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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Am i being selfish?

Posted by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:06 AM
  • 29 Replies
Ladies, i have a question. My husband is in the military and we have four children two of which are 1 and 2. I attend school and i also have a sat class. We have had a few sat out. My husbands says that i shouldn't take classes because he is always left with the kids which is not true during the week when i'm in class for about two hours they are at their daycare provider and when i'm not in class they are with me, weather i'm going grocery shopping or mmeetingfriends. Some days he come in and just go directly upstairs..he does not bathe them or feed them. Am i being selfish? He says that i don't work so having them isn't that big of a deal but i disagree but would love feedback please.
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by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lillybug222
by Silver Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:09 AM
You should both have time for yourselves & make time together a priority.
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BaileynMe
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:11 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't think you're being selfish, but it sounds like your husband is.
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OHgirlinCA
by Silver Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:14 AM
1 mom liked this
You're bettering yourself by seeking an education. That in turn will help your family. That is, in no way selfish, but smart!
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mrssummerlin
by Bronze Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:15 AM
Agreed

Quoting BaileynMe:

I don't think you're being selfish, but it sounds like your husband is.
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gmadiane
by Bronze Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:19 AM


Quoting BaileynMe:

I don't think you're being selfish, but it sounds like your husband is.


MrsMoss88
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:23 AM
Thanks, he makes me feel bad for leaving them with him. We don't do anything as a family. I am always the one taking the kids out to the park or just getting them out of the house. He doesn't like them bothering him. He says he gets up at 5 and work all day, I understand that but he doesn't understand that I'm not just sitting at home relaxing. I'm tired as well but I have children and they come first..but I get tired to but I can't nit be around them.
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BaileynMe
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:43 AM
I don't think my husband ever really understood that staying home with kids IS working until I went back to work and he started staying with dd on his days off. I swear he thought I sat around and sipped margaritas all day.


Quoting MrsMoss88:

Thanks, he makes me feel bad for leaving them with him. We don't do anything as a family. I am always the one taking the kids out to the park or just getting them out of the house. He doesn't like them bothering him. He says he gets up at 5 and work all day, I understand that but he doesn't understand that I'm not just sitting at home relaxing. I'm tired as well but I have children and they come first..but I get tired to but I can't nit be around them.

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MomToovey
by Marianne on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:53 AM

 No, you're not being selfish. I'm a SAHM and I expect to do most of the work around the house and raising our daughter - but just because my husband works and I don't doesn't let him off the hook. He is still the father of our child and he is expected to act as such. He still lives in this house, so he's expected to help with upkeep. Again, I'm not saying he should do all the work, I'm perfectly happy with my role as primary housekeeper and care provider. But he should still be contributing to the family in a physical way - not just monetarily. Thankfully, my husband is more than willing to uphold his side of the bargain. He helps out around the house and with our daughter without me needing to ask him. I just don't understand why a man wouldn't want to spend time with his own children! I mean, he could at least come home and take care of the kids for you so you can get something done! I'm sorry momma. Good luck.

jiblet
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:59 PM

He should watch them while you have your class. Thats part of being married and sharing in each other's goals. Having 4 kids is a BIG deal and you should have the ability to continue your education.

BeckyP.
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 1:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree. Having children is a SHARED responsibility. Sounds like he's not fully on board.


Quoting BaileynMe:

I don't think you're being selfish, but it sounds like your husband is.

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