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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

How do you show... UPDATE ADDED

Posted by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:16 AM
  • 23 Replies
How do you verbally show your appreciation to your SOs or DHs for helping with the kids?

Earlier today, I told my SO that my job is having a madatory meeting in a couple weeks that I plan on going to. (I am on maternity leave for the rest of the month so I am exempt but as Assistant Manager, I wanna stay in the loop and not hit with a bunch of changes when I get back.) I told him it's on the 15th from 4 to 6 and that I need to find someone to watch him. He gave me a dirty look and said he was insulted and feels like he isn't here. I said I would have to find someone to watch him because my SO doesn't get home until after 4 most times much later. Plus, he harps about money A LOT and didn't want to start an arguement about missing hours equals smaller check stuff. He said he would work something out to sit with our son. I said thank you and he said it sounds like he is doing me a favor and not to thank him.

So, what else can I say to show him that I have noticed he is stepping his game up to help with our son more? Also, do any of your SOs or DHs feel this way? Thanks ladies!

UPDATE

I agree with everyone saying I shouldn't have to thank him because that is what he is suppose to do. I did bitch him out last week because I felt he wasn't doing enough. At that time, our son was 2 weeks old and he really only changed a handful of diapers. I am breastfeeding and want to give him bottles only when I am away from him. So, I feel he can pitch in with everything else. After bitching him out, he has come home and take the baby in the living room so I can nap or whatever I want to do. He is also changing more diapers, burping and playing with him too. I shouldn't have had to bitch him out for this to happen, but it is what it is and I am glad he is being involved more.

His youngest daughter is 15 and has 3 grown daughters so I understand he hasn't done this in a while but I haven't either. He said he was adjusting and that pissed me off because I didn't get to ease into being a mother. One moment I was pregnant and the next moment, they placed my beautiful miracle baby in my arms and now I have to take care of him.

This post was asking for another way to say that I noticed he is trying to be involved more and I appreciate that. Oh, while he was "Adjusting" he did 90% of the housework and that's great, but I want a better balance. Yes, this is new because he only has girls and this is my first baby. I say we both haven't done this in a while because I raised my siblings while my mom was in her room smoking her crack. We had been placed in foster care before. We were split up and I didn't want that to happen to us again so I did my mom's job. I did the cooking when we had food, cleaning, helping with homework, bathing, made sure they went to school and were clean, etc.
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by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2012 at 2:31 AM
1 mom liked this

i would tell him exactly that but I NEVER have that problem : (

misslady80013
by on May. 3, 2012 at 4:44 AM
So, tell him I appreciate him instead of saying thank you? I am sorry. :-( Oh, I had to bitch him out last week though. Just because I am breast feeding doesn't mean he can't help with everything else. He isn't fully up too par yet but I do notice his effort and just wanted to let him know that I do see it.

Quoting MixedCooke:

i would tell him exactly that but I NEVER have that problem : (

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BonitaM
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2012 at 9:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't thank DH for watching DD because when I'm unavailable it's his job to do so.  I do, however, tell him how much fun DD had with him and ask questions and tell him how awesome of a dad he is.

tx_mom007
by on May. 3, 2012 at 10:10 AM
1 mom liked this
Same here:)

Quoting BonitaM:

I don't thank DH for watching DD because when I'm unavailable it's his job to do so.  I do, however, tell him how much fun DD had with him and ask questions and tell him how awesome of a dad he is.

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tm88rn
by on May. 3, 2012 at 10:55 AM
2 moms liked this

I don't know. I've never thanked him for helping, because he doesn't. He is a father to our children, not a helper. I tell him that I think he is an amazing father, but that is about it.

rebekahmuse
by Member on May. 3, 2012 at 11:01 AM
1 mom liked this

 I would just say something along the line of "I think you're doing a wonderful job with the kids". I agree with the others though. I usually don't say thank you just because it's what he's supposed to do, you know?

GE1
by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:54 PM
2 moms liked this

I don't know even though my DH is his father I still say thank you everytime he does anything for me. DH tells me that I don't need to but I do anyways

CherryBlossom4
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:01 PM
2 moms liked this

I drop him little emails that just say, "Hey, thanks for coming home early to watch the kids for my doctors appointment." Obviously, he is their dad and he loves to do it, but many men don't... so I try to show my appreciation whenever I can. I will text him and do the same. We write notes on the bathroom mirror to each other and I tell him thank you for being a great husband/dad. 

MistyMoo
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2012 at 2:05 PM
1 mom liked this
I usually wait until we are alone and we are cuddling and I tell him how much I appreciate him helping out and I tell him how much I love him. I figure he probably appreciates hearing that he's appreciated lol
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misslady80013
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:46 PM
I agree with that. I had to bitch him out last week because at that time our son was two weeks old and he had changed a handful of diapers. I just wanted to let him know that I noticed that he is trying to be more involved. You know what I mean? Our son is only 3 weeks so I can't ask him yet, lol. That's a great idea for when he gets older though and thanks for sharing. :-)

Quoting BonitaM:

I don't thank DH for watching DD because when I'm unavailable it's his job to do so.  I do, however, tell him how much fun DD had with him and ask questions and tell him how awesome of a dad he is.

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