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25 marriage tips (good read)

Posted by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:44 AM
  • 56 Replies
12 moms liked this

I've recently come across a blog/site that I really like called To Love, Honor, & Vacuum!   The woman that writes it is an author and apparently writes a column for a newspaper somewhere in Cananda too.   Anyway, she has some pretty good ideas and thought this was worth sharing.  These are tips for women AND men.

WHICH ARE YOUR FAVORITES?   Do you agree or disagree with these?

Quote: http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2010/05/25-marriage-tips/

With June, the wedding month, peeking around the corner at us, I thought it was time to present you with twenty-five tips for a successful marriage, to help a wife make her husband happy, and a husband make a wife happy. And so, in no particular order, here is my accumulated wisdom, little as it may be:

1. Talk to your spouse more kindly than you talk to anyone else in the world. Too often we speak the most harshly to those closest to us.

2. Remember that marriage is less about marrying the right person and more about becoming the right person.

3. Don’t forget to laugh. Most couples spend the majority of their time talking logistics: who’s doing the grocery shopping, who’s calling the repairman, who’s picking up the kids. A relationship can’t survive on logistics. Have a water fight instead.

4. She needs you to be her best friend. Everyday, talk to her and tell her what you’re thinking. Even if you don’t think you’re thinking about anything. She needs to hear your heart.

5. He needs you to be his cheerleader. Let him know you believe he can take on the world.

6. Find ways to say “I love you” that don’t involve sex.

7. When you dress up, make sure the main person you’re dressing up for is him. And put on lipstick.

8. Leave the toilet seat down.

9. Forgiving means not bringing that old infraction up every time you have a new fight. Let it go.

10. If it’s not solved at 2:30 a.m., it’s not going to be solved at 3:00 a.m. either. Go to sleep. You can deal with it tomorrow, assuming you even remember what the fight was about.

11. When you’re having an argument, listen to understand, don’t listen to find loopholes so you can win. Marriage is either a win/win or a lose/lose. You can’t win by beating someone else down.

12. Your kids come second, not first. Your marriage needs to be number one. Your spouse was there before the kids and will be there after the kids move out. Work on that relationship first.

13. If you haven’t fully committed to your marriage, it won’t succeed. If you’re always testing your spouse, your spouse will always come up short. No one is perfect.

14. You will never drift together. People only ever drift apart. If you want to grow closer, you have to be intentional about it.

15. Let her cry. She needs to every now and then.

16. Don’t bug him if he doesn’t cry. Some men just don’t show their feelings. That’s why they’re men.

17. Don’t say everything that’s on your mind. More marriages would survive if more things went unsaid.

18. Let her be your every fantasy. Keep your eyeballs off everyone else.

19. Let him be your every fantasy. Keep your eyeballs off romance novels.

20. Don’t think he’s gross if he farts. Don’t think she’s pathetic if she obsesses over paint colours. You married someone of the opposite gender. That’s what life is about.

21. Don’t run to your mom if your spouse does something you don’t like. You’re a unit now. Act like it.

22. Make one of your favourite topics of conversation how much you admire your spouse. Tell your kids. Tell your friends. And let your spouse hear.

23. Men would be ecstatic if women showed up naked and brought food. Most women need more than that. Men, make it your goal in life to figure her out. Woo her. She’s worth it.

24. Say yes far more frequently than you say no.

And finally, for you women:

25. Every now and then, jump him.

And may you all live happily ever after.


by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MamatoKy
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:48 AM
3 moms liked this

 12, i do not agree with. Not at all, not even a lil bit. My kids come first, not second. Just because he was there before and will be there after, they are you children, your own flesh and blood. Him....hes just the guy you "fell in love with" and had children with.

kids come frist. no man will ever come frist in my life.

sew4fun
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:52 AM

I do not 100% agree with 12 either.  My kids come first 99% of the time. NOW before you bash me there are times , when you just have to put on a movie or put the kiddos to bed and love on hubby.

mandiNthomas
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:57 AM
Yeah I agree 12 is pushing it...
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CjEmmemommy
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:01 AM
7 moms liked this
These are great! 12 is a100% correct.
Its isnt about who gets the most time with you or who you love more. You arent negecting your children if you put your husband and marriage first, I think its the opposite actually.
Not letting your marriage slip to the back burner for 20+ years while you raise children will show them so much and your a fool if you think there will be anything to come back to after they move out (you will likely have lose yourself and who your spouse is over that time). Having a strong, intentional, solid marriage where you and your spouse are front will give your kids so much more than making them your sole focus.
You need you time, he needs him time and you need togetherness in every sense of the word to be he best most effective parents. To be a unit that your children can respect.
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proudmum23
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:07 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't think they meant forget about your kids or treat them any less. I think they meant you must take care of your marriage and one another and every thing else just falls in place. Too many times you hear stories of couples who after they had kids they drifted apart because they didn't take time for each other. That's what I think she meant by #12. ;)
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Krysden
by Platinum Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:07 AM
4 moms liked this

Yeah, number 12 is a tricky one but I don't necessarily think that it's meant the way it comes across at first glance.

I do think it's important to not let having kids stop you from being friends and lovers.  So often people have children at the expense of their marriage and that's not fair to anybody.... the wife, the husband, OR the kids.   It's important for your kids to see you being affectionate, having conversations and enjoying each others company.   They need to have a good example of what marriage is.

ShesALady
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:08 AM
Bump
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Jen137
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with #12 as well.  I've seen many marriages put on the backburner because they were too busy taking  care of kids and not working on their relationship. The wife becomes unhappy because she feels unappreciated by husband...resentment starts to set in and problems begin..relationships between husband and wife come first.  The kids will see that and actually thrive on it because everyone is happy!

Quoting CjEmmemommy:

These are great! 12 is a100% correct.
Its nitbabiut his gets the most tine with you or who you love more. Its about not letting your marriage slip to the back burnerbfor 20+ years while you raise children. Your a fool of you think there will be anything to come back to. Having a strong, intentional, solid marriage where you and your spouse are front will give your kids so much more than making them your sole focus.
You need you time, he needs him time and you need togetherness in every sense of the world to be he best most effective parents. To be a unit that your children cab respect.


misslady80013
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Took the words right out of my mouth! I agree with you completely.

Quoting MamatoKy:

 12, i do not agree with. Not at all, not even a lil bit. My kids come first, not second. Just because he was there before and will be there after, they are you children, your own flesh and blood. Him....hes just the guy you "fell in love with" and had children with.


kids come frist. no man will ever come frist in my life.

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IansMommy2012
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:17 AM

i agree .. even as much as it might make sense that your marriage did come first and will be there last .. i dont care .. my kids come first .. my dh even agreed to that .. 

Quoting MamatoKy:

 12, i do not agree with. Not at all, not even a lil bit. My kids come first, not second. Just because he was there before and will be there after, they are you children, your own flesh and blood. Him....hes just the guy you "fell in love with" and had children with.

kids come frist. no man will ever come frist in my life.


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