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My in laws want us to basically get a loan for them. HELP!!!

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:43 AM
  • 23 Replies
My husband and I had been married a short time when our building sold and we were in the market for a house. Neither of us had stellar credit so his parents bought us a house and we were told it would be set up on a land contract. At the time, his parents were fairly wealthy and owned a flourishing business. They never set us up on land contract, a detail I was hesitant to bring up as a new member of the family. Fast forward and the economic crash happened. My FIL lost the business and they are now heavily in debt to the tune of 1 million. Since day one, we have paid for the mortgage. Recently, on top of the mortgage payment we have been paying the property taxes which was sprung on us and brings our monthly payments to 1.5 times what they were. We are in the process of officially buying the house from my in-laws. They, at first, said we could buy it for the remainder of the mortgage loan. Once we started working with lenders we find out that they had refinanced without our knowledge and acquired a debt with the bank that has the house's mortgage loan. THE DILEMMA: they want us to tack on about 20k to our loan to buy the house so they can pay off part of their debt to the bank.
I've thought and prayed about this and I am okay with helping them out. However, they refuse to acknowledge that this a huge favor on our parts. They act like it's no big deal that we have gotten screwed out of tax exemptions, equity and will now be paying interest on a loan for them.
I don't want to resent my husband or his family for this but I'm starting to wonder if this is the right choice.
If we don't buy the house there is no way his parents can afford the payments onto of their mounting bills.
I want to be at peace with this because they are family and I do love them but I can't help but feel used.
Any thoughts???
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Due9
by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:05 PM

Do what is best for your family. Don't get into any contracts or loans, etc just to please them or out of guilt. You will be better off in the long run if you do the smart thing.

kpc44
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:05 AM

Don't do it. It is not worth it. My parents moved into a house my husband I owned. They were supposed to buy the house within 18 months back in 2003.  My parents stopped making the entire payment (they would give us partial payment) and in the end my husband and I filed Chapter 13 bankruptcy. After 5 years of paying ALL of our debts and 2 years of sitting in limbo after getting out of Chapter 13, we still can't get a car loan or a home loan for a house we have been renting for 3 years. We paid the property insurance and the yearly taxes on the house. Our credit was ruined and we have lost A LOT of money. Looking back, my husband and I should have told my parents we were selling the house since they couldn't make the entire payment and did not buy the house. My parents owe us around $15,00-$20,000. We will probably never see it. This eats at me every day and makes me sick to think about it. It is very hard on a daily basis knowing what we sacrificed and did not get anywhere. Not to mention the damage to our credit. It is a very difficult situation to deal with. I would have rather dealt with my parents being mad at me than deal with the financial burden we have been dealing with for so many years. I will NEVER again deal with family when it comes to money or houses. In the end, you have to look at you, your husband and your kids and do what is BEST for you guys. Your in-laws should NOT put you and your husband in that position and they should not expect you guys to take out extra money for the loan. That is so wrong in more than one way. We sold the house my parents lived in last August through a short sale. Now we have to claim the $13,000 we owed after selling the house for less than we owed as income. So, we owe the IRS about $3000 this year due to the 13 thousand loss from the house. It is a big mess. I wish I could go back and change things. My husband and I have lost money left and right over this house. Honestly, if your in-laws are in debt to the tune of 1 million, the 20,000 extra they owe the bank is a drop in the bucket. You and your husband do not need to get entangled in your in-laws financial mess. My parents are my parents and I love them, but I resent the fact they did not hold up their end of the financial deal and totally screwed up my husband's life,my life and my 2 son's lives.

katienmary
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:07 AM
1 mom liked this

Nope they are adults and need to do it ALL on their own. PERIOD

daisymae0
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 2:05 AM
4 moms liked this
Family are the usually the first to screw people out of money. No one ever thinks it until it happens. Family supposed to take care of family right? My aunt screwed up my sister's and I inheritance from my grandparents (long story) while her kids got theirs. They need to take care of their business on their own and not involve anyone else
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Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 5:58 AM

If you like the house,and it's close to worth the price,then do it,then will his parents be not involved any more? If they're still involved I'd forget it. Any house you buy you'll have to pay property taxes on.

yourpassion
by Kristen on Apr. 29, 2012 at 6:46 AM
People make money evil.

Good luck! I don't really have any advice, sorry!
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ck1021
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 7:35 AM
1 mom liked this

Dont do it...you will regret it.  The fact that they refinanced without your knowledge tells me they are only out for themselves and really dont care about what goes on with you and your husband.  You need to speak up to your husband and let him know your feelings.  They offered to buy you a house, you did not ask them to do it, you have paid the mortgage and done your part.  They are taking advantage.

On another note, if you can sell the house and get another without having them involved at all I would do that.

edelweiss23
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 7:36 AM

Long before my husband and I married, he co signed a student loan for his brother.  his brother is late all the time and it screws with his( my husbands) credit.  My advice is don't do it. 

Tea4Tas
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 7:42 AM

O.K. inititally they were paying the property taxes on your home.   You owe them that money. And if someone else was deducting the intrest on the mortgage you were paying, then they were committing tax fraud.

IF they took out a second  mortgage on the house, you won't get clear title unless you pay that off along with the initial balance.

Do you have enough money for a down payment on another house? Because that is your option, To buy elsewhere, and have your inlaws sell the house you live in.

BannerElkHogans
by Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 8:07 AM

darlin I think that what u said in that las bit of the conversation .........you just answered your own ??????   I wouldn't do it because it's not worth driving ur marriage into the ground because of 2 other people, I understand you wanting to Help.............but their come's a time in people live's where they need to help thereselves an stop expecting someone else to help em out!!!!!!!!!!     You'll know when you've had enough..........but really .......let your in-laws an their problem be their problems not you an your new husbands problems

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