it's wrong and i'll call him the next day and apologize and he knows I dont mean it. But I understand, it's a very hard habit to break.
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myaa
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 2:15 AM
Right now he's only 4 months..most of the time he's just babbling to himself the whole time. But I need to stop doing this before he gets older and starts to understand what's going on.
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phrenicfire89
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 2:16 AM
1 mom liked this
I used to, I would try to push dad away and tend to them. Finally the voices "this is dumb" won and DH and I talked about it. It is more important to let whoever is more level headed at the time to be with the child. If you're ready to push dad away, its not you. It was definitely hard, but I know I married a good man who wanted to be a father and our disagreement should not harm our kids. It would do more damage to them because we will get over it. They are learning the wrong thing from that behaviour. Good luck at correcting this, it does need to be. But you aren't alone in this feeling. Well... I was more thinking - you're an idiot I don't trust you to take care of them right. I can do it better than you, I'm their mommy, blah blah blah.
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GCSOmom
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 2:16 AM

 this

Quoting LadyStork:

No, but it sounds like you need to look into therapy.

 

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