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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

my husband got transferred and doesnt like his job..any ideas on how to support him?

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 3:18 PM
  • 15 Replies

he has a desk job now..with the county, still, but he hates it.  hopefully its only temporary..he used to work nights, now hes working long day hours with a 2 1/2 hour commute. i feel soooo bad for him..anything that i can do  or say to support him?  i told him that im praying and i try to be positive, like, "i am sure there is a better job around the corner" (hes working on a bach degree and graduates in a year). i pack his lunch and have his dinner ready for him..i wont expect him to do anything around the house, really..any ideas ladies? he looks so tired and depressed when he gets home..just not my husband AT ALL.

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 3:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ToniTennille
by Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 3:25 PM

:( I'm really sorry he is struggling with this. Commuting sucks. We ended up moving closer because it was sucking money out of our pockets because of the price of gas. $200 a week for one car. I don't really have any suggestions because moving isn't always an options for most. I just hope it gets better and just keep doing what your are doing for him. Hugs

mamaistheword87
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 3:27 PM
You sound like a great wife.

Point out all positives about this job (anything you can think of), and highlight any negatives of the old one (and blow them out of proportion too), so he feels this is what was best for him, not just bc a manager thought so.
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snakesNsnails
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 3:57 PM

thank you..yes..its a ton of gas, especially since he used to work nights, so he would take my van to save gas. now hes working days and i need the van so he takes his gas hog truck.

Quoting ToniTennille:

:( I'm really sorry he is struggling with this. Commuting sucks. We ended up moving closer because it was sucking money out of our pockets because of the price of gas. $200 a week for one car. I don't really have any suggestions because moving isn't always an options for most. I just hope it gets better and just keep doing what your are doing for him. Hugs


snakesNsnails
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 3:57 PM

thank you so much and thats a wonderful idea!! i will start brainstorming!

Quoting mamaistheword87:

You sound like a great wife.

Point out all positives about this job (anything you can think of), and highlight any negatives of the old one (and blow them out of proportion too), so he feels this is what was best for him, not just bc a manager thought so.


mamaistheword87
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 4:03 PM
I love your attitude!

Also, how about getting him a satelite radio as a present (kill time driving), or, take him to the library and rent some audio books. Sherlock Holmes mysteries are fun and kill time. Or, other educational audio books can help (perhaps related to his area of study?). When I used to walk 2 miles to university in the UK, I would read my lecture notes into an audio recorder, and listen on the way to school so I could study and walk. I also started getting religious podcasts from EWTN and used it as a time to pray and meditate. It became my favorite thing to do.


Quoting snakesNsnails:

thank you so much and thats a wonderful idea!! i will start brainstorming!


Quoting mamaistheword87:

You sound like a great wife.

Point out all positives about this job (anything you can think of), and highlight any negatives of the old one (and blow them out of proportion too), so he feels this is what was best for him, not just bc a manager thought so.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sew4fun
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 4:05 PM

This is good !

Quoting mamaistheword87:

You sound like a great wife.

Point out all positives about this job (anything you can think of), and highlight any negatives of the old one (and blow them out of proportion too), so he feels this is what was best for him, not just bc a manager thought so.


sew4fun
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 4:24 PM

Ok you are already doing two things I was going to suggest ( making lunch and having dinner ready when he gets home) Maybe make some special treats for him to put in his lunch or have sitting in the seat of the car when get gets in it ( like his fave cookie,cake,brownie etc..)You could also leave little notes for him letting him know how much you appriciate him . If part of the frustration is the extra money being spent on gas you can look for other ways/areas to cut out money to make it easier. Why do you need the van ? I am asking because if you do not need it every day maybe he can take the van a few days a week and the truck the remaining days. Since he is stressed you can make sure he has as little stress at home as possible.

snakesNsnails
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 5:32 PM

these are great ideas..i am going to make him a couple of cd's of his favorite songs..he loves christian radio but cant stand all the talking.  thank u!

Quoting mamaistheword87:

I love your attitude!

Also, how about getting him a satelite radio as a present (kill time driving), or, take him to the library and rent some audio books. Sherlock Holmes mysteries are fun and kill time. Or, other educational audio books can help (perhaps related to his area of study?). When I used to walk 2 miles to university in the UK, I would read my lecture notes into an audio recorder, and listen on the way to school so I could study and walk. I also started getting religious podcasts from EWTN and used it as a time to pray and meditate. It became my favorite thing to do.


Quoting snakesNsnails:

thank you so much and thats a wonderful idea!! i will start brainstorming!


Quoting mamaistheword87:

You sound like a great wife.

Point out all positives about this job (anything you can think of), and highlight any negatives of the old one (and blow them out of proportion too), so he feels this is what was best for him, not just bc a manager thought so.

 



snakesNsnails
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 5:38 PM

we may be able to swing a day here and there that i dont need the van.  we have three kids in sports and so i do alot of taxi-ing. i am going to start cooking more at home and eating out less..that will help a bunch for saving money and yes, i dont want to have much stress at home..unfortunately our two yo old has had a stomach virus since he began his new job and all was ok, until i lost it lastnight..poo and vomit everywhere..including me and my hair after just getting all pretty for dh. argh..i wish i could have a do over on that one..i send him sweet texts throughout the day, but little notes and special treats are great ideas!  i really do want him to know how much i appreciate all that he does!!!  thank you so much!

Quoting sew4fun:

Ok you are already doing two things I was going to suggest ( making lunch and having dinner ready when he gets home) Maybe make some special treats for him to put in his lunch or have sitting in the seat of the car when get gets in it ( like his fave cookie,cake,brownie etc..)You could also leave little notes for him letting him know how much you appriciate him . If part of the frustration is the extra money being spent on gas you can look for other ways/areas to cut out money to make it easier. Why do you need the van ? I am asking because if you do not need it every day maybe he can take the van a few days a week and the truck the remaining days. Since he is stressed you can make sure he has as little stress at home as possible.


lovingmommy4316
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 1:35 AM
Let him vent about his day & tell him how much you love him every day. As long as he knows he has your support it will all work out in time. They say everything happens for a reason. You keep smiling & doing what your doing !
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