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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

I don't know what to do anymore (Updated) (Second Update)

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My DF just told me that he wants to postpone the wedding. He didn't even want that until his mom suggested it. He says that he still loves me and still wants to get married and all but I don't know what to think. He went from wanting to have the wedding in December to wanting to wait for another year. He had already promised me that we would move to Georgia in about a year. So now I don't know if that is on hold too. :( I am at a total loss on what to say and do about this. I feel like that he is only wanting to postpone to make his mom happy. He says that we can still have our engagement picnic. We were suppose to get our engagement pics done that day but our photographer changed his mind just because me and DF had an argument on Saturday. Yes DF tells his family about our problems but then tells me not to tell anyone. It sucks like hell. I just don't know what to do

I forgot to mention that I did talk to him about it and told him how I felt but he still wants to postpone and I feel like he brushing my thoughts and feelings aside

Well DF talked to his mom last night. She is turning his entire family against him just because she can't over our (mine and DF's) fight from Saturday. It has been almost a week and she is still mad about it. DF tells me not to let her stress me out (I get sick when I get upset or stressed) but it's hard not to. I told him that we probably lost the dress that she was giving to me but he says that we haven't. She gave me her word in getting it pressed for me but I doubt that that will happen now. I swear I hate family drama. I hate all drama. If this doesn't clear up soon I am moving back to GA. I can't take this much longer.


by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 9:40 PM
Replies (11-17):
i.heart.myboys
by on May. 1, 2012 at 8:32 AM
I'm so sorry mama. I would talk to him you feel about it
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3nhvn1onearth
by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:16 AM

Me and DF have problems (just like every couple) but apparently ours are worth giving up everything we have planned. DF tried to tell me that his mom would calm down and would be there at the picnic we have planned for next weekend. She still hasn't. 

Quoting DemocraticMama:

Wow I don't know what I can say to help.  I would tell him to get his priorities figured out.  why does his mother want the wedding postponed?


DemocraticMama
by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:49 PM

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this.  Can you talk to his mother and find out what her problem is? Ugghh I know about controlling mothers and momma boy husbands/boyfriends. I married one! his mother still thinks she can make all "our" decisions. 

Quoting 3nhvn1onearth:

Me and DF have problems (just like every couple) but apparently ours are worth giving up everything we have planned. DF tried to tell me that his mom would calm down and would be there at the picnic we have planned for next weekend. She still hasn't. 

Quoting DemocraticMama:

Wow I don't know what I can say to help.  I would tell him to get his priorities figured out.  why does his mother want the wedding postponed?



Wife, Mother, Progressive Christian

    

Mrs.Kg8500
by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:38 PM
I agree completely he needs to talk to his mom and tell her to bud out. If he can't stand up to his mom before yall get married...i doubt he will when you do get married.Good luck.


Quoting mahalalove27:

Sounds like a man that needs to get his priorities straight and figure out if he wants to be a husband or a mummy's boy.

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barrelracer1699
by Member on May. 1, 2012 at 2:40 PM

What is his reasonings for postponing?

MomToovey
by Marianne on May. 1, 2012 at 3:22 PM

 If he's being genuine, I support his decision. If he REALLY wants to wait until you two have things figured out, I think that's a remarkably mature thing to do. It's better to figure things out before you get married than find out they won't work after you do. I know many churches offer marital counseling for couples who are about to get married. It's not biblical, so if you aren't religious, it's nothing like that. It's more about both of you figuring out your goals and plans for the future and molding those two sets of ideals into one. I would highly recommend something like that, so the two of you can be on the same page as far as your future together is concerned.

If he's just putting this off to appease his mom, this might not be the road you want to take anyway. His marriage to you is such an important decision, and if he's letting his mommy get in the way of his ability to make that decision, imagine what life will be like for all other decisions he has to make, big or small.

Find out for sure what his reasons are and get to the bottom of this. That will be your answer.

Good luck

3nhvn1onearth
by on May. 1, 2012 at 3:42 PM

Thank you ladies. I appreciate all the advice


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