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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

'7 Days of Sex' Challenge Day Six: THIS Is Why Married Sex Is Hard - Do you have enough time for sex?

Posted by on May. 15, 2012 at 6:10 PM
  • 10 Replies

'7 Days of Sex' Challenge Day Six: THIS Is Why Married Sex Is Hard

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham on May 15, 2012 

When you have been married nine years and together for more than 11, sometimes it's easy to take sex for granted. My husband and I knew that Lifetime's 7 Days of Sex challenge was not going to be easy. We knew it would require more focus and determination than we had been giving to sex in recent months. But we also didn't realize how good that can be.


Day six was a Monday, which never bodes well for us. We were up late Sunday night after our long drive home from the lake. We had a million chores to do to get ready for the week (laundry, lunch packing, unpacking from the lake) and our cleaning people were coming bright and early in the morning, which meant we would have no time in the morning, plus I was spending the morning at my son's preschool.

When I woke up for the gym, I shut off my alarm without making the class. This never bodes well.

On days I skip the gym, I become cranky and hard to be around, so we had one strike by 7:30 a.m. By the time the kids were in bed and I was finished with my job, it was 11:45 and my husband was completely passed out in our bed.

The kids had been a challenge to put to bed. I had to watch two shows for work and the day had been a generally exhausting one that culminated with the cat peeing on our sofa for no discernible reason.

In short, there was very little reason to want to have sex and many, many reasons not to. And this is exactly the issue.

Our lives are simply too busy and stressful to have sex some days. It's not about "making it a priority" or neglecting one another at all. It is truly about the sheer amount of demands on both of our lives and attention. Sure, I could find the space by skipping the gym, but working out is my sanity. I would no sooner skip the gym than I would skip brushing my teeth or hair.

Though I did wake my husband up and have some sleepy, obligatory sex, there is no way I would have done so had the challenge not dictated it. I am almost finished with 50 Shades of Grey and yes, it is hot. But even an erotic novel can't fix our issue, which is about neither drive nor desire.

It is about time. And time is something we have in very short supply these days.

There are not a lot of ways around that, but we can try. And realizing where we can improve is half the battle. Sure, we can't create more hours in the day, but we can use the little time we DO have for each other rather than falling in front of the TV, exhausted.

Tonight is the very last night and we are supposed to renew our vows to one another. I am looking forward to it.

This is Day Six of the 7 Days of Sex Challenge issued by Lifetime TV. To see the rest, click here.

Do you have enough time for sex?

by on May. 15, 2012 at 6:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mom2Addison12
by on May. 16, 2012 at 1:01 AM

we make time for sex.

JennPearce
by Jenn! on May. 16, 2012 at 1:09 AM
Yes but dh makes excuses not to. We can always make time!
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kargirl42
by on May. 16, 2012 at 1:32 AM
Nope..boys are always with us..no time.
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mrjjmt
by Member on May. 16, 2012 at 1:37 AM

This is exactly our problem. With me working full time and going to school part time and DH working full time. 4 kids and 2 foster boys. Working opposite shifts so the kids don't have to go to daycare.  Finding the time is difficult. We have very little time together and when we do it is really late or early and there is always something else that needs to be done. This would be an interesting challenge to try, though I am not sure how successful we would be.

TrentonGirl
by on May. 16, 2012 at 1:42 AM
Nope. dh works between 60-72hrs a week. so when he is home he is resting.
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Mama2ETA
by on May. 16, 2012 at 1:43 AM

the past few months have been hard because of medical reasons, but normally, we always have time. Thankfully things are going back to normal.

lalaballet
by on May. 16, 2012 at 1:58 AM
Three days pushes it for us, normally no more than two. Except for when he is gone.
Krysden
by Platinum Member on May. 16, 2012 at 7:27 AM

Time can indeed be challenging.

MomToovey
by Marianne on May. 16, 2012 at 9:05 AM

 Yes we do. It helps only having one child, so neither of us are too stressed out from taking care of her, and once she's in bed, it's just the two of us. But yes, we do have the time. I agree that we struggle with there being other things on our mind, especially DH who works a demanding job, but we usually go at it 3 times a week or so.

RheaF
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2012 at 9:07 AM
We do have time, but neither of us want to do that challenge. I feel that saying, ok we have to do it tonight it is part of the challenge, makes it a chore. That is not what sex is meant to be. No, we do not have sex every night, or even on a regular basis, but we are happy with that.
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