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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Good Sex Should Not Have to Last All Night Long - Do you think all-night sex is overrated?

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Good Sex Should Not Have to Last All Night Long

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham on May 7, 2012 

red bullThe other day, I stumbled across an article on CNN discussing the "other male problem." It was referring to premature ejaculation (men who can't hold on longer than a minute). And while premature ejaculation (PE) is its own nightmare, the idea that women want long, pounding, all night sex sessions is simply just outdated and wrong.

Women talk. And most of what I hear from my friends and myself is that 10-15 minutes of actual intercourse is plenty. Sure, we want foreplay and romance and cuddling after, but a man who can last 10 minutes is usually right on target.

And yet if you talk to men, you get something else entirely.

They joke: "I am going to give her the best 10 minutes of her life," they might say. But behind that bravado is actual shame and feelings of inadequacy as if 10 minutes is somehow way too short.

And while obviously there are exceptions -- after all, what honeymooner or early couple doesn't love the occasional all-night sex session? -- generally speaking, 10 minutes is plenty.

We get sore! We get bored! For many women, 10 minutes is enough to hit their orgasm, so anything after that just feels a little like overkill and may result in boredom (and soreness). If you can get her to orgasm, you have done your job, good sir. You can stop now.

I know I don't speak for all women, and sure, there are likely women who like to be banged all night long. Good on them. Talk with your partner. If she is like that, then carry on. But many, many women are happy and satisfied with a 10-minute session bookended by a little foreplay and a little cuddling.

"Lasting" is lovely, but give me 10 skilled minutes most days and I am a happy and satisfied woman. I have things to do!

Besides, usually even "all night sex" had some periods of rest. Think multiple times over one time that lasts 3 hours. Our vaginas need some rest, dudes. Chafing is a very real problem.

Do you think all-night sex is overrated?

by on May. 7, 2012 at 6:29 PM
Replies (31-40):
Mom2Addison12
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:09 PM

WOW.

i'm crazy then....because we go all night if we can...with breaks of course, but still. w only do a bit of forplay as of right now, but it'll change once we are in our own place. but once he gets me going, then i can't seem to stop.....he lasts lik 20 minutes....and thank god..

screw that quickie bullshit...i mean if he gets home and we want too then we do a quickie and go to sleep. but that's it.

and those who say you hat cuddling,  WTF is wrong with you?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! i feel so much more connected to my husband right aftr we finish and are laying in bed naked and  cuddle up next to each other. only way i can fall asleep to be honest.

Hottmomma607
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by Trica on May. 8, 2012 at 12:01 AM
Heck no!! I love some all night sex!! ;-) Sometimes!! But we never go shorter than 10 minutes!!
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usmchoney
by on May. 8, 2012 at 12:05 AM

If sex last only 10 mins, I'd be very unsatisfied. I can orgasm more than once, so I'm not sure how that is an issue. At least 30 mins...

CameronsMommy23
by on May. 8, 2012 at 1:41 AM
I agree! All nighters are not practical at all. Quality not quantity. :)
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rockyhugs35
by on May. 8, 2012 at 7:40 AM
10 mins is fine. Occasionly I want longer. But not every night! That would just be crazy.
dingysfamily
by on May. 8, 2012 at 8:13 AM

 All night sex ... way over-rated in my opinion. It looses it's meaning I think; to me it's supposed to be making love, & with that it just becomes plain old sex ... b/c the woman is getting sore & the man is trying to 'keep it up & going'.  Dh & I take anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours, depending on how long we spend on foreplay.  Sometimes we like to spend longer on the foreplay, sometimes not; but the actual act itself usually last about 10-20 minutes.

bhow
by on May. 8, 2012 at 9:12 AM

wouldn't know, never had it.

brannew
by Member on May. 8, 2012 at 10:10 AM

Depends on the day.  As for chafing and swelling.....I like to switch it up.  I could go a couple of hours, not all night though.  Maybe if we were drunk and doing cocaine at an orgie we would be able to last all night.  (But we're too old for those kind of shinanigans! and it's gross)

Never underestimate the quickie though!

AmaliaD
by Member on May. 8, 2012 at 11:06 AM

??? it all depends -- on the person - the setting - if people are tired or drunk or whatever the situation.   i would say that no one wants it more than an hour and ten minutes is never enough. 

notjstasocermom
by Silver Member on May. 8, 2012 at 11:34 AM

yep overrated.

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