I've read a lot of posts about this topic, but none of them are comparitive to my unique situation. I'm to the point I dont know what else to do. Here's the situation:
My husband and I have been married almost 6 years. I have 2 children from previous relationships. He took us in and has been wonderful. I made sure to tell him before we ever got married that I was done having children, that I really never wanted any in the first place; and that I was just dealing with what life had thrown at me. I love my children. Don't get me wrong there. But they aren't the issue here. I had my tubes cauterized when my daughter was one; I was so sure I didnt want any more children. Again, something he knew long before we got married.
Well, he wants a child of his own. And we have been fighting off and on about this for a few years now. Turns out he thought I'd change my mind once he provided me with the life I'd always dreamed of having. I have not. I feel just as strongly now as I did when I made the decision to not have any more. He says if I loved him I would give him a child. That he's sacrificed everything for me and my children; but I wont make that one sacrifice for him.
So when we've had the talks, and the fights about it...he stands his ground just as hard as I do mine. Seems to me the only solution is to have a baby I don't want; or get divorced. Yet whenever I say that word to him he gets angry and says I should just love him and give him a child. And he can't believe I'd so easily come to the conclusion that we should get divorced. I can't make him see that that is the only logical conclusion to this situation. Is it?
It's just when I even try to think of having another baby, it makes me physically ill. I get naseous. I freak. It's hard enough raising the two I've got. I want to make him happy. I've done everything else in the world he has asked me to do. But none of it is enough; it doesn't matter. Because I won't have his child. I don't know what to do anymore. This is tearing us apart, and hurting my children.