Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage
Ladies, i have a question. My husband is in the military and we have four children two of which are 1 and 2. I attend school and i also have a sat class. We have had a few sat out. My husbands says that i shouldn't take classes because he is always left with the kids which is not true during the week when i'm in class for about two hours they are at their daycare provider and when i'm not in class they are with me, weather i'm going grocery shopping or mmeetingfriends. Some days he come in and just go directly upstairs..he does not bathe them or feed them. Am i being selfish? He says that i don't work so having them isn't that big of a deal but i disagree but would love feedback please.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:06 AM
Replies (21-29):
UsArmyWife2001
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 8:17 PM
I don't think you are being selfish but he is.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mrs.Miller11
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 9:39 PM

I always find this kind of relationship odd. Like, why doesnt he want to be a father? Why is taking care of his kids such a burden? I will never understand this.

I dont think you are being selfish.

emarin77
by Silver Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:32 PM

You have to discuss with your husband a plan of who takes care of the children and when.  Does your husband support you going to college?

sescci
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 7:35 AM

oh no no no no no,  you are not being selfish... if he is away even for 3days or so.  he should pick up the slack.  you stay in school and keep doing what you are doing.  you know they have a name for that, it is called super woman momma.  and that is what i believe you are. if your hubby can't see what you are trying to do, then he has the problem.  i bet his so called friends in the military wouldn't treat their woman like that.. maybe you should find out... other military wives would say..  my prayers are with you and blessings.  fyi remember you are super woman momma, and what you are doing not many moms can do.. your husband is just plain selfish.

MrsMoss88
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 4:39 PM
Honestly I don't think he supports me going to school, just the other day when I told him I was going to school for all of us. He told me it was just for me, I was doing it beacause I wanted to so when I pay the baby sitter it's because I want to go to school and I shouldn't expect to want to do things for me because I go to school

Quoting emarin77:

You have to discuss with your husband a plan of who takes care of the children and when.  Does your husband support you going to college?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MrsMoss88
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 8:31 AM
Bump
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
funnymom29
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 8:55 AM

I don't think you are being selfish at all!  What kind of classes are you taking?  Not that it matters really.  Being a SAHM is just as exhausting (if not more so) than working outside the home.  I'm sure he's tired when he gets home but a good man will find the time/energy/motivation to spend a little time with his children no matter what kind of day he had at work.  They are not pets you can just push into the backyard and forget about.   They need daddy time too!  This might sound incredibly silly but recently my dh and I were having a REALLY difficult time and I actually sat down and wrote him this really long email detailing my feelings about things.  He read it and said he really understood what I was saying.  I think it helped because it's hard to step back and accept what someone is trying to tell you if you are in the middle of an arguement and you're both emotional.  Sitting and reading the email all alone without me there let him think about what I was saying and see it from my point of view.  I don't know either of you but if you think he'll actually read it, it might be worth a shot.   Good luck and I hope things get better for you.

Liams_mommy10
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 8:58 AM
No your not being selfish. My husband is also in the military and when he is home the kids are mainly his responsibility. I do not work but I think that since he is in the military he should spend as much time as possible with the kids because we never know when he could get sent somewhere and not be able to see the kids for a while. I also need a break from the kids once in a while...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
liz.1986
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 8:59 AM

No, I don't think you're being selfish.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN