Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Husbands Constant Complaints

Posted by on May. 7, 2012 at 8:53 AM
  • 17 Replies

My husband is constantly complaining that we do not spend enough time together. I do 99.9% of everything around the house and when it comes to the kids. i am lucky to get him to cut the grass once a week and maybe a load of laundry. Currently we live with my parents and he offers no support. I feel that if he would help me get done with some of the daily chores and help with the kids we would have more time for each other. he goes to school full time 8:00-12:00 everyday and then is home after that. Please if anyone has any advice please share!!!  DESPERATEfrustrated

by on May. 7, 2012 at 8:53 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
AirForceWife13
by Member on May. 7, 2012 at 8:58 AM
1 mom liked this
Best advice I can give is stop doing his laundry, his dishes, and cleanign up after him. When he asks why tell him you didn't have time and that his help would be appreciated. Worked within a month for me.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
2lilmamas
by on May. 7, 2012 at 9:01 AM
1 mom liked this
Does he Work? And if he does not there should be no reason why he doesn't help you around the house or with the kids. I mean he home by noon so he should be considerate and help out.
JessicaEOH
by on May. 7, 2012 at 9:02 AM
1 mom liked this
He's busy 4 hours out of the day? What does he do while you're playing with the kids or watching tv...eating dinner (and lunch)?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
akgraff
by on May. 7, 2012 at 9:06 AM

That's a hard one. Have you tried just asking him nicely to take the trash out while you put a new bag in, or if he can draw the bath for the kids and you'll get them dried and out of the tub? Asked him to help you cook a meal? Maybe read one of the kids a book while you do the dishes? Small things that makes him feel important. School shouldn't take him away from helping. If he works and goes to school he might be too tired, but still should help in some way. I'd say, he's a big boy, he can do his own laundry. Sit him down, say "I know you want time with me and I'd love time with you, but I feel overloaded with all the cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the kids, if we work together we will have more time together. Could you take the trash out and I'll stick a new bag in there?" maybe find an easy comprimise. Tell him  if he mows the lawn there will be a sexy reward waiting for him..when you ask him to mow the lawn look at him sexy and maybe rub his leg or something that turns him on...he'll put two and two together.

Krysden
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2012 at 10:14 AM

Tell him that!   If you feel that help from him would allow the two of you more time together then you have to tell him that.   And be openly appreciative of the things that he does help with.... praise goes a long way.

GraceHudson
by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:17 AM
bump


Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2012 at 10:59 AM

Men are pretty simple creatures,they want appreciation,sex,food. Make him a list of what you need done and then reward him! He's probably clueless as to how to do most of it,so be patient,and not critical if he doesn't do it the way you would.

CherryBlossom4
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:14 AM

Do you think he is holding out on helping you beause he feels you don't give him what he wants? 

Spend a week doing what he wants. Spend time with him, more sex if that is what he wants, whatever it is that makes him happy. Either one of the following will happen... 1) He will be estatic and will start helping you out more even if he doesn't realize he is doing it. Or 2) The house chores and all that he is used to being done FOR him will start to fall apart/build up and he will see just how much you do and have been doing, then he will see that you need help here and there to get both your wishes granted.

rowansmum
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:18 AM
Reward jar lmao! Make a list of chores (start short) and have him write some things he'd like you to do in pieces of paper. Stick the papers in a jar and when the chores are done pick a paper. Seems juvenile I know but it works.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Pregnant0904
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:38 AM

 I know what you are going through although mine is the opposite. I tell my bf that we need to send more time together but I am the one doing all the house work, shopping, cleaning, etc. He says he will help out but the only time he does is when I get mad because I have to do it ALL. Eventually he started doing little things for me. Like he took me to lunch on his day off and sometimes he will get a lil burst of energy and we will randomly go to a bigger city for the day to just be together.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN