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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Married 15 years and it's falling apart! ANY ADVICE? PLEASE:)

Posted by on May. 1, 2012 at 8:33 AM
  • 8 Replies

MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 14 YEARS GOING ON 15 IN OCTOBER, IF WE MAKE IT! WE NEED HELP! SOMETIMES I THINK WE ARE BEYOUND HELP BUT I STILL LOVE HIM SO I STILL HAVE HOPE:) WE HAVE A DAUGHTER TOGETHER WHO HAS AUTISM,ADHD,ODD,PDD,NOS. HE WORKS FULL TIME AND I AM AT HOME FULL TIME! I WAS IN NURSING SCHOOL WHEN SHE WAS DIGNOSED AT THE AGE OF 2! I GAVE UP EVERYTHING AND HAVE PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO HER AND SHE IS DOING OK! BUT....I FEEL LIKE I HAVE LOST MYSELF ALONG THE WAY! I FEEL LIKE I AM RAISING HER ALONE! MY HUSBAND HAS ADHD AS WELL SO..... I FEEL SO ALONE ALL THE TIME! I HAVE NO FRIENDS! NO FAMILY SUPPORT, JUST ME:) ANY IDEAS?

:) THANK YOU FOR CHATTING

DD

by on May. 1, 2012 at 8:33 AM
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Replies (1-8):
-mrs.mamma-
by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:07 AM
1 mom liked this

I would look into family counseling. and maybe even seperate counseling for you and your Husband.

it sounds like you've just lost touch with each other. and need to refind yourselves as Husband & Wife.

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lazyd
by Member on May. 1, 2012 at 10:08 AM

Get into counseling and take some time for date nights and days (just a couple of hours) or nights that just YOU can get away.  Does your husband help you out with the household chores or your daughter at all?

39holding519
by on May. 1, 2012 at 10:18 AM

Is there possibly a support group for Moms with children of Autism/ADHD/etc.?  It always helps to share with those in similar situation. You certainly need some support, I know you will get some here but you need someone to help take some of the weight of your shoulders.  You also need some time for you and something for you.. maybe when your daughter is t school... an exercise class, yoga, counseling, shopping, book club, anything!  Your marriage is obviously undergoing big stress so you and your husband also need to work on each... have you had a heart to heart with him?  A date the 2 of you? I've definately been through times like that in my marriage where I thought it might be hopeless and we've gotten through.  I hope you can too!  All the best & HUGS to you!!

jenn75
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 10:43 AM
Spunds like you need councling and a support group.
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my3girlz135
by on May. 1, 2012 at 10:55 AM

you should seek counseling for yourself first. Its impossible to change anyone else and sounds to me like you have been so busy taking care of everyone else that you have put yourself on the backburner and lost what makes you happy. You have a lot on your plate and it would feel good to actually sit and talk to someone instead of feeling so alone.

nicole2884
by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:54 PM

wow talk about stressful

what about support groups for moms with children with autism.  im sure they would have great socials , try meetup.com 

second, sit down with him see if he feels the same way. if so identify the issues an see if you both are willing to work on it, counselling can help

second , do you guys get date nights , if not i highly suggest that, time alone to reconnect 

i hope you guys figure it all out dont give up 15 years is awesome , this is probably just a rough patch 

LovableFox
by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:03 PM

More time on cafemom always helps :) I don't have any friends in real life so i can understand the dilemma :( but honestly being on here is just as good :) if people bother you here you can just block them lol

MomToovey
by Marianne on May. 1, 2012 at 2:46 PM

 I agree. Good luck, momma

Quoting -mrs.mamma-:

I would look into family counseling. and maybe even seperate counseling for you and your Husband.

it sounds like you've just lost touch with each other. and need to refind yourselves as Husband & Wife.

 




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