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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Workaholic husband ????

Posted by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:25 PM
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Does anyone else have a workaholic husband who has trouble going from work mode to husband mode????  My husband is a manager and I swear on his days off, he keeps on managing......ME!!!!!  I am a SAHM now...after being a pretty good manager myself as a teacher for 8 years in an urban school).  Our daughter who is 21 mo. and things are peaceful when he has a set schedule and basically is only home 2 hrs. a day before bed....but when he is off, I want to kill the man!  He just has major trouble NOT treating me like a damn employee.  It is like he nit-picks at every little thing from my driving to why I forgot something he likes at the store (I mean, it is my "job", why can't I handle it?)  It is stressful to be around him if we are not actively involved in something like the b-day party we attended today...I had an hour or so of peace.  Unless we are going on vacation somewhere, I dread his days off or vacation time.  I don't know how to get him to stop this behavior!!!!!  It is not cool for our daughter to witness.  Over it!!!!!

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:25 PM
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39holding519
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 11:27 PM
4 moms liked this

Have you told him he treats you like one of his employees and you don't appreciate it and to stop?!  I've found out in 20 years together that I pretty much have to spell everything out.  Even if I hint around out somethinglike sometimes he is condoscending and I will get pissed off and just avoid him or not talk to him all day, he then thinks I'm being a bitch.  If I tell him exactly what he did that is bothering me it seems to make a difference.  If you haven't tried having an honest discussion, I would start there.  And, you're right, it sucks for you and your daughter but I suspect she may not notice it much yet so the sooner you nip it in the but the better!

workoutmom2b1g
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 11:28 PM
2 moms liked this

I tell my husband often, I'm not your employee! :)

momto3isme
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 8:47 AM
Talk to him about it.
Krysden
by Platinum Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:06 AM

  It can be really hard for somebody to "change hats" when they get home.    There are only 24hrs in a day & most people spend more waking hours at work than they do at home most days of the week.   I've known of a lot of SAHM's that have a hard time switching out of "mommy mode" when dealing with their husbands too.   Sit down with him after the little one is asleep and talk to him.    Let him know exactly how you feel and why.   Then brainstorm ways TOGETHER to work on it.

Good Luck. 

happinessforyou
by Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:28 AM
3 moms liked this

Are you "managing" the home and he is not conforming to you? We take a lot of ownership in our schedules when we shift from WM to SAHM and the home becomes our "job". Maybe he is just as frustrated as you are?

Sit down and have an honest talk about it. You can't fix it if you don't know it's broke. He probably has no clue.

Italiana26
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:38 AM

 My husband is a workaholic, working 12 hour days 5 days a week and 5 or 6 hour days on saturdays. But he has no problems going from work mode to husband mode!

mstevens10
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:43 AM

I agree, talk to him about it. He may need a reminder that you are his wife, a life long partner and not a temparary employee.

Dh works alot but when he comes home he doesn't want to do anything because he works so much. He still does things with us and yardwork but he would rather be asleep. 

LovelyLauren55
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:43 AM
My husband is a manager and used to be the same way
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AlmostFamous
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:44 AM
1 mom liked this
Same here! DH owns a contracting business, he's a jerk at work, because he has to be to get the job done right. So he comes home all critical, I put him in his place though! Lol.
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3rd2bedue
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:49 AM

Omgosh i know, when mine comes home from work, he works on the cp. His head is always filled with earning more and never about spending quality time on our family. Very frustrating! 

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