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Will this eventually hurt our marriage?

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My husband is very non-social. He has no friends here in this town. He has a couple around the country from college, but that's all. He does not have any hobbies or anyone he hangs out with. He works about 50 hours a week and sleeps when he is off and then we just hang out and do things as a family. I love being with him and having family time. I am just worried that he will lose himself if he doesn't find friends to talk to or share hobbies with. He seems normal and not sad or depressed, but how can that be? I know it's a lonely feeling not having friends. How can he not feel that too? I asked him the other day if he is depressed and he said no. He is a very smart person and spends most of his time off with us and researching stuff online. I really hope he is happy and that he is satisfied with his life.

I just don't have the heart to tell him that he has no friends or hobbies and he needs to change his social habits. I don't want to hurt his feelings.

What do you think?


EDIT***  I would never let this issue get in the way of our marriage. I just mean will it put a strain on it. I would never consider divorce over this, at all. I love him so very much and just want his happiness and contentmen in life. He is such a great person and I am so proud to be his wife. But we all have our little issues we deal with, right?

10 year old and 3 month old...it doesn't get any better than this!big smile mini

by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 12:44 AM
Replies (21-30):
Daeraelle
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 2:20 AM
A lot of social situations make me uncomfortable and anxious. My DH is the same way. Unless we're drinking. However, now that our drinking days are years behind us, we spend time together as a family. We go everywhere and do everything together. DH, DD, and I. Now we're opening our own store, so we will also be working together. Socially, we have friends that are couples with kids that we hang out with. People that we both get along with. The longer we stay together the more we become homebodies. We're happy being with each other.
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rawzle
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 2:32 AM
Reminded me of the movie: I love you, man :)
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Fields456
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2012 at 2:34 AM

some ppl are just not very social and like to be home bodies  and it just doesnt bother them at all.   as long as he doesnt prevent you from having friends and doing things you like 

ChefMomOf3_83
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 2:37 AM
My husband is the same way!! He does have a couple of hobbies but he doesn't find much time to spend on them. But I feel like we are very happy and well adjusted. Men don't overthink life like we do ;)
cole679
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 3:21 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm this way too. I don't have many friends but I have plenty of hobbies. Sometimes I feel so boring because I'm not social, I have social anxiety and public events sometimes bother me, I get nervous and uncomfortable. I go places with family but I'd rather stay home than go out if I'm alone.

Quoting LuvCoopins:

Some people enjoy being alone and dont care to be very social. Im sorta that way. I like going to do stuff sometimes but would much rather hang around w my family and nap when I can lol. If he says hes happy and not depressed...i say leave him be :)
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midjet117
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 4:06 AM
i think if he is happy, leave it at that. I dont know how many posts i read on here about how some husbands treat the women on here like crap, or is cheating, or would rather jack off to porn than have sex with them.
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Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2012 at 5:10 AM

His job and his family are enough for him for now,and he's an introvert,sounds like. My husband is the same way,and it didn't bother me when the kids were young,because we were so busy with them,but now I wish he had some hobbies or more friends.

goddess829
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2012 at 6:51 AM

Leave him be.  In high school I didn't need (or want) much human interaction.  Going to work and school is enough interaction for me.  Going to a party is more stimulation than I like.  For me, one of the biggest negatives in marriage and motherhood is that I am never alone.  Some people are just like that.

MomToovey
by Marianne on Apr. 18, 2012 at 7:39 AM

 I think it's great for your marriage! He's spending time with you and the family instead of someone else!

My DH does have friends at work. But he doesn't hang out with them. His time off is for me and DD. I love it! We crave time with him and I feel so blessed that he WANTS to be home with us. We do go out and do things - eat out, play mini golf, go swimming, etc. but it's together as a family. His family is what matters now. His time to himself to and from work, AT work, and researching is where he gets to hold on to "himself" and his time with his family is where he gets to grow.

liz.1986
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 8:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Maybe he's happy with no friends and no hobbies. Why does he NEED to change his social habits? If he's happy, why try to fix what isn't broken?

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