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HELP;(ADVICE young marriage

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:34 PM
  • 74 Replies

I am 17years old and my boyfriend is 22 and we want to get married once I graduate and 18. BUT I have tried being open about our engagement and wedding but no one wants to listen or even aknowledge him. He has done nothing wrong besides take care of me and love me. I just dont know why they cant be happy for me. How old were you when you got married?Was your family happy?how many times have you been married?any kids ?


I really need advice on what you did and how you handled it b/c I feel like I'm going to blow.

Thanks for taking your time to read this and comment

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Tinkerbellmama
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:38 PM
1 mom liked this

I was 18 when I got married. It's my first and only marriage. It'll be 10 years in July. We have 4 amazing kids. We've had our issues here and there, but overall have had many more ups than downs.

ambermario4ever
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:40 PM
1 mom liked this

i got married at 18 and hubby was 19 we have been married 6 years next month and we have 2 kids. my mom wasn't happy but that was because i was moving away and not going to stay and live with her and support her. everyone one else was happy for me. look it doesn't matter what you family thinks it is your life and you choice as long as you are happy that is all that matters just make sure it is what you realy want before you do it. 

NataliaLinny
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:44 PM

were you guys scared?

TrentonGirl
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:46 PM
I met my dh in jan2010 i was 19 at the time. I turned 20 in aug2010. We had our first child in oct2010 and married in dec2010. In june of this yr we will welcome our 2nd child into the world. When we first told our families we were gonna get married no one really believed we were gonna really do it. They all thought it was to early. We didnt have a wedding we just went to the court house and got married. We gave a weeks notice and if they wanted to show up they could. Only like 4 people did. But in the end it wasnt about them being happy it was about us.
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ambermario4ever
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:50 PM


Quoting NataliaLinny:

were you guys scared?

i wasn't scared about getting married i knew he was the right one for me but when we found out we where having a baby i was nerves at first

toddler girl                         toddler boy

         Sarah                                           Luciano

      (10-16-06)                                  (11-27-08)

amclark62
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:50 PM

I got engaged at 18 and married at 19.  We had our first kid when I was 19 also.  We have been married for 3 years and now have two kids.  My family was the same way.  It felt like they didn't care a bit about our plans.  They didn't like my husband...I was 16 and he was 20 when we met.  They didn't like that he was that much older than me.  (I personally don't think that 4 years is that big of a difference, but in highschool, I can see why my parents weren't excited about it.)  I'm still sure that they don't like him. I think your family may just be concerned about what else you have planned for the future.  School, career, etc.  They are just looking out for your best interest.  I would keep trying to include them in your plans.  My husband and I ended up running to Las Vegas and getting married, and looking back now, I would have loved to have my mom go wedding dress shopping with me and have family go with me to look at venues, but I chose to not include her in any of our decisions.  It is up to you.  I hope this helps a little.  Good luck! :)  

BonitaM
by Ruby Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:52 PM

I met my husband when I was 18 and we married at 19.  No one was supportive of our relationship and the only advice we got was there's always divorce.  We eloped and 10 years later I'm still very much inlove with him.  We've gone through a lot in our 10 years but our love for each other has kept us going.  We have one daughter and she'll be 7 in September.  She's the center of our world.

TTC.A.SON
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:52 PM
There probably not excepting him because they feel like ya'll are to young.. So if your happy & he's happy & if y'all have a healthy relationship & he treats u like a queen then get married & don't worry what they say!! In time when they see y'all happy with carriers a house & loving family they will except him:)

I met my DH in high school We were both 17..

I got pregnant with our 1st dd at 18 gave birth at 19 got prego again at 22, gave birth at 23 with dd #2!!! :) everyone thought we wouldn't last.. & we proved everyone wrong & still are :D

Good luck!!!
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unsuspected
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:56 PM
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My husband was 19 and I was 20 when we got married.  Our son was 9 days old the day we got married.  I knew he was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with, but there was also pressure from the family because we had a child together. 

Anyway, in your case ... at SEVENTEEN ... why not wait?  Why rush?  If he's the guy you will be with forever, why not wait a little to grow up a bit? 

Seriously, no offence.  I know this is real love to you and this is your real life.  But as an outsider ... even though you are are just one year away from legal adulthood, you are still a child in many ways. Have you ever held a full time job?  Seen a rent, utility or grocery bill?  How about college?  What are your plans with that?  How long have you even been together? 

Look, I'm not straight out telling you you're too immature.  I met a couple just this past weekend who got married when they were 14 and they were celebrating 20 years together and soon to be grandparents.    My husband and I just honored our 10 years together with a Vow Renewal since we never had a real wedding the first time.  It CAN happen.  But most likely won't.  The divorce rate is what it is for people of ALL ages, but it's an uphill battle for people who aren't emotionally ready for it. 

Your friends and family probably aren't taking you seriously because they have a bit more perspective than you. 

I say Wait. 

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ctfirsttimemom
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:03 PM
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I got engaged at 22, married at 23.  Hubby is a year older then me.  If I had gotten engaged at 17 to a 22 year old, no one in my family would have been happy either.  Honestly, I'd probably be divorced now too.  I did a lot of growin g up and changing in those college years.

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