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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Will this eventually hurt our marriage?

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:44 AM
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1 mom liked this

My husband is very non-social. He has no friends here in this town. He has a couple around the country from college, but that's all. He does not have any hobbies or anyone he hangs out with. He works about 50 hours a week and sleeps when he is off and then we just hang out and do things as a family. I love being with him and having family time. I am just worried that he will lose himself if he doesn't find friends to talk to or share hobbies with. He seems normal and not sad or depressed, but how can that be? I know it's a lonely feeling not having friends. How can he not feel that too? I asked him the other day if he is depressed and he said no. He is a very smart person and spends most of his time off with us and researching stuff online. I really hope he is happy and that he is satisfied with his life.

I just don't have the heart to tell him that he has no friends or hobbies and he needs to change his social habits. I don't want to hurt his feelings.

What do you think?


EDIT***  I would never let this issue get in the way of our marriage. I just mean will it put a strain on it. I would never consider divorce over this, at all. I love him so very much and just want his happiness and contentmen in life. He is such a great person and I am so proud to be his wife. But we all have our little issues we deal with, right?

10 year old and 3 month old...it doesn't get any better than this!big smile mini

by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
luv.my.kids.365
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:47 AM
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If you do something socialable, invite him. Let him know the door is always open. But never push. My hubs is the same way. It makes no sense to me but he is happy that way. And much more comfortable.

tanksgirl
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:48 AM
1 mom liked this

i think as long as hes happy let him be....my df has friends that he used to hang out with alot but he also working long hours now and when he is home he sleeps or spends time with me and the kids...just let him kno that if he wants to find some friends or do something alone its ok with you and leave it up to him just my opinion

<3 Tanksgirl <3

CameronsMommy23
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:48 AM
I think it's important for men and women to have hobbies and friends. Independent interests help build confidence and give spouses a break from each other. My dh is less social then I am but he goes out when the opportunity presents itself. I've learned not to push him though, if he wants to he will go.
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LuvCoopins
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:48 AM
6 moms liked this
Some people enjoy being alone and dont care to be very social. Im sorta that way. I like going to do stuff sometimes but would much rather hang around w my family and nap when I can lol. If he says hes happy and not depressed...i say leave him be :)
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Due9
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:49 AM
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I know what you mean, but honestly, he is so quiet when I do invite him that it makes me very uneasy and uncomfortable and I can't be myself. I don't want him to come with me and the girls. I just wish he would find his own buddies :) but it's good to know I'm not the only wife feeling like this

Quoting luv.my.kids.365:

If you do something socialable, invite him. Let him know the door is always open. But never push. My hubs is the same way. It makes no sense to me but he is happy that way. And much more comfortable.


10 year old and 3 month old...it doesn't get any better than this!big smile mini

sashes
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:50 AM
2 moms liked this
My husband is the same way.. He's anti socia, doesn't have any friends or hobbies and spends his free time looking up thing on the Internet. If he is happy and says he's not depressed then I wouldn't press it. I know for a fact that I would need friends and hobbies.. I totally understand where your coming from. Sometimes I'd like him to have friends and hobbies...
arose74
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:50 AM
My husband is the same way. I nicely encourage him to go play poker or have a few drinks with co-workers. If he still won't go I make sure to give him alone time every week.
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misslady80013
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:51 AM
I agree!

Quoting LuvCoopins:

Some people enjoy being alone and dont care to be very social. Im sorta that way. I like going to do stuff sometimes but would much rather hang around w my family and nap when I can lol. If he says hes happy and not depressed...i say leave him be :)
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MrsImperfect
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:51 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm like that. My hubby has friends and very social and does things with his family (us) and friends. I have no friends maybe a couple i don't go out or do anything just hang out with the family and the kids. Nothing is wrong with me and if I want to change that I will. And he doesn't force me to change or even suggest it cause I can make my own decisions. Just because someone like us is on the non-social side doesn't mean anything is wrong or will be wrong
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Due9
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:51 AM

Exactly :)

Quoting sashes:

My husband is the same way.. He's anti socia, doesn't have any friends or hobbies and spends his free time looking up thing on the Internet. If he is happy and says he's not depressed then I wouldn't press it. I know for a fact that I would need friends and hobbies.. I totally understand where your coming from. Sometimes I'd like him to have friends and hobbies...


10 year old and 3 month old...it doesn't get any better than this!big smile mini

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