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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Advice please

Posted by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:29 PM
  • 25 Replies
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A girl I know was with my sons father for only 4 months and the first month they were together she got pregnant. Everyone including her thought her old bf was possibly the father until the ultrasound proved otherwise. During all the mess (before the ultrasound that comfered it all) she left him and went and told her ex it was his. She had a restrainging order and no contact order on her ex but voided it. Well after the ultrasound confermed it was my exs she was upset. Then she got some news that the baby had fluid in the back of his neck and he was more than likely to have down syndrome. She was supposed to get a level 2 ultrasound 2m but she started spotting and her doc said her placenta could be seperating. I asked her if the baby was gunna be ok she said no. When I asked her why she started saying how she was gettin him removed from her because he might have downs and she didn't want a baby with problems. I flipped out because I have a sister with down syndrome and I don't believe in killing babies ESP if it's just cos he might have downs she don't even know if he does for sure. She says she wudnt give it up for adoption or sign her rights away cos it would make her look bad. Umm I'm pretty sure killing the baby just because he might have a problem is wayyy worse!!! She's 22 weeks so if the placenta is detaching the. He still could have a chnce of surviving but no she don't want him. I honestly think she is the most selfish person. How could you just wanna kill a baby ESP being that far along just because of one marker that he could have downs. It seriously breaks my heart that would be my sons brother that's why i talk to this girl and me and my ex are civil. Idk am I over reacting? It's just horrible and so selfish to me.
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
gapeach0513
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:34 PM
Very sad. I'm personally against the idea, but, unfortunately, we can't decide for her. Hopefully, she'll at least wait and make a fully informed decision, and if the baby does have downs, she'll place him for adoption if she doesn't want him.
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RoxeyMama
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:42 PM
My mom got a ultrasound at the last month of her pregnancy and they said my brother might have down syndrome the doctor wanted to set up an adoption and everything or explain my moms other options my mom said what options he's my son. Can't believe people sometimes its still ur kid no matter what. Turns out she was wrong anyway he's to smart for school and showing no signs at age 13 of down syndrome. Ultrasounds are NOT always right my sister was supposed to be a brother. My son was supposed to have water on his brain. Your not over reacting I'm with you.... my aunt adopted a kid when she was 3 and treats her like she's her very own and she has down. She's buatiful lady now at age 19.
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busy_mama27
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:54 PM

It is horrible and selfish but you are a little close to this.  My very best advice is to walk away from it.  We cannot control what other people think and do and its only hurting you to worry about it. 

 

LilMamaK
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:56 PM

 That breaks my heart   =(

*~*Wifey To Tommy(2.4.11), Mommy to Allyana(7.5.08), & Our angel baby Jovanny(3.6.10)*~*

celticdragon77
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:56 PM
2 moms liked this

It is her right.

nicole2884
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:59 PM

as much as i think her reasoning is wrong, it is her right, an i can some what understand that

coonsblessed
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 3:09 PM

I hope it all turns out ok and she decides to keep her baby.  I'll add you to my prayer list. :(

JennPearce
by Jenn! on Apr. 12, 2012 at 3:15 PM
I think it's incredibly selfish on her part to kill the baby at this point if it still can survive. If she doesn't want to have a baby with downs she can give it up for adoption. That won't make her look bad. I can understand because kids are a lot of work as it is, and ones with special needs require even more attention but she will be a selfish person if she terminates a pregnancy at 22 weeks by her choice. :/
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celticdragon77
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 3:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it is unfair for you all to judge her or anyone who has to make this heartbreaking and difficult decision. And it seems like her life is a mess in other areas. Maybe not the best time for her to be bringing a child into the world and especially one with major health issues that could be a huge responsibility, commitment, financial burden, stressful, etc. No matter what she decides, she will live with this for the rest of her life.

I feel for the mother and I wish her the very best. I hope people rally around her to support her instead of just tearing her apart during this difficult time. 

Best way to deal with any situation is with love. Even if you disagree with someone.


"live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air..." Emerson 

LeeAnnMcKinney
by Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 4:59 PM
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That is so horrible. When I was pregnant with my daughter I had my multiple marker test come back saying she had a high chance of having downs. However, She does not have it at all. It never crossed my mind to not want her. If the child has special needs so what she should love that child even more not less. Man, She better be glad I don't know her. I would be kicking some ass.

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