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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Husband & Your Family: Do they get along?

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Both parties of are of different cultural back grounds. Hence differences in religious view points, political outlook, traditions, etc. What do you do for both parties to get along? Note that both sides have strong personalities and opinions on a lot of different things which causes most of the friction. And how can you avoid getting caught in the middle?

by on May. 7, 2012 at 6:41 PM
Replies (41-50):
nyr818
by on May. 8, 2012 at 5:02 PM

I am starting to think that my husband will most likely not get along with my family despite my efforts or their efforts of making him feel loved and part of OUR family, you know what I mean? I have to, I guess, just accept it and let it go. Saddens me a little because I would rather have total strangers, extended family, friends, etc., not like my family - instead it is my husband. I guess we can't win them all, right? On the other side of the spectrum though - I get along well with his family with the exception of his sister who I am civil/polite with but that does not stop me from wanting to try to really get along with her. My husband is at a point where I think he has decided to which I hope/wish he doesn't. And I really don't like the idea of having to go to family gatherins without him there...

Quoting stockuponlove:

No. My parents will always be aware of what could happen.
He will always know that they are like that. It's honestly not my parents fault. I am their child and his parents would be the same way.
Yes we have 2 girls together. 2 and 4.
They tolerate each other and aren't rude or hateful when they are around each other.


Quoting nyr818:

You think both parties will forgive and move forward from the past? Or are they just going to tolerate each for your sake? Do you guys have children? How does that come into play? I am just asking for experience kind of feedback. Trying to related I guess.


Quoting stockuponlove:

No. They tolerate each other. My family holds him to our past. He does the same.
I get along really well with his family. His sister and I are quite close.

 


3ladybugsmom
by on May. 8, 2012 at 5:06 PM
In 6 years our mothers have only been in the same room once and that was 5 years ago when we got married.. Neither family really support us but we make it work:0)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mrs_Szontagh
by on May. 8, 2012 at 5:08 PM

they didn't always- he was the idiot that knocked me up. but now that they have seen how good we are for each other and how hard we've worked to get where we are, they do. just keep truckin momma, good luck! hope it gets easier for you! 

stockuponlove
by on May. 8, 2012 at 5:09 PM
Is there any reason he doesn't like them?!

Quoting nyr818:

I am starting to think that my husband will most likely not get along with my family despite my efforts or their efforts of making him feel loved and part of OUR family, you know what I mean? I have to, I guess, just accept it and let it go. Saddens me a little because I would rather have total strangers, extended family, friends, etc., not like my family - instead it is my husband. I guess we can't win them all, right? On the other side of the spectrum though - I get along well with his family with the exception of his sister who I am civil/polite with but that does not stop me from wanting to try to really get along with her. My husband is at a point where I think he has decided to which I hope/wish he doesn't. And I really don't like the idea of having to go to family gatherins without him there...


Quoting stockuponlove:

No. My parents will always be aware of what could happen.
He will always know that they are like that. It's honestly not my parents fault. I am their child and his parents would be the same way.
Yes we have 2 girls together. 2 and 4.
They tolerate each other and aren't rude or hateful when they are around each other.



Quoting nyr818:


You think both parties will forgive and move forward from the past? Or are they just going to tolerate each for your sake? Do you guys have children? How does that come into play? I am just asking for experience kind of feedback. Trying to related I guess.



Quoting stockuponlove:

No. They tolerate each other. My family holds him to our past. He does the same.
I get along really well with his family. His sister and I are quite close.


 



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
nyr818
by on May. 8, 2012 at 5:10 PM

I sure hope you are right. I will just have to wait and see how things turn out in the next few days. I appreciat the encouragement.

Quoting Mrs_Szontagh:

they didn't always- he was the idiot that knocked me up. but now that they have seen how good we are for each other and how hard we've worked to get where we are, they do. just keep truckin momma, good luck! hope it gets easier for you! 


Mrs_Szontagh
by on May. 8, 2012 at 5:11 PM

it CAN get better!! my family HAAAAAAAAATED my husband (before we were married) but now i think they like him more than me. talk to both sides about how you're feeling... good luck!!!!! 

Quoting nyr818:

I sure hope you are right. I will just have to wait and see how things turn out in the next few days. I appreciat the encouragement.

Quoting Mrs_Szontagh:

they didn't always- he was the idiot that knocked me up. but now that they have seen how good we are for each other and how hard we've worked to get where we are, they do. just keep truckin momma, good luck! hope it gets easier for you! 



nyr818
by on May. 8, 2012 at 5:22 PM

Its a long and a bit complicated story and I see you are posting on your phone. Wouldn't want to eat up all your phone memory capacity. LOL But to answer your question - to me, I do not think so. But then again that could just be a knee jerk reaction to the fact that they are MY family. You know? Either way, I can only hope that he sees that my family really cares for him and want to know him better. Been married only 8 months.

 

Quoting stockuponlove:

Is there any reason he doesn't like them?!

