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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Stupid Argument

Posted by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:25 AM
  • 7 Replies

 OK so I know it sounds stupid but it's really bothering me! Last night my DH asked me what I was going to make for dinner. I told him chicken & broccoli casserole with rice. His response was "I hate that. Why can't you ever make a filling dinner with meat and some sides not all these one dish things.". OMG that made me so mad!! First of all b/c I've made this dish several times over the course of our marriage and he's never complained. Second b/c it's been the same complaint the past couple of months. About once a week there is something I make that he says he hates and that I should know he hates that. He thinks that every meal should be something fatty, fried, mashed potatoes and gravy, etc. I've been dieting since January and have lost a ton of weight and I try to make food that is not only good for my diet but everyone else likes. At least once a week I'll make something for him and my son and not eat just because I know they like it. I'll just make something for myself on the side. So anyway after he made that comment I got mad and he could tell so he went in the room. When I told him dinner was ready he was all "Thanks baby. I really appreciate it, etc. Are you mad?" So I let him know yes, I am mad b/c I bust my ass working all week, picking up the kids afterwards, cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. You NEVER make dinner. When I go grocery shopping I always ask you what you want me to make for dinner and the response is "Whatever you wanna make honey" but then you bitch about what I make! Furthermore, if your Mom had made it you would eat it no problem. (His Mom is where I got the idea from!).

Anyway after I said that last night we didn't really talk to each other. I went for a walk with the kids, did their bath and bedtime routine, etc. This morning he wakes up in a pissy mood. He asks me if I'm still mad and at that point, no I wasn't. I was over it. Oh but he's mad. What did he hear out of all of that last night? I mentioned his Mom. Why do I have to drag his Mom into this and would I please not bring her into any argument. REALLY?? All I said was that you'd eat it because you DO eat ANYTHING your Mom makes regardless of what it is. I love his Mom and we're close. I'm not dissing her. So yeah. I guess all I said about how he never cooks, gives his opinion on what he wants, etc went right over his head. Now I'm not over it anymore and want to call him and give him a piece of my mind but I know it won't do any good. I don't like arguing either.

Should I keep it going or just back off? I mean, him saying he doesn't like something isn't that big of a deal really, but when it's been several things lately, things that I have always made, it just pisses me off. Like he's just trying to find a reason to be an a-hole. I'd tell him fine, I'm not cooking anymore but I have our son that I have to feed. I guess it just really burns me up that I do so much, cooking on top of it, NEVER ask for his help or bitch that he doesn't do anything. But yet he has he balls to complain about what I do, you know?

Sorry for the long post. I think I just needed to get it out. LOL.

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by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:25 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Deelmo01
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:35 AM

Well, he's mad because you brought up his mother?  Well, you ARE his mother.  Why are you waiting on him hand and foot.  He is not a child.  Or is he?  Tell him if he acted like a MAN instead of a CHILD, you wouldn't have to be his mother.  He needs to grow up and pull his weight.  Let him cook, do laundry, and go to the grocery store.  Let him be in charge of the meals.  Tell him to get off his ass and devote his time to his family and quit acting like a spoiled brat.  If he took some initiative in his family like, he could make some decisions like what he wants for dinner.

AustinsMommy860
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:38 AM
1 mom liked this

Good for you for sticking to your diet and losing weight! I really need to do that myself. If I was in your situation I would bring it up again. Point out the fact that he totally missed everything else you were saying. You aren't attacking him or anything, just pointing out that you ask for his opinion and he doesn't care at the time, but then complains when you cook. That isn't fair. He's lucky you even ask what he would like from the grocery store, etc. I would just be honest with him (especially since it wasn't a 1 time thing) and tell him it upsets you. Obviously try to keep the convo as calm as possible. It sounds like you guys have a good relationship so I bet if you approach it right he will be more receptive. If he doesn't quit complaining after that, too bad. Make him eat whatever you cook.

My nephew (fiance's nephew, really) is such a picky eater because his dad is always complaining about everything. There are so many things he won't eat and now the kid (he is 7) won't eat ANYTHING the dad won't eat. It isn't good. If someone doesn't like something that's fine, but don't let the bad eating habits rub off on the kids.

bunnywzrd
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 9:39 AM
1 mom liked this

Make him make supper a couple times a week. He will stop complaining real quick. When he makes something you can't eat because of your diet ask him why he didn't cook anything for you. He will get the point pretty quick.

crystalrbp
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:51 AM
Stop cooking for him. Just make enough for you and your son. If he asks where his is tell him " you don't like this remember?" I had to do that a few times before my husband got the hint. If he don't want to give input on what he wants that night then he needs to be quiet and eat what you make and be grateful that your even cooking for his butt. And yes men sometimes really do find stuff to nitpick at to start an argument. Just like us women do sometimes.
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rebekahmuse
by Member on May. 2, 2012 at 9:56 AM

 I definitely feel like he was just trying to pick something to be angry about. He never used to complain about what I made was just happy that I cooked. That's a good idea though :o)

Quoting crystalrbp:

Stop cooking for him. Just make enough for you and your son. If he asks where his is tell him " you don't like this remember?" I had to do that a few times before my husband got the hint. If he don't want to give input on what he wants that night then he needs to be quiet and eat what you make and be grateful that your even cooking for his butt. And yes men sometimes really do find stuff to nitpick at to start an argument. Just like us women do sometimes.

 

rebekahmuse
by Member on May. 2, 2012 at 10:04 AM

 Of course he just called apologizing and not wanting to argue. Told me he wanted to make sure I had a good day and he was sorry he said anything. So yeah, I let it go. Why am I such a sucker for him?? I do have to say he's always good about apologizing.

Mommy4000
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 10:11 AM
1 mom liked this

When my husband started complaining about what I would make for dinner, I stopped making dinner. I would make just enough for the kids. After a few nights of doing that, he's never commented on anything I've made ever again. I have the same problem with him. He's a southern, meat and potatoes or fry it up with cheese please kind of guy. Well, I just don't eat like that, and prefer my kids didn't either, so my dinners are healthy meals with a lot of veggies. I do cook some things he likes every now and then, but I'm not going to serve a fatty, greasy meal every night for dinner just to fill his gut.

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