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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

How to be cold and unemotional..advice needed!

Posted by on May. 10, 2012 at 11:15 PM
  • 7 Replies
I'm a scorpio so obviously I'm VERY passionate and emotional. However, while I usually walk away for good when someone disrespects me ,there are quite a few people who I seem stuck with.And Gosh do they misunderstand me all the time. Each time I try to express my thoughts/feelings/vision,I'm accused of being irrational,hot-tempered,certifiable and even possessed by demons. And the more I try, the worse it gets. And it hurts cos I care about these people.

So my new strategy is to shut down all the emotion but I need tips on how to just detach and not get so upset.
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by on May. 10, 2012 at 11:15 PM
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Replies (1-7):
samsbaby78
by on May. 10, 2012 at 11:23 PM
1 mom liked this

bumping for you. i cant help i got this way after years of emotional and physical abuse. i don't recommend it.

bennys_mom10
by on May. 10, 2012 at 11:29 PM
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I am emotionaly stunted so its quite easy for me to shut off my emotions to even people I care about, its hard on your heart though once you start shutting down to people its hard to open up to new people, but anyways, I dont know exactly how it is done but I start to distance myself not say how im feeling or ask them how they are, I stop noticing there actions, and close off to affection (if its a man), I act like nothings wrong so they dont notice right away, I tell my self they don't matter and they're a este of my time, start thinking of a life that didn't include them focus on how quiet and relaxed id be if I didn't have to worry about them affecting me in a negative way... I can't explain it but I tried sorry if its no help.
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windsails
by on May. 10, 2012 at 11:32 PM
1 mom liked this

unless you can channel those emotions in another direction, i wouldn't recommend it either, because i would be afraid that it would make you "dead" inside to other parts of your life as well...when dealing with those particular  points that you mentioned, maybe just avoid those subjects ONLY with those CERTAIN people, some arguements you'll NEVERwin and frankly is not worth spilling your precious time and energy on deaf ears and closed minds...you'll save yourself alot of aggrivation that way....just my thoughts

whiskey80
by on May. 11, 2012 at 8:36 AM
I understand what you're saying about it affecting other parts of my life too. It really is and that's why I was hoping I could get get tips on shutting down one area and still remaining alive to the rest. Don't know if that makes sense.
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jgattis
by on May. 11, 2012 at 8:42 AM
1 mom liked this

This can be done...successfully...

I have a job where I am responsible for hiring and firing employees.  When I have to terminate an employee, I have to shut off my emotions.  You can't successfully terminate someone through tears. :)

I am actually a very emotionally open person normally.  Shutting down is not easy.

The best thing you can do is take each situation as it comes.  Once you encounter a situation where emotions don't belong....stick to facts.  Facts do not contain emotions.  Write out a script with only facts about the situation and practice it in the mirror.  Stick to the facts.  Then, when it comes to the real thing, take a deep breath and state only the facts.

It will take some practice but, you can do this and not sacrifice the rest of your life.

I hope this helps some.

VanWyzen
by on May. 11, 2012 at 11:04 AM

 I don't really know how to tell someone else how to do it. I don't really know if there are steps to make it happen. I've just always been this way--no abuse or anything. The problem is that pretending not to care and actually not caring are two different things, you know?

whiskey80
by on May. 11, 2012 at 2:53 PM
Well, I was hoping to learn to pretend so well that it becomes real. You know, fake it till you make it..
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