Quoting nyr818:

I am starting to think that my husband will most likely not get along with my family despite my efforts or their efforts of making him feel loved and part of OUR family, you know what I mean? I have to, I guess, just accept it and let it go. Saddens me a little because I would rather have total strangers, extended family, friends, etc., not like my family - instead it is my husband. I guess we can't win them all, right? On the other side of the spectrum though - I get along well with his family with the exception of his sister who I am civil/polite with but that does not stop me from wanting to try to really get along with her. My husband is at a point where I think he has decided to which I hope/wish he doesn't. And I really don't like the idea of having to go to family gatherins without him there...


Quoting stockuponlove:

No. My parents will always be aware of what could happen.
He will always know that they are like that. It's honestly not my parents fault. I am their child and his parents would be the same way.
Yes we have 2 girls together. 2 and 4.
They tolerate each other and aren't rude or hateful when they are around each other.



Quoting nyr818:


You think both parties will forgive and move forward from the past? Or are they just going to tolerate each for your sake? Do you guys have children? How does that come into play? I am just asking for experience kind of feedback. Trying to related I guess.



Quoting stockuponlove:

No. They tolerate each other. My family holds him to our past. He does the same.
I get along really well with his family. His sister and I are quite close.


 


 


PartiallyNormal
by on May. 8, 2012 at 5:28 PM
My mother and DH are always at eachother's throats. They have vey different views on things. My father is eternally enraged a nothing, so he doesn't really matter.
stockuponlove
by on May. 8, 2012 at 5:38 PM
I understand. But know I think that him being your husband you would lean towards his side if you feel he was right.
I do hope that in time it gets worked out. Believe I know how bad it sucks.


Quoting nyr818:

Its a long and a bit complicated story and I see you are posting on your phone. Wouldn't want to eat up all your phone memory capacity. LOL But to answer your question - to me, I do not think so. But then again that could just be a knee jerk reaction to the fact that they are MY family. You know? Either way, I can only hope that he sees that my family really cares for him and want to know him better. Been married only 8 months.


 


Quoting stockuponlove:

Is there any reason he doesn't like them?!



Quoting nyr818:


I am starting to think that my husband will most likely not get along with my family despite my efforts or their efforts of making him feel loved and part of OUR family, you know what I mean? I have to, I guess, just accept it and let it go. Saddens me a little because I would rather have total strangers, extended family, friends, etc., not like my family - instead it is my husband. I guess we can't win them all, right? On the other side of the spectrum though - I get along well with his family with the exception of his sister who I am civil/polite with but that does not stop me from wanting to try to really get along with her. My husband is at a point where I think he has decided to which I hope/wish he doesn't. And I really don't like the idea of having to go to family gatherins without him there...



Quoting stockuponlove:

No. My parents will always be aware of what could happen.
He will always know that they are like that. It's honestly not my parents fault. I am their child and his parents would be the same way.
Yes we have 2 girls together. 2 and 4.
They tolerate each other and aren't rude or hateful when they are around each other.




Quoting nyr818:



You think both parties will forgive and move forward from the past? Or are they just going to tolerate each for your sake? Do you guys have children? How does that come into play? I am just asking for experience kind of feedback. Trying to related I guess.




Quoting stockuponlove:

No. They tolerate each other. My family holds him to our past. He does the same.
I get along really well with his family. His sister and I are quite close.



 



 



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
nyr818
by on May. 8, 2012 at 5:45 PM

You hit it on the nose... what he is thinking or assuming how my family feels about him is wrong... which is why I feel so torn. I know he is my husband support him in every way. But there are just some perceptions that he has about my family - and I know them better than he does - that are misconstrued. I feel stuck in the middle.

Quoting stockuponlove:

I understand. But know I think that him being your husband you would lean towards his side if you feel he was right.
I do hope that in time it gets worked out. Believe I know how bad it sucks.


Quoting nyr818:

Its a long and a bit complicated story and I see you are posting on your phone. Wouldn't want to eat up all your phone memory capacity. LOL But to answer your question - to me, I do not think so. But then again that could just be a knee jerk reaction to the fact that they are MY family. You know? Either way, I can only hope that he sees that my family really cares for him and want to know him better. Been married only 8 months.


 


Quoting stockuponlove:

Is there any reason he doesn't like them?!



Quoting nyr818:


I am starting to think that my husband will most likely not get along with my family despite my efforts or their efforts of making him feel loved and part of OUR family, you know what I mean? I have to, I guess, just accept it and let it go. Saddens me a little because I would rather have total strangers, extended family, friends, etc., not like my family - instead it is my husband. I guess we can't win them all, right? On the other side of the spectrum though - I get along well with his family with the exception of his sister who I am civil/polite with but that does not stop me from wanting to try to really get along with her. My husband is at a point where I think he has decided to which I hope/wish he doesn't. And I really don't like the idea of having to go to family gatherins without him there...



Quoting stockuponlove:

No. My parents will always be aware of what could happen.
He will always know that they are like that. It's honestly not my parents fault. I am their child and his parents would be the same way.
Yes we have 2 girls together. 2 and 4.
They tolerate each other and aren't rude or hateful when they are around each other.




Quoting nyr818:



You think both parties will forgive and move forward from the past? Or are they just going to tolerate each for your sake? Do you guys have children? How does that come into play? I am just asking for experience kind of feedback. Trying to related I guess.




Quoting stockuponlove:

No. They tolerate each other. My family holds him to our past. He does the same.
I get along really well with his family. His sister and I are quite close.



 



 


 


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