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Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:58 PM
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What do you do when a man suddenly shows his jealous side?  Are all men insecure?  Is it flattering at first but then it becomes annoying and chips away at the feelings you have?

An old boyfriend has made my man so insecure and I haven't even talked to him since I've been in this relationship.  Yet I get grilled about my feelings for him and have even been accused of seeing him!  Ugh I love this new man but how can I put his fears aside?

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:58 PM
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by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:18 PM


by Ruby Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:22 PM

My husband gets jealous from time to time and I love it.  Sometimes he goes a little crazy but at least he shows he cares.  He doesn't accuse me of things though.  He just becomes suddenly more attentive and affectionate, he'll go after the guy and I have to tell him to just let it go, things like that.  He's never been jealous of one of my exes though.  I was of his ex and it took me a long time to get over.  She was his first love and I was pushing him away with my needyness. 

by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:44 PM

My husband has nothing at all to be jealous of.  I have no contact with any of my ex's and have never given him a reason not to trust me. 

by Silver Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 6:25 AM

I don't know,but that would be very annoying! Has he been "cheated on" in the past?

by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 6:37 AM
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In my opinion this is not cute the whole "he is jealous or insecure". Everyone has a little jealousy in them but to continue to hound you for no reason is absurd. I'd sit down and voice your concerns and tell him if he feels that insecure...maybe he should move on.

**A family mbr was in a relationship that started like this then she started getting abused, this isn't your situation but I'm always hesitant of the overly protective, excessivley jealous male/female***
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by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 7:07 AM

Yes very good advise, I don't think it's cute at all.  I was in a terrible marriage for 20 years and he did that bullcrap too it never stopped.  I've told him how I feel about it, how it reminds me of my ex, how he has nothing to worry about, how he needs to trust me or it's pointless to continue.  Yes he was cheated on though he talks very little about it.  Also his mother cheated on his father and that's what broke up the marriage.  So in general I begin to wonder is this man damaged beyond repair?  I would hope not, cause lots of people said I was damaged due to abuse from my ex.   I can only hope that he will stop this, my feelings for him are being affected from his jealous rants.

by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 7:11 AM
My DH has never shown me he was jealous at all.
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by Michele on Apr. 26, 2012 at 7:12 AM
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An accusing, grilling man is not cute it is the signs of possessive abuse. I would sit down and reassure him one more time and make it plain that you don't like it and wouldn't ever do that. If he brings it up again I am sorry honey get out while you can.

by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 7:13 AM
Overly jealous isn't good, but I can tell you from experience that apathy is worse. My STBX didn't care at all who I spoke to or what I said to them (not that I did, and if he tried to say he DID care it was only because he was a cheater himself and tried to turn the focus onto me), and at first I thought it was sweet that he trusted me so much, but then I realized that it was because he just didn't care. However, if this is a new relationship for you and he's already acting jealous and accusing you, I would back up and take things slower until you can accurately gauge if he's over-the-top or not.
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by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 7:14 AM
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My dh doesn't really get jealous or protective. He just pulls me aside and tells me what's on his mind. I couldn't stand having him jealous or insecure.
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