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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

dilemma :(

Posted by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:12 AM
  • 20 Replies

 I have been with dh for 7 years, has not been the most perfect relationship. Sex is an issue. since before my 1 year old was concieved we never had sex. it was me wanting it, him making excuses. we would 1 time a week, which is nothing, then 1 time every few months :( I tried everything, I even straight out asked him he said he does but Im a bitch to him.thats always his excuse im not though. the only time I ever was, was when hed go out with his friends every weekend and leave me home with the kids until 4am, 9am, etc had a right to be!!! the going out on the weekend to 9am lasted until this past dec. the whole time I was pregnant with lo who is 1 he didnt go out at all, but once she was a few months old it started again. I hacked into his facebook account and found him emialing girls, his excuse well you said you didnt want to be with me, um yeah I said that whenyou didnt come home all night who wouldnt? well from sept to dec 1 x a week went out all night. then in jan he stopped, but our sex life remains the same, he says im tired, you fell asleep, etc. Im just sick of it. im 29!!!! and he doesnt want me to move out, he wants to be together, i dont get it. he has never asked me to marry him though. he isnt really dh hes just bf, but i call him dh. i have dropped hints and he said of course i do, but nothing, anways we moved into his moms house in december for $1850 a month and in two months its gone up to 2150 we are paying the entire morgage because she lives in the front apt and is supposed to pay the utilities and hasnt.she owns another house in florida and pays those bills. she expects us to repair her house, the sunroom/living room is caving in, it needs a new roof, every room needs major repairs so we are stuck in our bedrooms or the kitchen. really stinks. so now she is wanting dh to rent out her part of the house so we can pay the utilities because she isnt paying them, which is fine but she wants to move up here with her 22 year old son who wont work 1. ill have to give up my 11 year old dd room and she will have to move in with her 5 year old brother 2.her son has lived with us in the past was very loud, ate all our food, and piled dishes up to the sink and has 4 dogs :( we have 4 small dogs, not gonna work. his dogs pee and poo all over my floors when the accidentally get up here, do you think im gonna want to deal with it? not really..she said shes moving to her florida house in july but ive heard that for 7 years...the whole point is my mom offered for us to move there for awhile shes in another state. she said she can watch my kids so I can work I am a nurse and so is she and she can get me work. we are broke due to the high morgage and i have NO babysitters here MIL has mental issues and she doesnt take medicine for it shes supposed to so I would be kind of worried leaving my kids there plus she works.....plus I have PPD and its 1 year later and not goign away so dr has prescribed me some medicine which my mom said I can start there and she can help me if i feel dizzy or weird the first few days... here dh works from 630am to sometimes 8pm so im always alone. plus IMO our relationship is lifeless...no kissing, no sex, and he is freaking out about me going to my moms saying hell miss me too much, and etc but he doesnt change i dont get it!!!! another issue is school ends in texas at the end of may, here in june, the kids will miss the last few weeks of school, im concerened but the texas school said it shouldnt be an issue for them and they will still push them a grade ahead. im just depressed ive been with dh for so long, but i feel for myself I need to see how it would be without him because of all our realtionship and livign issues. im just so confused. the ticket is arleady booked though for may 12th...

by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MFountaine
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:28 AM
1 mom liked this
If you ask me I think you should do it. If I had that opportunity I would, we've only been married 3 years but he's already taking advantage of having a house wife. You have to put your kids first tho, think about if they will have a better life. Its important for you to be happy as well. After all you're their rock and if you aren't happy they can tell and will respond to it. If anything just take a vacation stay at your moms and if your dh changes you can go back. It could be a ”trial period” to see if he truly cares and is willing to work on your relationship. If he steps up then it might work, if he doesn't then there's your answer. I'm sorry you have to go thru this by yourself. :( if you ever need someone to talk to please message me anytime. Also I live in Texas so maybe if you come we could get together and become friends. :) I'm here if you need me hun. *big hugs*
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mamapuffle
by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:02 AM

thanks so much! im going by austin.....how is it down there in texas?

lovinmybabyboys
by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:21 AM
Wow. That's alot to read.
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mamapuffle
by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:49 AM

sorry, its a long story lol

MFountaine
by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:54 AM
Hot. Lol. Right now it's 75° in my area. I'm in Arlington tho. Just make sure you have plenty of summer clothes and sun screen, it's gonna be hot for a while. :) Good luck and stay safe in your travels.

Quoting mamapuffle:

thanks so much! im going by austin.....how is it down there in texas?

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MFountaine
by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:54 AM
Sorry I made it worse with a long reply. Lol.

Quoting lovinmybabyboys:

Wow. That's alot to read.
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MFountaine
by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:56 AM
I'm sure this is only the tip of the iceberg too huh. Lol. Stay strong, it will all work out. :)

Quoting mamapuffle:

sorry, its a long story lol

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ameliacaldeira
by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:25 PM

i think you need to go to your moms. let Dh figure his family issues out, and if he milles you like he says he will, he will relize that a relationship takes two and he should participate. hell come around or not

BraesMommy21
by on May. 4, 2012 at 2:19 PM

I think you should go to your moms to get a break if hes not going to change,Im going through some of the same things and I wish I had a place for my son and I to go....

Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2012 at 3:33 PM

Get the heck out of there. Are they all his children? Are you going to have legal trouble if you take them out of state? Did you sign a lease or anything with his mother?

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