Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

once again... (piog) *update*

Posted by on May. 11, 2012 at 4:35 AM
  • 15 Replies

i've managed to piss off my husband all because i asked him to help me put away the clean laundry... neither of us are working, we are both in school, and while he actually goes to class 2 days a week from 5p.m.-9p.m. i am home taking care of our son and our home... i finally got pissed off and told him that if he's gonna act like an ass, to just go... then came out of the bedroom and said, "since your not gonna help me in here, will you do the dishes?"and as he was walking out i said, "btw, from now on you can do your own laundry." 5 minutes later he was still sitting there, i walked back out and said, "babe?" then he got up... the man is 30 years old and i do basically everything around our home. i cook, do laundry, clean, take care of our son and i do online classes... and he sits at the computer playing games or in front of the t.v... HE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can someone tell me what i can do to get him to act more adult?

so after i calmed done the other day i told hubby that if he will stop bitch and complaining about helping me put the laundry away, i wont make him do his own. and for now he has agreed... and yesterday (friday) he went to the laundry mat and helped me get stuff washed... (i've been lazy and havent gotten them put up just yet). but he has started to try helping me

by on May. 11, 2012 at 4:35 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
roxanna79
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2012 at 4:48 AM
My dh works a job and I am a sahm, but I still get behind with a teenager and a toddler. I just sat him down and told him I realized that he has the paying job, but sometimes I need a little help just like he needs help sometimes. He doesn't always know what I need him to help with so I tell him it would really help me out if you could do (whatever I want him to do). It doesnt always get done the way I would do it. I alwas thank him. With my dh he likes to feel needed as in he likes to help out his wife who needs help (him saving the day) and he needs to feel appreciated and aknowledged (thank you that really helped me out)... Works here.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momma4AJ
by Member on May. 11, 2012 at 5:00 AM

i ask him to do little things here or there like take out the trash, and i do tell him thank you. i honestly do appreciate the things he does... but it pisses me off that he act's like a child when i ask him for help...

Quoting roxanna79:

My dh works a job and I am a sahm, but I still get behind with a teenager and a toddler. I just sat him down and told him I realized that he has the paying job, but sometimes I need a little help just like he needs help sometimes. He doesn't always know what I need him to help with so I tell him it would really help me out if you could do (whatever I want him to do). It doesnt always get done the way I would do it. I alwas thank him. With my dh he likes to feel needed as in he likes to help out his wife who needs help (him saving the day) and he needs to feel appreciated and aknowledged (thank you that really helped me out)... Works here.


roxanna79
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2012 at 5:27 AM
Thats where sitting him fown and telling him you are overwhelmed might help. He probably sees it as you ask this and that and the other but he takes it as nagging (he is a man) if he.knows why you are asking it may help? Ask him why he doesnt lime helping out? Dont say why.do you act like a child that will make him defensive... Men and their pride. Lol Talking to him really is key ;)


Quoting momma4AJ:

i ask him to do little things here or there like take out the trash, and i do tell him thank you. i honestly do appreciate the things he does... but it pisses me off that he act's like a child when i ask him for help...


Quoting roxanna79:

My dh works a job and I am a sahm, but I still get behind with a teenager and a toddler. I just sat him down and told him I realized that he has the paying job, but sometimes I need a little help just like he needs help sometimes. He doesn't always know what I need him to help with so I tell him it would really help me out if you could do (whatever I want him to do). It doesnt always get done the way I would do it. I alwas thank him. With my dh he likes to feel needed as in he likes to help out his wife who needs help (him saving the day) and he needs to feel appreciated and aknowledged (thank you that really helped me out)... Works here.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
pinklove22
by on May. 11, 2012 at 5:35 AM

here is a bump....i am of no use i just had a convo with my husband asking him to help me at times with around the house and he acts like a butt says he works and his job is tough and always throws in my face that i dont have it hard i just like to complain ugh idk what to do with my hubby i did learn not to go and ask for anything if i dont want it coming back to slap me in the face :) Good luck

2lilmamas
by on May. 11, 2012 at 6:32 AM
Honestly do your part but stop picking up for him all the time. He's got use to the routine that you will pick up and handle everything. He may go to school but he has enough time in his hands. Stop doing certain things for him. Lets see if he likes it...He needs to grow up and not be selfish.
momma4AJ
by Member on May. 11, 2012 at 6:42 AM

yeah the thing with not picking up after him, the house would be a disaster... he is a tornado on 2 legs...

Quoting 2lilmamas:

Honestly do your part but stop picking up for him all the time. He's got use to the routine that you will pick up and handle everything. He may go to school but he has enough time in his hands. Stop doing certain things for him. Lets see if he likes it...He needs to grow up and not be selfish.


mommy2twoboyz
by Member on May. 11, 2012 at 6:47 AM
How can 2 people with a child "not be working right now" and still have a home to clean? I have honestly never heard of this.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momma4AJ
by Member on May. 11, 2012 at 7:24 AM

we are getting a lot of help from his dad...

Quoting mommy2twoboyz:

How can 2 people with a child "not be working right now" and still have a home to clean? I have honestly never heard of this.


CoolRelax
by Member on May. 11, 2012 at 1:34 PM

 

Quoting momma4AJ:

yeah the thing with not picking up after him, the house would be a disaster... he is a tornado on 2 legs...

Quoting 2lilmamas:

Honestly do your part but stop picking up for him all the time. He's got use to the routine that you will pick up and handle everything. He may go to school but he has enough time in his hands. Stop doing certain things for him. Lets see if he likes it...He needs to grow up and not be selfish.

 

Start stashing his clothes in trash bags.  He'll get the hint when he's standing in the house in his draws asking where his clothes are, lol. 

Anryan
by Platinum Member on May. 11, 2012 at 1:50 PM
Im a sahm and take care of a 2mo old, 2 yr old and homeschool a 12 yr ol, take care of our house, cook, clean etc. I don't ask either of my guys for help, ever, because they just pitch in when they want....they will do dishes on a whim, put clothes in washer, etc....I think because I don't ask and when they are home they see me always going and doing that out of respect they just do things. I'm old fashioned and have the mentality its my job just like they have their jobs...and because of that I just don't expect help (tho I always appreciate it and thanik them) and don't feel resentful that they aren't always doing something when their home.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)