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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

stupid, yes...mad,yes my fault,yes

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 8:30 AM
  • 25 Replies
So my husband is not a big gamer, however, he has a new game that has made him way way obsessive. He plays every moment of free time he has. He stays up way to late, doesn't pay attn to schedules(or a clock at all)
The deal is that on weekend nites, he is to get up if LO wakes up. I am still dealing with a head injury which causes me excruciating headaches and cognative issues...SO he is supposed to get up with and let me get as much rest as possible when he is home.
Last nite, I went to bed at ten, at eleven thirty, I woke up b/c he wasn't in bed yet. at twelve, he comes to bed and I mention the obsession and he mumbles some sort of an apology and falls asleep. Not a half an hour later, guess who starts crying? Does he get up? no. Does he even stir? no. So I go in and LO is soaked! ....and, of course by the time I get him cleaned up, also very awake. So we spent the nite in the living room.
You want to know the pathetic part? The reason I didn't kick him out of bed to follow our agreement? Because some over emotional side took over that said "aww, but he just laid down!" I feel so stupid, we have to talk about that game....I didn't marry an obsessive gamer and I'll not have him morph into one!
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 8:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
DaciaLangford
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 8:53 AM

 My hubby used to play non-stop sometimes when we met. When we moved in together I told him no games. I explained that I was not about to play second fiddle to a game. I also did not want my kids growing up hooked on them. I stuck to this for 8 years. Then a couple years ago I let my hubby buy a Wii to play with our boys. I figured it's more of an active thing and it wouldn't be the same as sitting for hours on end mindlessly shooting people. I didn't realize when I agreed to it that those games were also available on Wii. I thought it was just the active ones. Anywho...flashforward to today. Hubby convinced me again that the "kids" needed an Xbox with Kinnect so they could play games like Just Dance and stuff. And here we are again, kids hardly ever get to play because he's always playing war games. We got in a huge fight the other day because he let my 8 year old play MW3. I told him if that ever happens again the entire game system will go out with the trash. Hubby just got laid off a couple months ago and now he wants to stay up all night playing this garbage and sleep all day. He is not productive at all. My house is always dirty even though he's here 24/7 and I'm working mad hours trying to keep the bills paid. The kids run amok all the time because he's got his head in the damn game. You are not alone in this problem. My solution is to get rid of it completely, but I know right now it's his way of coping with his job loss. It is going to come to a head soon and I know it will lead to a huge fight. I hope you can find a way to deal with your issue easier! Not much advice here, but just wanted you to know you are not alone.

Krysden
by Platinum Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:02 AM

Good Luck

caylin23
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:50 AM
Ugh that sucks. But I think you should try and speak to him about it since you need rest
2rays0fsun
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:57 AM

I don't think that's a healthy way to cope with job loss. It's probably making his mental/emotional state worse, as far as being unemployed. so you should just address it now imho... I want to say just take it all and dump/donate it while he's asleep lol but that's kind of cruel lol. gl

Quoting DaciaLangford:
2rays0fsun
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:58 AM

OP I think you should have a serious talk. See if he'll agree to turning it off during certain time/hours? So he can help with your LO.

CountryStrong84
by Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:59 AM
Man I'm sorry. I couldn't be with someone like that.
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luv.my.kids.365
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:44 AM

As a gamer.. *mom confession, no bashing please* Being a gamer and addicted to one is a horrible thing. It's something I am good at, and enjoy. And seperate from the rest of my life. Sooo, I finally realized what was happening all around me. My hubs started doing stuff without me but with the kids. The kids would tell me all about it. Then he started telling me how big the kids are getting and what kind of stuff they are doing. WTF?!?!? I missed it?!?! *cries* I realized I was missing out... Now I play when they are in bed. Less playtime, but hot damn. I love my kids and they only grow up once. Also, make him do his part. And when he complains about being tired, don't show him sympathy, point him to the coffee pot. Offer to remind him when it's time to shut dopwn. It may get ugly a few times, but as that little baby gets bigger he will see what a fool he is.

misslady80013
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:55 AM
Honestly, I play video games too. I kick ass on the Wii, lol! I don't play nearly as much as your dh does though. I haven't touched it until a soon after New Year's. He plays wayyyy too much and your house should not be dirty if he is there all day, no excuses and he doesn't get a pass for being a man or unemployed. It doesn't sound like he's even looking for a job. Am I right? He needs to tighten up and handle business. I was always taught if a man doesn't work, he doesn't eat. So sorry you are going through this.
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lezgirl0109
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:01 AM
Toss the games out.
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AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:32 AM
1 mom liked this

I would take the game and hide it while he's sleeping.  But I'm mean like that.  It's unacceptable for a person to allow a hobby to consume then in such a way that they can no longer function in day to day life. 

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